All stories, A–Z
1,224 Buddhist wisdom stories, analogies and jokes — page 3 of 13. Browse by theme or life situation, or describe your situation to get a match.
F
- Floating above the paddy fields — An Australian soldier in Vietnam, going to help an injured mate, steps on a landmine that blows…
- Floating houses on the Bangladesh Delta — Rather than relocating people from the flood-prone Bangladesh Delta — their home and livelihood —…
- Food for the dogs — the first Westerner on alms round — In a remote Thai village where no one had seen a Westerner, villagers stare so hard while offering…
- Form is emptiness — the empty platter — A hungry wandering Zen monk is sent to a famous restaurant owned by a generous Buddhist woman. She…
- Four old men outside in the rain — Chinese parable: wealth, success, love and harmony stand as old men in the rain; the family can…
- Free beer — and the beer-garden roof fell in — Nyanaponika as a young man in Germany: beer-garden brewery catches fire; friends run in for free…
- Free buffet lunch on the Norway ferry — Hitchhiking student on a cheap Norway–UK ferry; a couple say he reminds them of their son and buy…
- Free coffee for meditating by the corpse — In Thailand, where people fear ghosts and fresh corpses, the young Western monk announces he will…
- Fremantle just won — Dopey must be alive — Snow White finds a mine collapse; silence to 'are you okay?' Then she tries 'Fremantle just won…
- French copper wires under Paris — Telecom conference: French claim ancient copper under Paris; English one-up with older bronze…
- Fridge full, no one came — In the first year or two at Magnolia Street, food in the fridge could not be eaten unless…
- From Perth Airport uncertainty to a Rolls-Royce in Armadale — A visiting monk arrived at Perth Airport without saying which day, started walking, and within ~50…
- From prison to 'Reservoir Dogs' — A boy who fled an abusive Los Angeles home at six becomes a career criminal. Near release in his…
- From the park dance to the gorillas — Young woman with Asperger's leaves school early, drugs and homelessness; a dance teacher spots her…
- Funeral chants at a wedding — Too tired, Ajahn Brahm starts the chanting for funerals instead of a wedding blessing — and once…
- Funeral for the first wife years later — At a ceremony Ajahn Brahm learns the man's first wife died of malaria just after they escaped the…
- Funeral subcommittee while still healthy — Buddhist society starts a subcommittee for his funeral arrangements while he feels fine — he…
G
- Gambling? With whom? — A Buddhist monk, a Christian priest and a rabbi meet for interfaith friendship; tea turns to…
- Garfield appeared in the nimitta — In deep cave meditation a pure yellow nimitta arises — then he notices its form is Garfield the…
- Gave away the furniture to a young couple — Before ordination he gives a young recently-married couple his expensive furniture for free — they…
- George Burns on worrying — At 96, comedian George Burns still stays out at nightclubs, drinks whisky, smokes and eats fatty…
- 'George, you stupid man' — A woman who came to the Perth centre always belittled her husband in public — 'George, come over…
- George's lungs cleared — A heavy smoker, George, is shown X-rays with cancer throughout both lungs; his Armadale doctor…
- “Get off my feet” — From Ram Dass's writings: a young disciple invites him to her father, in constant agony in…
- Get your wife to cancel if you're dead — A man needing an operation is told the earliest slot is in three months; he protests he might be…
- Ghost stories on the walk to the grave — At a Chinese burial in Kolkata Cemetery he kills ten minutes walking with an elderly funeral…
- “Give me another hand” — A GP tells the parents of a boy born deaf that an article reports 10% of such children can have…
- Give me the phone — call your other son — After Bundaberg visit, lunch in Brisbane: host has two sons, one estranged for years. Brahm asks…
- Giving away the motorbike before ordination — Before Thailand he realises monks cannot keep a motorbike (robes balloon on one ride); he does not…
- Giving up beer at 18 — As a young Buddhist student who loved beer, Ajahn Brahm was told by his teacher that he shouldn't…
- Giving up tea for three months — People told Ajahn Brahm he was addicted to tea. So he decided to give it up for the three-month…
- Goat for dinner — A mother-in-law coming to dinner asks her grandson what's on the menu. 'Goat,' he says — he…
- God didn't recognise him — A man who can't find a partner is told by a psychologist to get a sharp suit, a proper haircut,…
- Good, bad — who knows? The king's finger — A king scratches his finger hunting; the court doctor only says 'good, bad, who knows?' When the…
- 'Goodnight, Paul' — A non-Buddhist couple in Perth came to the monks, bewildered. Home from hospital with their…
- Goosebumps in a 1,600-year-old cave — Near Anuradhapura, Ajahn Brahm sits in a cave whose donor inscription is ~1,600 years old —…
- Grandma's chips, any time — Young Ajahn Brahm could visit his grandmother any time of day or night and she'd cook him chips.…
- Grandmother with dementia still knew the monk — Near the end, grandmother has long dementia; in a UK ward she recognises Brahm at once while…
- Grasshopper and the pool of acid — In an episode of 'Kung Fu', the blind master shows the novice Grasshopper a pool of 'acid' with…
- Green velvet jeans at the Isle of Wight — Going to the 1970 Isle of Wight rock festival, young Ajahn Brahm wears green velvet jeans to be…
- Guanyin came over the waves — then the British frigate — Vietnamese boat people who reached Perth told him that at their most desperate — robbed by…
- Guards with machine guns — to keep the world out — Visiting a very wealthy man in Kuala Lumpur, Ajahn Brahm passes machine-gun guards at the gate.…
H
- Hägar: 'Why me?' — 'Why not!' — In a Hägar the Horrible cartoon, Hägar is shipwrecked on an island in a storm. He looks up at the…
- Hahayana — the book title that stuck — Idea for a joke book combining Hinayana/Mahayana/Vajrayana into Hahayana — title first, book maybe…
- Half an hour in a locked fire exit — Arriving in Singapore after an overnight flight and straight into teaching, then playing himself…
- Half of what we teach you is wrong — A doctor driving Ajahn Brahm to a retreat recalls the welcome speech at his Sydney medical school:…
- Halloween on the London Underground — His brother puts him on the Tube toward the London Buddhist Society. The carriage fills with…
- Hands behind their backs — In his one year as a schoolteacher in Devon, walking down a narrow lane at lunchtime, he meets two…
- Happytitis — very contagious — Analogy/joke: not hepatitis — happytitis; stay long enough and you catch it.
- Harrow Brook neighbours filled the sitting room — Mother injured; blood trail into the apartment; before the ambulance, Harrow Brook neighbours pack…
- 'Have you got any brains?' — The wife of Keith, an early Buddhist Society member, found a recipe calling for lamb's brains and…
- Hawaiian shirts at funerals — Early Perth funerals are all black; he wants funeral directors in Hawaiian shirts — kids arrive…
- Hay Street Mall — two hours outside Time Zone — Years ago Ajahn Brahm sat two hours on the cold pavement of Hay Street Mall right in front of a…
- He almost bought lunch for the lady who looked like Mum — Stuck out of the monastery before noon, he queues at a food court behind a little old pensioner…
- He didn't have a leg to stand on — A motorcyclist's wrong leg is amputated; they take the other too. He sues and loses — he didn't…
- He died of the blunt knife and the running tap — Told as a famous psychology experiment: a condemned man in England is told his hanging is changed…
- He forgot to pre-program coming out — Eastern-states monk leads a 9-day retreat; after first sit he never opens his eyes — yogis go to…
- He gave the robe he was wearing — A monk gives the only robe he has on to a poorer man and walks back naked under monastic rules'…
- He judged the violin — then heard the old woman — A poor mountain father sacrifices for his children's education; they prosper in the city, send him…
- He laid the top bricks himself — Building a hall: bricklayer refuses the shaking scaffold at the top; Brahm crawls the unsupported…
- He likes solitude — monastery code for a troublemaker — As a senior monk he got transfer letters from other monasteries with coded praise: 'likes…
- He offered me a job at the Melbourne Comedy Club — After a Melbourne talk a TV comedian came up and said he could get Brahm a job at the Melbourne…
- He only meant to give her lifts — After divorce a man rehoming his pedigree dog met an elderly woman who needed rides to doctor and…
- He pats the monastery car — Other monks can't start the car; he pats it, says kind words, pulls the starter — it works. Treat…
- He punched the art teacher for smiling — then called him a friend — An Armadale-group artist who taught at Claremont smiled at a difficult colleague; the man punched…
- He ran for the camera and missed the Himalayas — On a monsoon trip near Kathmandu he hitch-rides a post truck toward the Tibetan border, climbs a…
- He renamed his sons Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha — A once-a-year 'Vesak Buddhist' businessman hears that thinking of Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha at…
- He said he had been Emperor Ashoka — A famous Thai monk (unnamed here; Brahm withholds the name) told close monks he had been Emperor…
- He sang The Sound of Silence for $10,000 — A sponsor offered a $10,000 cheque for the nuns' monastery if Ajahn Brahm would sing. Monks don't…
- He thought the Lazy Boy was heaven — A person dies and is reborn in a soft Lazy Boy armchair and thinks this must be heaven. After…
- He trained the muscles beside his spine — A Bodhinyana monk with degenerative spine pain was told not to sit cross-legged. Using mindfulness…
- 'He was a leader in his field' — People told Ajahn Brahm about a co-worker who never criticised or said anything bad about anyone.…
- He was wishing away months of his life — A fellow high-school teacher, stuck finishing a contract before a new job, realised on the way to…
- He won the Chiang Mai lottery — and went mad — In Chiang Mai illegal number-lotteries run by gangs: a man sells his house, wins a fortune, then…
- 'He's not going' — then 'You go' — At a parents' evening when Ajahn Brahm was about 14, his maths teacher told his father the boy was…
- “He's not my husband, he's my dad” — At a Malaysian retreat a young woman does all the talking in an interview while the quiet man…
- Heads I marry him — At Oslo University a young woman asks how to make a really important decision. To make it…
- Health food kept me out of heaven — First funeral joke: couple die close together; angel shows eternal reward — mansion, TV where your…
- Hell will freeze over — Freo won — Two Fremantle labourers enjoy hotter and hotter hell (Pilbara, SE Asia); devil freezes it — they…
- Her chronic arthritis was gone — A woman overseas emailed that she had been on strong painkillers for chronic arthritis; after his…
- Her mother stopped shouting — A young woman in Bangkok whose whole family came to his talks never did herself — until she…
- Her mother-in-law had the face of Guanyin — A Vietnamese woman married to an Australian could not win over a hostile (possibly racist)…
- Hey Hare Krishna — and he was one — Shopping with his mother on Ealing Broadway, someone shouts 'Hey Hare Krishna!' Embarrassed for…
- Hi Brahm — I still meditate every day — Ex-prisoner Nick (former drug dealer) finds Brahm in an airport, puts a hand on his shoulder,…
- His grandfather said you're stupid — A brilliant monk in the monastery did terribly at school because his beloved grandfather once…
- His new BMX for a rabbit — Boy with birthday BMX finds bigger kids torturing a rabbit; trades the bike for the animal.…
- Holy water by the bucket — then she sold it — Thai member Poonsup Wong, always sick, asks Ajahn Brahm for holy water by the 11-litre bucket each…
- Holy water from Lourdes — “Another miracle!” — Returning from pilgrimage to Lourdes, a Catholic traveller's bags contain two Johnnie Walker…
- Hopeful a burglar might leave us something — In a tiny London council flat, young Brahm asks why they don't lock the door. Father: not afraid…
- “How about the Holy Ghost, then?” — Being shown around the creaky old Benedictine abbey at New Norcia, Ajahn Brahm teases Abbot Placid…
- How big is my hand? — Simile (shown with his hand): held in front of his face, his hand is so big he can see nothing…
- How dare you take away my grief? — After a talk on freedom from pain, a mother of a Claremont serial-killer victim eyeballs Brahm:…
- How heavy is the glass? — Brahm's own analogy (he laughs hearing someone else quote it): how heavy is the glass? The longer…
- “How many of you have ever eaten rice pudding?” — Unexpectedly facing 60 Year 1 and 2 children, Ajahn Brahm asks who doesn't like rice pudding; a…
- How many seconds in a year? — After walking through 60/60/24/365, the answer is 12: the 2nd of January, February, March…
- How many times should you forgive? — At a Singapore concert based on his book, asked how many times in Buddhism you should forgive…
- How Opening the Door of Your Heart was written — A woman who'd been through a terrible divorce urges him to publish his stories; he's too busy, so…
- How the donkey caught the carrot — A stubborn donkey is driven by a carrot dangling on a string from a stick tied to its own back —…
- How the ice-cream cone was invented — At the 1908 (he hedges the year) St Louis World's Fair, an ice-cream stall sat next to a waffle…
- How to be happy — no one is happy — A self-help cartoon: open the book How to Be Happy and it says 'no one is happy — next question'.…