Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

He likes solitude — monastery code for a troublemaker

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

we used to sort of um get these letters every now and again from other monasteries saying we've got this monk and they say well you know he's um he likes solitude which was code for he can't get on with anybody or he's a very good worker which meant he can't meditate for his life or that He's very reflective and contemplative, which means he's always looking at other people's faults and telling them. So, we always had these code words. So, usually if they would say they want to send a monk over from another monastery, we'd always actually ring up not the abbot, but ring up one of the other monks to find out what the heck they were sending to make sure that it wasn't going to be someone who's going to be a troublemaker

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 1:36 (to 2:32)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Transfer letters between monasteries had a code: 'likes solitude' meant can't get on with anyone; 'reflective' meant always finds fault. So Ajahn Brahm rang the junior monks to learn the truth. Some difficult people we can't avoid; they're family, or they just turn up. Start by accepting that they're part of life.

In brief (our summary)

As a senior monk he got transfer letters from other monasteries with coded praise: 'likes solitude' meant he can't get on with anybody; 'very good worker' meant he can't meditate; 'reflective and contemplative' meant he always finds other people's faults. So they would ring a junior monk, not the abbot, to find out what they were really being sent.

Teaching point

Difficult people arrive with nice labels; check the code before you say yes.

When this story may help

  • managing a team
  • receiving a transfer
  • reading between the lines

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010 · 2010-07-11 · ▶ watch from 1:36 to 2:32 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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