Joke · Ajahn Brahm
Holy water from Lourdes — “Another miracle!”
Content note: religious humour; alcohol
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
and the customs officer insisted on checking his bags and he said he had nothing to declare but when they opened his bags they found out these two bottles inside what is what are those bottles he just said oh they're just he'd been on on pilgrimage to lords that uh holy site in france he was a catholic okay i have could i finish a joke yeah better be the catholic holy side of lords and they say well what's in the bottles they said just holy water and he took them out but look at the label johnny walker he said well i've got to put him in something i just happen to have these old bottles of whiskey and i just pour the water in there there's any way you can transport it and the customs officers they're not very believe they don't have much trust in human beings so he said well i'll take him out let's let's open it up and see what's inside when he opened it up is it this isn't water this is whiskey smell it for yourself and the traveler smelt it and he said why my goodness that is whiskey another miracle
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 0:01 (to 1:18)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
A pilgrim swore his whisky bottles held holy water from Lourdes, and when customs found whisky, he cried: another miracle! Ajahn Brahm uses the laugh to open a talk on perception. Our habits of seeing are often tilted towards the negative. Look again, and much of life is more pleasant than we thought.
In brief (our summary)
Returning from pilgrimage to Lourdes, a Catholic traveller's bags contain two Johnnie Walker bottles; he insists it's holy water carried in old whisky bottles. The sceptical customs officer opens one: “This isn't water, it's whiskey — smell it.” The traveller sniffs: “My goodness, that is whiskey — another miracle!”
Teaching point
(Opening joke before a talk on perception.)
When this story may help
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in Positive Perspective and Acceptance | Ajahn Brahm | 3 June 2022 · 2022-06-03 · ▶ watch from 0:01 to 1:18 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
1 other telling of this story
- Sex and Booze | Ajahn Brahm | 01-07-2011 · 2011-07-05 · ▶ watch from 4:08 to 5:36 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia2011 telling: set at Perth Airport's green channel; one Johnny Walker bottle 'for my old grandmother'; followed by the claim that holy water is a prohibited import into Australia.
Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'lords' = Lourdes (not changed).
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version