Story · Ajahn Brahm
Hands behind their backs
Content note: underage smoking
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
for one year I was a school teacher. I remember just having a big conflict inside of myself. Should I sort of discipline those children in this school for doing things which I would have done only two or three years earlier? I remember these kids coming down, it was a nice day and I went for a walk down this lane in this uh summer time and lay off and then I saw it was lunchtime in the county of Devon. It was a beautiful day. I went down a lane and I saw a couple of the sixth formers when I was grade 12 or probably this uh the equivalent of the first year at university in Australia coming down the road. And as soon as they saw me, a teacher, their hands went behind their back. I know what that was was cuz that's what I used to do. That's when you're smoking and you're trying to hide a cigarette. A dead giveaway. And it was a narrow lane, they couldn't miss me and they couldn't turn around, so they were very, very embarrassed. And I I told them, "Look, that's not the way to hide a cigarette." But there's no way I would discipline those kids, even though it was against the school rules, because I felt being a hypocrite. I was rebelling against those rules. So why should I sort of impose those rules on others?
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 7:38 (to 8:47)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
Two sixth-formers in a Devon lane put their hands behind their backs, the classic hidden cigarette. The young teacher only told them that wasn't how to hide one. He'd broken the same rules himself. Parents, partners and bosses all face this dilemma. Notice how much control is really arrogance, and give people some room.
In brief (our summary)
In his one year as a schoolteacher in Devon, walking down a narrow lane at lunchtime, he meets two sixth-formers whose hands go behind their backs — the dead giveaway of a hidden cigarette, as he used to do. Trapped and embarrassed, they wait; he just tells them 'that's not the way to hide a cigarette' and doesn't discipline them, unwilling to be a hypocrite about rules he himself had rebelled against.
Teaching point
The dilemma of authority: how much to control and how much to set free.
When this story may help
- parenting teenagers
- being in authority
- enforcing rules
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in Control and Freedom | Ajahn Brahm | 05-01-2007 · 2007-01-12 · ▶ watch from 7:38 to 8:47 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version