Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

Hawaiian shirts at funerals

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Different perspective on empathy | Ajahn Brahm | 15 Jul 2016

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

when I first started doing funeral services here in Perth people were always in Black okay now that this some people have white but I want Funeral Directors to start wearing Hawaiian shirts a nice nice dresses or nice clothes not all this miserable stuff which actually makes people more and more depressed because uh to cry cases I've seen kids and kids are great teachers for me children come into these funerals playing around being naughty like children should be and they're full of life and joy and happiness and then they see everybody else just black wearing black and their faces look sort of black as well and these little kids full of life you can see just the the joy of life just go out of them

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 9:20 (to 10:18)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

At early Perth funerals, everyone wore black, and Ajahn Brahm watched lively children learn sadness from their parents' faces. He'd rather see funeral directors in Hawaiian shirts. Once a coffin, loaded with ornaments, jammed halfway into the grave while he chanted on. Grief is real, but a funeral can also celebrate a life, even laugh.

In brief (our summary)

Early Perth funerals are all black; he wants funeral directors in Hawaiian shirts — kids arrive full of life then learn sadness from black clothes and faces.

Teaching point

Empathy at a funeral need not dress itself in more darkness.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Different perspective on empathy | Ajahn Brahm | 15 Jul 2016 · 2016-07-15 · ▶ watch from 9:20 to 10:18 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

1 other telling of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • “I can't understand Thai ghosts”

    In brief: At an open-air cremation in Thailand (of Ajahn Chah's brother, he thinks) all the monks leave as soon as the chanting ends. The young…

    Read full story

    When I remember I just went uh Ajahn Chah's I think his brother died when I first went up to to Thailand and they did this open cremation. And so, it's after they they had all the monks around the fire and we all did the chanting and as soon as we could, all the monks left. Then afterwards, I said, "Oh, I'm just going to go by the fire." They said, "You go by the fire?" I said, "Yeah." They said, "Alone?" I said, "Yeah." "Aren't you afraid of the ghosts?" I said, "No, I'm not afraid of the ghosts. I can't understand Thai." Cuz even if the ghost goes something in Thai, I don't know what they're talking about. So, what's the point of being afraid? Is that the case that Thai ghosts only speak in Thai? And Sri Lankans only in Sinhalese? So, if it's a Western ghost and you don't understand English, you've got nothing to worry about

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The only one who knew the answer

    In brief: A boy tells his dad he was the only one in class who knew the right answer today. Surprised — usually it's detention — the proud father…

    Read full story

    Of course it's a joke about the kid who came home from school and he told, his dad said, “How did you go at school today, Son?” and his son said, “Dad,today teacher asked a question, “and I was the only one in class who knew the right answer,” and the father was both surprised and impressed, say, “Usually you get detention, usually you get extra homework, “just how come today, you know, you did so well?” and he said, “Oh well, I just knew the right answer, Dad.” Dad said, “I'm so proud of you,” and gave him a $20 note as a reward, trying to encourage him to be smart in the future. So as the kid took the $20 and walked out of the room, the dad said, “Oh, by the way, what question did your teacher ask?” “Who broke the window in the classroom?”

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The bikies' funeral

    In brief: A young bikie hits a lamp post and dies; his Buddhist mother asks Ajahn Brahm to support her, and he ends up conducting the funeral in…

    Read full story

    I remember going to a funeral service. I mentioned this because I was at a funeral service over in Freo um last Wednesday and it was for a bikey funeral. You know, it was real bikes. One of their members had hit a lamp post and died. And the m their mother was a Buddhist and invited me to come to the funeral to, you know, support her. In the end, I ended up doing the funeral service. One of the best funerals I've ever done cuz no bikes. They came in all their leathers and chains and whatever else they had on. and all their their girlfriends again came as if they were going to a dance or a nightclub, not a funeral. They're all dressed up. That was their culture. But I looked a bit weird as well to them cuz I was dressed in brown. And I ended up doing the funeral service. But there was so I always remember it because after the funeral service was concluded, they all came up to me, nice service, sir. Thank you for that, sir. They were just so polite. It totally changed my idea of a, you know, bikey just I was on their side that day

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The man who attended his own funeral

    In brief: A terminally ill man in the United States decides to hold his funeral service a week or two before he dies, so he can be there to hear the…

    Read full story

    that gentleman in the United States who decided okay this is a bit of a pattern but here it comes decided to think outside the box decided to have his funeral service when he was still alive just a week or two before he died what a wonderful thing to do now his death was gonna happen you know it was predicted and one was unstoppable some disease we decided a week or two before his demise to hold his funeral service so he could be there and listen to the effect which he had had on other people's lives and he could be there to listen so what a great idea that would be but he also said that is also he could see a she who turned up for his funeral what he still had time to adjust the will

    Open story page·Watch this telling

All stories·Find a story for your situation