Goat for dinner

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• Telling the kids what their dad got up to

  In brief: Visiting his brother, Ajahn Brahm tells his young nephew and niece about all the naughty things their father did at their age; fascinated,…

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  I did that to my brother once I was visiting him he had you know a son and a daughter they're about you know six and eight or something and I still my brother was doing something else in his house and I started talking about to my nephew and niece what my brother got up to when he was their age all the naughty things he did and they were really fascinated tell us some more about our dad because he never tells us that foreign and then he came into the room he said what are you telling my children I've been doing all these years trying to teach them not to do those things which he did himself and I knew because I was there at the time

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• 'Now I've got you exactly where I want you'

  In brief: A monk visiting his family in Chicago slips on the ice and breaks his leg. When his mother comes into the hospital room, he has never seen…

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  Like one of these monks, he was visiting his family over in Chicago years ago. I know Chicago is can be really cold, very windy, and when it does get icy, it's very, very slippy in Chicago. He slipped over and he did broke his leg, break his leg. And he told me afterwards he was taken to hospital with a broken leg. And of course, you know, they contacted his mother who lived in Chicago. And when she came into the room to see her son with a broken leg, he told me he never seen his mother smile so much. She was so happy. How can you be happy when your son's in pain and broken his leg? And she said, "Now, son, I've got you exactly where I want you. You can't go back to Thailand and and become a monk or or Sri Lanka and just disappear in some cave somewhere. You're in the hospital. You can't go anywhere. Now, I'm going to mother you whether you like it or not.

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• Father and son who couldn't remember why

  In brief: Blessing a house in Brisbane, Ajahn Brahm learns the father and his eldest son haven't spoken or seen each other for seven years. He has…

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  there is a gentleman who was visiting our monastery in Serpentine and he insisted on taking me to the airport. And the reason was that he was from Brisbane if you are listening ... you are a hero for me and he thinks I am just the Bee's Knees because three years ago I went to his house in Brisbane and a little ceremony part of the job of a monk - bless this, bless that. You name it, I've blessed it. One of the reasons, it just give people a bit of encouragement in their lives. So I went to his house, his youngest son was there but his eldest son was absent. And I asked where is he? And the youngest son said "he hadn't talked.." the father and the son hadn't talked together for seven years. They have't even seen each other for seven years. They have been estranged. That really sort of hurts my heart, I believe hurts your heart. It's called compassion, you got empathy, you feel for people. How can a father and son be apart for seven years! Never sending any Birthday Cards or Christmas Cards or telephone calls or anything. But I know I do have some authority. I am a senior monk, I am well known and some people actually afraid of me! They are! Now there is no reason for you to be afraid of me I am a very gentle monk. Going off track I can never forget the silly thing I did once when I was visiting my mother in London years ago when she was still alive. I went to visit her and staying in her house. She was making my 'one meal a day' in the morning for me. Now that's very important. If you only eat one meal a day you got only one chance every day you got to make sure it hits the spot. So when somebody rang her door bell I volunteered to answer it so my lunch would not be spoiled. Totally selfish. I went to the door and it was a type of person, anyone from may be the UK might know this, they call them gypsies. They are itinerant people who had been in that country for 100s of years. But they decided, they do not wish to live in permanent houses. They usually live in caravans going from place to place. Good on them, if they want to live like that. But they have a reputation for trying to solicit funds, doing silly things. So it was one of these women, she knocked on the door. She said "would you like to buy some gypsy heather?" Just weed basically. And I was very polite I said "no, thank you" And she said to me "If you don't buy some of this heather I would put a gypsy curse on you" it was a marketing technique. Now imagine somebody threatening to curse me. They didn't know who they were messing with. (laughter) I had my robe on but I stood up really tall in my robe. And I looked her in the eye and said "I am a very senior Buddhist Monk, my curse is a much stronger than yours." That's what I said I overdid it. Honestly, I really overdid it. Because that women, her eyes went wide, her jaw dropped she turned around and she actually ran! She ran away. (laughter) We never curse anybody but I do use that in case people mess with me, then I can always mess back. Because people have all these superstition Buddhist monks... what can they do they don't know, but they tried to mess with me so I messed up with them. I know I shouldn't have done that but actually I am quite happy I did. (laughter) Makes it a good story. So anyway, that's just how.... We don't curse, we really don't have curses but people don't know that. So at this house, I told the youngest son, "Have you got your brother's telephone number?" He said sure... "Call him right now!" So he got out his smart phone and called his older brother, the one who was estranged. Give the phone to me. And I said "I am Ajahn Brahm you know me?" "Yeah I know you, I listen to your talks on YouTube." I said "I command you to come to your father's house. You better come or else" and I hung the phone up. So this poor man, he hadn't seen his father for seven years, he was either coming to break that estrangement or risk the curse and bad kamma of not obeying a very senior monk. Of course there is no bad kamma there but people really don't know this. So yeah let's use whatever you got to solve the situation. So he came in but wouldn't look at his father, wouldn't talk to him. But first time in seven years in the same room. And I sat them down together looking this way not at each other. And I asked the father ... What an amazing thing, shows you how stupid people can be! What did your son do, seven years ago, you got so upset you don't even talk to him anymore or look at him? You know what he said? "I can't remember." (laughter) So I looked at the son, the eldest son "What did your father do?" "I can't remember either." (more laughter) Human beings. They are so lovable, they are so cute. Just stupid but lovable. So I said: "enough is enough, forgiveness time." I forget who did it first. I made them "Father look at your son. Son look at your father." I forget who did first. Say to your father: "Look at him and say for the first time in seven years, "Father whatever you've done by body, speech or mind, that irritated me whatever it was, really hurt me deeply I forgive you". And the other way around too. "Son whatever you have done I forgive you back". They reconciled. That's such a beautiful thing to do. All you needed was somehow or rather overcoming that pride. I am not going to forgive him he is got to ask forgiveness first and then OK. He is gonna make the first move and it's worth waiting till we die for the other person to make the first move. That's why a circuit breaker like a monk can actually do that.

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• The Singapore spirits helped the Ang Mo

  In brief: An English ex-army dental technician with a Singaporean wife visits the in-laws, gets bored, and is taken to the races. They clean a messy…

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  he was an English man he was in the British army he was just not fighter he was like a dental technician or something so you know pretty sort of easy job but he was posted off to Singapore when the British was still in Singapore and there met this nice girl and married her so he had a Singapore wife and they they moved down to Liv in Perth where they've been living for many years and he told me that once when he was visiting Singapore know with his wife's family and his wife was chatting nagnag nagnag and he got really bored you know talking about all this stuff you know what it's like know meeting you know your other partners uh your partner's family so well they were all sort of U walking and shouting and eating he was getting very bored and his brothers-in-law saw that and said look we're going to the racetrack this afternoon we'd like to come along and he never likes gambling or going to the RAC trck but there was much better than facing his wife's family so he said okay I'll go so they took him to the racetrack but this is Singapore no Chinese no Chinese Buddhists before you go to the RAC track you have to visit the lucky Temple so they went to a lucky Temple you know in the back streets of Singapore somewhere and as soon as I walked in it was a mess you know it was just ash everywhere papers and stuff so and this is an important part of this um process if you're going to be lucky you got to do some good karma first of all please remember that so if ever you go to the racetrack or the casino come to D Loa Center and do some sweeping or some weeding first of all otherwise you got no chance so he he went to the temple and they saw it a mess so they spent about half an hour or an hour cleaning the place up and once they clean the place up then you know know what those we call them jtic Buddhists you know in our tradition getting a few justics and no one actually knows why they do this they just do that cuz their grandmother did it and I don't know what it is it doesn't make any difference how much you shake these things but anyway they did the shake of the joysticks and they put it in the um in the uh the whatever it is the jostick holder and then they went over cuz we don't do this sort of stuff in the forest tradition is very simple and very rational we don't have all this Superstition stuff but nevertheless I know that um you know I don't know why this is where this came from and all these Lottery outlets in Perth you have these big fat Buddhas and you're supposed to rub tummy for luck don't what you do that for and sometimes I'm getting a bit fat now and sometimes people come up and they want to rub my belly no way anyway actually I did open a lot ofy store I'm just really going off the C because sometimes as a monk people friends say you know they're opening up a new business or going into a new house and sometimes it's part of the tradition you know come and invite a monk to actually um to bless a place so some time ago they said my friend that they're opening up a new shop in some shopping center better not tell you which one it is and so said okay yeah they never told me it was a lottery shop and we not supposed to get involved in these sorts of things as much you know we're supposed to tell people not to gamble and it's the Buddha actually said gambling is like um is an addiction it's the wrong thing to do but nevertheless I got caught that way and I was there just I should have asked what shop I was going to uh be blessing when one day people ask me to bless a pub or sometimes even worse if I don't ask but anyway I went into the place it was too late now so I did a bit a blessing but actually they a few weeks later they got a jackpot there so these blessings are really good but anyhow where was I oh was back in this Singapore Singapore so they cleaned up the temple and they did lots of good car and they went to the racetrack it's amazing you know the result they all lost but never this I had a bit of fun but that night that night this English man no a Singapore girl he had a dream and again one of these very clear dreams which you remember and so he woke up and the dream guess what it was he dreamt of a of a horse race you know seeing it his dream and he dreamt the horse which won the name of that horse this is true story he remembered that name when he woke up and just for interest look in the morning paper the straight times in the horse racing it was running that day exactly that name so the first thing he did you know being fair he rang up all his brothers-in-law and said hey that Temple which we blessed or we cleaned up the other day there must be some sort of heavenly being or some Spirit guarding the place cuz they told me the name of the the horse which is going to win today and it's in look this is the name it's in the Strait's times they're racing today let's all go to the race track we get our money back which we lost yesterday and make a bit more sounds reasonable but his brothers-in-law said listen so you're what we call an Ang Mo people are laughing here no that means like red that means like a Westerner like a foreigner in Singapore he said that was a Singapore Temple any Spirit there they would not tell one of you guys certainly not an English guy they would tell us we don't had any dreams so you just you you you're just imagining it they said so because they thought that a Singaporean like a Chinese Spirit would never never tell an English person they never went to the track he went alone and that horse won and he put a lot of money on it cuz he was convinced he Dre it and that horse ran and he made a lot of money what he lost yesterday was insignificant to what he what he won and the worst thing was that when he went home and he told his brothers hey that horse I told you about it won that day made a lot of money oh his brothers-in-law they were ropable they were so upset and angry

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