Joke · Ajahn Brahm
God didn't recognise him
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
This fellow, he could never find a partner, and he went to a psychologist, and a psychologist gave it to him straight and said, “Look at you, you know, number one, "you dress so out of fashion, you are so daggy, the way you dress.” So he said, “If you want to find a partner go to a tailor and get a really sharp suit “or something which is more fashionable. “Look at your hair, your hair is just all over the place, “and it's dirty and greasy too. Get a proper haircut.” "Now, look, teeth, the teeth are all crooked and stinky, “go to a good dentist, and just get your teeth “all straightened up and have some personal hygiene,” “and also, why not see if you could get a personality coach? “You know, to get yourself more charming.” He said, “That costs a huge amount of money,” "But it'd be worth it.” So he decided to follow the therapist’s advice, you know, it took a lot of money getting his teeth all fixed up and straightened, the personality coach to make him more positive and attractive, and, you know, a nice really expensive, you know, haircut, and really fancy clothes, and getting just really all prepared, he went out for the first time, and as he was going into a singles club to meet the love of his life he hoped, he was hit by a truck and killed. (laughter) When he went to heaven he was really upset, he said, “God why did you do that for? “You didn’t even give me a day after all that money and all that pain and stuff “getting myself all attractive.” And God said, “Well I didn't recognise you.”
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 31:40 (to 33:30)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
A lonely man spent a fortune on a new suit, haircut, teeth and personality, and was hit by a truck on his first night out; God hadn't recognised him. It's an old joke with a kind point. Remaking yourself to be loved can miss the mark. Learn to be at peace with who you are, alone or in company.
In brief (our summary)
A man who can't find a partner is told by a psychologist to get a sharp suit, a proper haircut, his teeth straightened and a personality coach. At huge cost he does it all. On his first night out, walking into a singles club, he's hit by a truck and killed. In heaven he complains: 'God, why did you do that? You didn't even give me a day!' God: 'Well, I didn't recognise you.'
Teaching point
Changing yourself to be loved can miss the point; be at peace with who you are.
When this story may help
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in How to Be Happy in Solitude | Ajahn Brahm | 1 February 2019 · 2019-02-01 · ▶ watch from 31:40 to 33:30 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
1 other telling of this story
- 独りでも幸せでいる方法 | アジャン・ブラム (Ajahn Brahm)2019年2月1日 · 2020-07-07 · ▶ watch from 31:40 to 33:31 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaFeb 2019: psychologist, sharp suit, haircut, dentist, personality coach; hit by a truck on the way into the singles club — God didn't recognise him.
Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version