Story · Ajahn Brahm
How many times should you forgive?
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
when I was asked at a concert in Singapore based on my book 'Open the door of your heart' when they said "How many times should you forgive?" People have hurt you again and again, "How many times, in Buddhism, should you forgive?" The answer is always: "One - more - time.
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 34:52 (to 35:12)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
Asked how many times a Buddhist should forgive someone who keeps hurting them, Ajahn Brahm answered: one more time. Forgiving isn't excusing or forgetting. It's refusing to let the hurt keep hurting you, and seeing something good in the other person. You can always forgive once more, and stay wise about it.
In brief (our summary)
At a Singapore concert based on his book, asked how many times in Buddhism you should forgive someone who hurts you again and again, he answers: 'One more time.'
Teaching point
Forgiveness is always available one more time; it is letting go, not excusing or forgetting.
When this story may help
- repeated hurt
- holding a grudge
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in Buddhism and Sects | Ajahn Brahm | 01-06-2007 · 2007-06-05 · ▶ watch from 34:52 to 35:12 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
2 other tellings of this story
- Real Life | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Jun 2016 · 2016-06-03 · ▶ watch from 57:49 to 58:46 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaJun 2016 Q&A telling: always forgive one more time; optional 'probation' framing for broken trust in a relationship.
- Kindness, Generosity and Forgiveness | Ajahn Brahm | 8 July 2022 · 2022-07-08 · ▶ watch from 1:08:00 to 1:08:27 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaJul 2022 telling: brief Q&A form — always one more time; sincere, no strings.
Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version