Stories about humour

Looking for a Buddhist story about humour? Here are 552 complete stories from talks by Ajahn Brahm. Each page has his own telling, a short reflection, and a link to the original talk.

• The kids throwing stones on Bunbury beach — In the early years in Australia, while Ajahn Brahm meditates on Bunbury beach, stones start…
• The kung fu pose — Walking from his mother's flat in Acton to give a talk at the Sri Lankan temple, Ajahn Brahm takes…
• The lawyer who tried to take it with him — A dying rich lawyer, sure he can find a loophole, has his wife stash suitcases of cash in the…
• The live eel in the birthday box — Growing up in Acton, West London, when jellied eels and mash were a craze, eight-year-old Peter…
• The lottery shop he blessed — Asked to bless a friend-of-a-friend's new small business, a busy Ajahn Brahm gives it his full…
• The man who attended his own funeral — A terminally ill man in the United States decides to hold his funeral service a week or two before…
• The man who shouted at the traffic lights — On a hot day on Leach Highway, Ajahn Brahm sits in the passenger seat with the window open. A foot…
• The matchbox on the head — A malnourished young monk in steamy north-east Thailand — sticky rice with a boiled frog, under…
• The maths graduate with almost no brain — Ajahn Brahm retells Professor John Lorber's case of a Sheffield University mathematics honours…
• The minister who never stopped talking — A king cannot get any business done because one minister talks on and on in every session. Walking…
• The monastery monkey and the cheeky visitor — Supporter frees a market-caged monkey into a forest monastery; it joins afternoon tea. Grateful to…
• The monk in the front seat of the bus — Thais believe a monk's good karma protects those behind him, so monks are seated at the front of…
• The monk nominated president of the progress association — The monk at the Albany temple, who makes an effort to connect with locals, joined the Elleker…
• The monk who fixed NASA's computer — NASA in Houston can't get a new multi-million-dollar supercomputer to work; experts flown in first…
• The monk who ordained seven times — In the Buddha's time a man becomes a monk but misses his wife, so he disrobes; as soon as he gets…
• The monk who stopped the bus by thinking — A forest monk visiting Ubon rides a bus for the first time and wonders how an engine works; as…
• The mosquitoes were my teachers — As a young monk in Thailand, Ajahn Brahm could not include mosquitoes in his loving-kindness…
• The most beautiful sound in the world — A Sydney trekker lost in the Himalayas shelters at an ancient monastery and at midnight hears the…
• The most beautiful thing in the toilet bowl — On one retreat Ajahn Brahm's mind is so still and full of energy that everything looks beautiful.…
• The mugged tax minister — A gunman orders a man to hand over all his money. “Look, I'm the Minister of Taxation.” — “Oh,…
• The Muslim woman who said 'oh…' — A young woman in hijab asks him to sign her book; she watches him on YouTube. As soon as he signs,…
• The naughtiest novice — Ajahn Chah, laughing, tells Ajahn Brahm about his naughtiest novice: an old monk slept so deeply…
• The naughty hour from three to four — As a young monk in a silent forest paradise (one car a week) he fights thoughts — including old…
• The NHS invitation — bad for my health — After an HR conference in London (business class, hotel, family visit paid), the UK National…
• The nun and the last pokie coin — After a UK retreat a famous Buddhist nun must eat before midday; the only place is next to a pub…
• The nun who hit the jackpot — Driving a famous Buddhist nun to Heathrow after a retreat, her driver puts spare coins in a pub…
• The odd-job man — The Dhammaloka subcommittee hire an odd-job man and give him ten jobs. He completes only jobs…
• The one-shoe thief — For weeks, people at the Friday-night talks kept losing shoes — but only ever one of a pair. Was…
• The only one who knew the answer — A boy tells his dad he was the only one in class who knew the right answer today. Surprised —…
• The ornamental hermit found in the pub — Someone showed Ajahn Brahm a book of oddities: in England, wealthy estate owners once made it…
• The orphan chicken that says quack — After years of the chicken-or-duck story, people sent him evidence: an orphaned chicken raised by…
• The PA system that wasn't plugged in — Teaching a retreat at Jhana Grove for Singaporean business people and engineers, the PA system…
• The parrot ordered whiskey — Passenger and parrot on a cut-price airline; attendant asks for drinks; parrot demands whiskey;…
• The past is un-effable — He coins a word-play: instead of 'ineffable' (too deep for words), the past is 'un-effable' — you…
• The patient monk's police escort — Asked what a patient monk does on a four-hour, 220 km drive from Bangkok airport to a retreat,…
• The penalty for perjury is less than for the truth — A man on trial for murder in New York, facing the electric chair, is caught lying under oath. The…
• The penguin funeral (“Freeze a jolly good fellow”) — Penguins grieve a dead friend, bury him in the ice and sing at the ceremony: “Freeze a jolly good…
• The PhD who was shown how to sweep — A PhD graduate can only find work sweeping floors in a supermarket and complains to the boss that…
• The Playboy at the traffic lights — On a 40-degree day in the old Kombi with the windows down, young men in the next car on Leach…
• The politician who talked the walk — On a free afternoon in Singapore, Ajahn Brahm takes his followers to a charity walk raising funds…
• The Pope, the Archbishop and the putt — The Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury settle church unity with 18 holes of golf. On the last…
• The prankster ghost and the three leaves — Two young English friends share a house in Perth; one dies young of cancer, promising to come back…
• The premier who opened the jail — Visiting Canning Vale prison, Ajahn Brahm saw the plaque at the entrance: the prison had been…
• The priest who checked heaven and hell by train — A wealthy philosophy professor asks a priest whether virtuous non-Christians (Buddha, Socrates,…
• The professor examined on his own textbook — A visiting US professor of psychiatry coming to lecture at Sydney University must first pass an…
• The professor who ate the menu — A philosophy professor waits two months for a table at an exclusive restaurant, is handed a…
• The psychiatric team's flat battery — Several years ago a woman arrived one evening at Bodhinyana still wearing a hospital wristband…
• The punk and the old man — On a New York train a punk with multi-coloured spikes, razor-blade earrings and piercings snaps at…
• The ranger's spot check hit a fire drill — After a bushfire-era Fire and Emergency Service certificate (Mitchell Roberts presenting), a shire…
• The really dirty monk — Covered in concrete, Ajahn Brahm is asked by a well-dressed visitor where the abbot is; he sends…
• The Rottweilers weren't chained — Visiting a house, he's told not to worry about the two Rottweilers — they're chained up — so he…
• The runaway car at Byford — Years ago, while Ajahn Brahm and a driver queue in the Byford post office, someone asks whose car…
• The sandflies weren't in the brochure — Invited to teach in New Zealand, Ajahn Brahm gets a brochure of Alpine mountains and placid lakes…
• The Singapore spirits helped the Ang Mo — An English ex-army dental technician with a Singaporean wife visits the in-laws, gets bored, and…
• The Singaporean monk, the snake book, and the witch doctor — Singaporean monk in NE Thailand asks for the snake book — to identify the snake that just bit him.…
• The slingshot and the gong — Sitting with Ajahn Chah, with no clock and his legs aching after what must have been over an hour,…
• The sniffer dog at Perth Airport — Back from an early trip to Sri Lanka, his robe smelling of spices and curries, Ajahn Brahm queues…
• The Spitfire engine in the old bomb — A monk's mate in England fits a Spitfire aircraft engine into an old car. On the motorway he…
• The squirrel on the psychiatrist's couch — A cartoon sent to the monastery: a squirrel on a psychiatrist's couch explains why it came — when…
• The stolen Harley on the wrong level — An early member owns almost nothing except his prized Harley-Davidson. In a Sydney shopping centre…
• The storm that waited for the ceremony — For the Buddhist Society of Western Australia's 30th anniversary Vesak ceremony in Perth's Supreme…
• The suggestion box at Barre — A well-funded meditation centre in Barre, Massachusetts — one of the first places for meditation…
• The suicidal spider — eight webs smashed — Mindful spider builds a perfect first web; broom smashes it. Second, third… eight houses…
• The supermodel was annoyed they photographed the monk — On a Kuala Lumpur retreat a famous Malaysian supermodel grew fed up that at the end nobody wanted…
• The Thai dancers and the sprinklers — At a big Jhana Grove ceremony, Thai dancers in full costume were performing on the grass when the…
• The Theravada–Mahayana boat race — On a sightseeing trip at a conference in Vietnam, rowing through lakes and tunnels, Ajahn Brahm…
• The three rings of marriage — Wedding joke: the three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring — and the…
• The tiger that was a mouse — Meditating alone at night deep in the Thai jungle, Ajahn Brahm hears rustling. As a…
• The toilet frame with no hole — For Western visitors, the monastery made a sitting frame to place over squat toilets. An…
• The tourist whose car Bill Gates fixed — Remote northern California: a tourist's car fails with no mobile coverage; a farmer stops and…
• The tsunami ghost who gave a phone number — Three days after the 2004 tsunami, a Thai woman in Krabi dreams of a battered English girl from…
• The TV star he didn't recognise — Teaching a small meditation class in Double Bay, Sydney, Ajahn Brahm notices a woman at the back…
• The two sisters: one with a husband, one without — Two Thai sisters come for counselling. The elder can't stand her Australian husband and is…
• The unidentified flying monk — A famous monk in the north of Thailand became famous because a Thai Air Force fighter pilot,…
• The wedding without rings — At a Yanchep wedding, celebrant Dennis is about to pronounce the couple husband and wife when…
• The wife who came back for the will — A Thai woman who never trusted her Chinese husband asks Ajahn Brahm to do her funeral and pay for…
• The wine gums — One Christmas when Ajahn Brahm was a young monk, four (now famous, unnamed) Canadian monks receive…
• The woman who refused to go back — A woman who dies on the operating table meets a spirit telling her it isn't her time; she refuses…
• The woman who swapped seats to talk — Exhausted on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Perth, Ajahn Brahm sits by the window. A woman asks if…
• The worm that wanted its chocolate bar — A man with intestinal worms chooses the 'natural' treatment: every day for a week, at exactly…
• The worst procedure in the ward — In a Rockingham Hospital ward with three other men, they compare medical procedures to decide…
• Then cancel my husband's life insurance — A woman's house burns down; the insurer will only replace, not cut a cheque. She says she should…
• There are zombies in your retreat centre — At Jhana Grove a visiting child tells him there are zombies — retreatants doing very slow walking…
• There's a nasty bug going around — A man is punched, headbutted and stabbed on three successive days by a six-foot cockroach at his…
• They auctioned his robe in Melbourne — At a Melbourne fundraiser for a new monastery, Ven. Mudita (captioned Moodau), whom he had…
• They gave him a wrapped box of nothing — When people ask what gift he wants for his birthday, a few who got the message wrap an empty box;…
• They lost the plot (Guildford Cemetery) — After the joke about funeral directors who 'lost the plot', Ajahn Brahm recalls it really…
• They preferred the taller Islamic teacher — Multi-faith school visit: feedback says girls preferred the blond Western Islamic speaker — taller…
• “They're all Buddhists” — the expensive clinic — A very wealthy Kuala Lumpur businessman tells Ajahn Brahm he paid a fortune for therapy at a…
• This is not what I signed up for — Years earlier, midway through a two-hour Indonesian book-signing and photo queue, Ajahn Brahm…
• “This must be your dad” — At a wedding blessing Ajahn Brahm assumes the older man beside the young man is his father — and…
• Three months without looking at a girl — One of Ajahn Chah's own stories: as a lusty 18- or 19-year-old novice in a town monastery, he…
• Three smiling bodies in the morgue — A coroner explains three smiling corpses to a policeman: one died of a heart attack with his…
• Tickets sold faster than Lady Gaga's — In Medan, Indonesia, about 3–4,000 cheap tickets for Ajahn Brahm's talk sold out in ~30 minutes…
• Tiger's Nest climb — then a hot bath — Bhutan: climbs Tiger's Nest in thin air panting; hotel has a bath — usually too much indulgence…
• Time your anger — try to beat your record — A teacher tells someone who always gets angry: next time, put a clock in front of you and see how…
• Training dolphins, training husbands — From a psychology magazine: a PhD student studying how marine parks train dolphins — throw a fish…
• 'Trespassers will be converted' — To keep wanderers out of the quiet Jhana Grove retreat centre, the society knew 'Trespassers will…
• Twelve blessed strings for Sri Lanka — During a one-day match at the WACA, with Australia hammering Sri Lanka, young helpers come to…
• Twenty-six sheep — ten die — how many survive? — Math riddle: 26 sheep in a field, 10 die — how many survive? Not 16 — twenty sick sheep.