Stories about humour

Looking for a Buddhist story about humour? Here are 552 complete stories from talks by Ajahn Brahm. Each page has his own telling, a short reflection, and a link to the original talk.

• Two fingers to push up a smile — As a student, his meditation teacher tells him to smile at himself in the toilet mirror every…
• Two hours on Ajahn Chah instead of a car factory — Thaksin, then Prime Minister of Thailand, told Ajahn Brahm that a head of the Ford Motor Company…
• Two hours on Bunbury beach — With a free afternoon before teaching at Bunbury prison, Ajahn Brahm meditates for two hours, eyes…
• Two hours signing books in Jakarta — After a talk of four or five thousand in Jakarta, a huge line wants books signed and photos — two…
• Two monks argue about the fish tank — Waiting for lunch: one monk says fish tanks are prisons; the other says tanks protect fish from…
• Under a gynaecologist, and no pyjamas — On his last hospital stay, at Rockingham, Ajahn Brahm is admitted under a family-friend doctor who…
• 'Urinal for dogs' — When Ajahn Brahm was a young monk, the town of Ubon had too few public toilets, and tuk-tuk…
• Vomiting through the book signing — On an Indonesia tour Ajahn Brahm's stomach turns during a talk and the book-signing queue. He…
• Walking into the DMZ — During the brief Trump–Kim thaw, Ajahn Brahm joins a peace conference in South Korea. The senior…
• Watch out for falling rocks — A dying Comanche chief sends Geronimo and Fallen Rocks to hunt buffalo for 30 days; Geronimo…
• Waving from the stretch limo — A Buddhist family's first child, born with complications, dies after a few months despite the…
• 'We'll never forget you' — The day after giving a talk at Mercedes College, a girls' school next to the Catholic cathedral in…
• “We've never heard a talk in Sanskrit before” — A group visiting from Thailand asks for a talk in Thai, so Ajahn Brahm, fluent after years there,…
• Weeping at the grave of his wife's first husband — A man sobs at a grave in Karrakatta, “Why did you die?” Asked if it is his father or son, he says…
• “What day of the week is it?” — As a forest monk he lived without calendars or clocks and sometimes didn't know the month or year.…
• What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? — What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? 'Aye matey' (I'm eighty).
• What do people drink in England? Grey tea — Winter England gag: sky, buildings, coats all grey — punchline grey tea; stiff upper lip is just…
• What drug is he giving you? — A high-flying Sydney executive has to beg and grovel to her boss for time off for a nine-day…
• What fun does a monk have? None — Father's old joke: What fun does a monk have? None. Brahm still laughs — and insists monks…
• What is two plus two? — Three candidates for preselection in a safe Australian seat are asked the same question: what is 2…
• 'What prison were you in?' — When Ajahn Brahm's predecessor Ajahn Jagaro disrobed and applied for jobs in the United States,…
• “What type of chairman are you?” — At a Buddhist Society committee meeting an old chair collapses under a committee member; Ajahn…
• Where's the bog then? — Ajahn Brahm's Cambridge neighbour, a Yorkshireman from Leeds (he says 'from Ukraine' then…
• Who left the hammer out? — Newly abbot and very strict, Ajahn Brahm finds a donated hammer rusting in the grass at…
• Who sits next to God? — A man who went to church every Sunday, gave donations and kept the Ten Commandments dies and goes…
• Who's the beggar? — In India a rich man comes out of a temple and a beggar asks him for a donation. 'Go and get a…
• Why ants don't get COVID — Why don't ants get COVID? Because they've got antibodies.
• Why did the chewing gum cross the road? — Riddle he promised to try out: why did the piece of chewing gum cross the road? Because it was…
• “Why did you call me a …?” — the surgeon's outburst — A wealthy London woman with an expensive Harley Street surgeon dies for a few minutes on the…
• Why shoes stay outside Buddhist temples — Someone asked why people don't wear shoes in Buddhist temples. His answer: so if he tells a bad…
• Why some are born intelligent — From a sutta: a man asks the Buddha what karma makes people wealthy, then what makes them…
• Why the bride wears white — Wedding joke he tells at ceremonies: why does the bride wear white and the groom black? White is…
• Why you never see elephants in trees — A joke a man told him: why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're too good at…
• Worried he'd have to be abbot — When the 2004 tsunami hits, Ajahn Brahm is in Penang. His number-two monk back home hears that…
• Wrap yourself a gift of peace — For a birthday or anniversary, wrap an empty box carefully, put inside a paper that says 'peace —…
• Wrong cemetery, and a hearse with three heavy passengers — A former Sydney funeral director tells how hearses sometimes go to the wrong cemetery, and how on…
• Wrong Mrs Kaur — take her back — In Ven. Nibbūto's Sikh village, where men are Singh and women Kaur, an old lady is certified dead…
• Yeah, that's right — both monks and neither — Two monks argue whether rebirth matters; each separately gets 'yeah, that's right' from the abbot;…
• You can talk — I thought you were brain damaged — After Ajahn Chah left Perth, silent number-two monk Brahm gave his first Friday talk at Magnolia…
• 'You can't be any good then' — In the early days Ajahn Brahm answered the phone to a woman asking about that evening's meditation…
• You know when the Gurkha visited — your head falls off — Former Gurkha monk: you always know when a Gurkha visited in the night — you wake, shake your…
• “You must be the father-in-law!” — At a wedding of a young Thai bride and an Australian man, Ajahn Brahm greets the elderly…
• 'You ordained to forget' — Visiting Ajahn Juin, a famous old Thai monk at the top-hat-shaped mountain monastery Phu Tok,…
• “You're dressed like a girl. That's sick.” — While loading the overloaded Kombi van in North Perth in his first years in Australia, a…
• “You're either going to get better or you're going to die” — Seriously ill with typhus in a Ubon hospital with no night nurse, young Ajahn Brahm is overjoyed…
• 'You're not getting old, Ajahn — you're already old' — Ajahn Brahm told his monks he was getting old. A very kind Swiss monk said, with touching…
• “You're old enough to know better” — Walking in robes through Doncaster early one morning with Ajahn Sumedho, about 20 years his…
• You're the girl whose name I keep forgetting — When strangers ask 'Do you remember me?' after talks to hundreds or thousands, a joke-book escape:…
• You've demoted me — A sweet village woman finishes a Colombo meditation course and is certified a stream-winner…
• Your brother will snore — and so will you — A visiting monk's brother needs a bed; Brahm warns that sharing a room means the brother will…
• “Your meditation can't be that good” — At the Serpentine doctor's surgery a monk sees an advert for another meditation group and suggests…
• Zen and the Art of Shipping — At a transport forum (about clay trucks passing the monastery) a journalist interviews Ajahn Brahm…