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• Complaining about the wall

  In brief: Walking from his mother's flat in London to give a talk, Ajahn Brahm passed two young men waiting for a bus, sitting on a wall topped with…

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  when I was visiting my mother in London some years ago and I was just walking from her apartment to a temple to give a talk, and I passed these two young men waiting for a bus. And they were sitting on a wall. But unfortunately, the wall was not flat, it was round bricks on the top. And they were complaining: ‘They should not allow walls to be built like this, they should all be flat’. But my goodness! You can complain about anything, what's wrong with that? At least you've got somewhere to put your bum on, you don't have to stand! Yeah, it may not be flat, but it's good enough - what do you want, all the walls, the garden walls, to be upholstered with cushions and backrests for you? [laughter] But you find that even in an advanced country, you can always find some fault.

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• One sentence every seven years

  In brief: In a strict silent monastery a monk may say one sentence to the abbot every seven years. After seven years, the wise words he rehearsed…

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  This is an old joke about this man who joined a monastery, and as he joined this monastery, was a very strict monastery, where you weren't allowed to speak at all, its absolute silence except after seven years, you are allowed to say one sentence to the abbot, the idea was so he could have some idea of your spiritual progress. So this young man joined this very strict monastery. And after six years, 11 months and 30 days of absolute silence, you can imagine his excitement when the next morning he could say his first sentence to the abbot. So he decided to practice in his cell something wise, you know, to inspire his abbot, something very meaningful something, you know, like one saying you find in a book. And he practices this amazing wise saying, when he went into the abbot's room, his mind went totally blank, you know what it's like, and the words which came out was “the food in this place is terrible”. Now the point was he didn't have another chance to say a word, he'd had his sentence and he'd blown it and he felt so terrible! Now he has to wait another seven years. So 13 years 11 months and 30 days, now he had his second chance to say something, and this time he was more relaxed, you know, spiritual life had done something, he is more in control of himself. So he had a good night's sleep, really relaxed, rested and his wise words he was supposed to say seven years ago, he went to open his mouth and again he forgot and the words which came out he said “you make us work too hard.” Very good, said the abbot, come back in another seven years. He blown at the second time! And of course, after twenty-one years, now he was totally at ease and he went into the Abbot office, he said precisely what he intended to say, his one sentence was this: “can't stand this place any longer, I'm leaving.” And the abbot replied “very good because you've done nothing but complain ever since you came here.”

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• A problem or an irritation?

  In brief: A backpacker working his way round Europe gets a job in a restaurant (in Germany or Austria) where staff eat for free. The owner…

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  There's another story about Awitz which I remember reading a good story. There was a a backpacker who was traveling through Europe said travel is now becoming allowable again. when this backpacker was traveling through Europe, he'd just get a job at restaurants and cafes and just any old uh easy work to get a few more dollars and then he would go on his next leg of his journey. And he got a job in this restaurant in somewhere in Germany. And then as he was um I think in Austria I think he said in that restaurant [snorts] it was always known if you get a job in a restaurant you get free food. That's you know part of the deal. You don't get paid very much. You get a few tips but the free food makes it just really quite worthwhile. But then one day the owner of the restaurant told all the workers he'd ordered too much sauerkraut. I don't know if you know Sauerkraut. We have a couple of German monks at Bodhinana Monastery and even though he's not a monk, we have like you know I'm talking about Amandis. Many of you been down there. You know Amandis and he loves sauerkraut. So anyway, they' ordered too much sauerkraut. And so the owner of the restaurant, this is quite a few years ago, told everybody, "If you want free food, it has to be sauerkraut. Sauerkraut for breakfast, sauerkraut for lunch, sauerkraut for dinner, whatever it is. Sauerkraut and only sauerkraut." And this young backpacker said, "You can't do that to us. That is unfair. That's not what we signed up for. I know some people like sauerkraut, but not everyone likes sauerkraut. This is not right. you can't do this to us. And he got very angry. And that apparently was when the owner, not the owner, the cook of the restaurant came up and took him aside. He said, "Look, I've been working at this restaurant for quite a few years now." Said this old man. And he said, "I want to tell you the difference between a problem and an irritation. And then this old cook, he bared his arm and you could see the tattooed numbers on his arm. He said I was in Awitz and he said every morning when I woke up I didn't know whether I would survive that day. I was very fortunate many of my relations and friends and loved ones did die. I survived living in Awitz. That is a problem. Eating sauerkraut is only an imitation.

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• “If my daughter didn't have those faults…”

  In brief: A newly married man tells his father-in-law that everything his bride does is charming — even how she cleans wax from her ear. The…

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  There's one of those great stories that a person who got married and used to say as the father in-law took the daughter-in-law...no the father-in-law took his new son-in-law aside, so you probably love my, my daughter very much. Yes I've just married her, she's beautiful, she's charming, she's wonderful, even the way she puts her finger in her ear to get the wax out is charming. And he said that's what it's like when you get married, everything you do is just loveable. And the father-in-law said but in one or two years time you'll start to see the faults and defects in my daughter but please son-in-law always remember this, always remember if my daughter did not have those faults to begin with, she'd have married someone much better than you.

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