The runaway car at Byford

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• Engine running in Northbridge

  In brief: On a day out on business, a driver takes Ajahn Brahm to a Northbridge shop for 'the best pies in Perth' (just okay, he says — the only…

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  he decided to take me into this little shop in Northbridge, in Newcastle Street, which sold, he said, the best pies in Perth. So he took me in there, and just after it was it was okay pie, not that great, but you know, it was good enough. I'm very easy to please. The only pies I don't like are magpies. Don't [laughter] eat them. No, they're okay, little magpies. But anyway, that was a joke, by the way. Pies, okay. So anyway, the There I was uh uh After we After we finished the meal, then the driver, he couldn't find the keys to the car. He said, "Where are they?" And so we I really can't find them. So we decided now to retrace our steps, go to the car to see if he dropped them somewhere. You know what had happened? When I got to the car first, the car doors were open. The engine was running cuz the keys were still in the ignition. This was in Northbridge. [laughter] And I don't know what it is. Sometimes if a thief had gone past, he thought, "This can't be happening. This can't be real. No one This must be a trick. This must be a trap." Because who would leave the car doors open for about half an hour, probably a bit longer, half an hour with the keys in ignition and the engine running? [laughter] In Northbridge.

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• Can I have a pineapple, please?

  In brief: At poor Wat Pah Pong, requisites were kept in a big water jar and you asked Ajahn Chah for what you needed. Needing soap, the new monk…

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  And of course, you know, the first time I learnt the Thai language, many of the Thai people know this story. That very early days in Thailand, all the monasteries were very poor. Wat Pah Pong where Ajahn Chah lived when I first went was really poor. So whenever you got anything, they had a big water jar. And you just put those things in the water jar, maybe toothpaste or toothbrushes, or anything you needed, like a towel. And so if you needed something, you just go and ask Ajahn Chah and say, "I need some toothpaste" and he just look inside there and said, "There is some. " and just give it to you. So this time I needed some soap, obviously you know to wash. But you had to ask in Thai so you know my Thai was not that good. So, the word for "soap" is S̄bū̀, not "S̄ạbpard". It's hardly any differences there, "S̄ạbpard" ,"S̄bū̀" but apparently "S̄ạbpard" means pineapple. So, I asked my great master, "Can I have a pineapple, please?" [laughter] And he said to me, he's very kind, he said, "What do you want the pineapple for?" I said, "To wash!" He never let me forget that. He said, "Oh, you know people in England, you know, they don't use soap like us. They are far more advanced, they use pineapples. [laughter] This Western culture is way ahead of ours."

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• Loose robes at the yacht club

  In brief: After a talk on Buddhism to Perth executives at a yacht/boat club, a woman who grew up in a Catholic convent tells Ajahn Brahm that his…

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  I went to give a talk over in quarry I think it's one of the boat clubs there though or yacht clubs and a little restaurant nearness is one of these talks I love going to talks to places I've never been before and it's one of the interesting things about being among you get all over the place and this was a group of executives you know executives in Perth who met her once a month in this know your club had dinner and wine and all sorts of other stuff that never gave me anything good job because I can't eat it or drink it but it was after the talk I gave Ono and Buddhism and sort of attitudes we have I was a member of this executive came up after with me and said yeah I was listening to what you said it's very interesting and important but what I really noticed is your robes and just how loose they went how they keep falling off and he said she said I take that as a symbol of Buddhism because she said she was brought up in a Catholic convent where the nuns there were just so tight nothing ever fell off and he said it was just so strict and so tight there was no freedom there there's no relaxation no ease if something went wrong like something fell off you can't do that that's wrong but she saw me in this very loose robe with things falling off that's Buddhism and I easy comfortable and if things fall off we learn from that we accept that we just put it up again finish what's the problem but if you feel guilty I'll be the monk for 36 years and I still can't keep my robe on when I give a talk you hopeless hopeless hopeless

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• The deliberate mistake on the blackboard

  In brief: School maths teacher, caught in an error on the blackboard, claims he put it there on purpose to check the class was paying attention —…

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  Blackboard and we pointed out that's wrong you know he made a mistake they said exactly I put that on there on purpose to make sure you were all paying attention you know that the deliberate mistake to keep you all awake

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