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Joke · Ajahn Brahm

The worm that wanted its chocolate bar

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Dealing with addictions | by Ajahn Brahm | 19 June 2015

1 min read

Content note: toilet humour

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Because there was this poor man who had intestinal worms. And he went to see the doctor and the doctor said: ‘Well, there's two treatments, it’s the chemical pills, the medication’ – he said: ‘I don't like these modern chemicals, I don't trust them, they do terrible things to the body’ – ‘So we got the natural way’ – ‘So I'll have the natural way’. So it's a bit uncomfortable, but it always works 100%. ‘I'll take the natural way’, he said. ‘Ok, well, every day, for the next week, exactly at noon, 12:00 noon precisely, I want you to put a suppository, up your backside, of a mini cheese sandwich. [laughter] And five minutes later, put another suppository: a mini chocolate bar. And do that for seven days and come back for your next appointment one week from today at 11:45.’ He did that, very uncomfortable, a bit embarrassing, but he followed the orders. When he went back for his next appointment, he said: ‘I can still feel the worms inside, you know, it didn't work!’ He said: ‘This is the last part of the treatment.’ And so, you know, trousers down, on the bench, and then the doctor put, exactly at twelve noon, another cheese sandwich suppository up his backside and then waited with a hammer. [laughter] Five past twelve, no chocolate bar. Ten past twelve, no chocolate bar. Quarter past twelve, this little head came out and the worm said: ‘Aaay, where's my chocolate bar?’ Whack! with a hammer, and that was the end of the worm.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 7:52 (to 9:38)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A worm hooked on its daily five-past-twelve chocolate bar poked its head out to complain, and met the doctor's hammer. A silly joke, Ajahn Brahm admits, but addictions do harm us. Once you see the habit, you can test it. Try going without for just a day, and see how strong its pull really is.

In brief (our summary)

A man with intestinal worms chooses the 'natural' treatment: every day for a week, at exactly noon, a cheese-sandwich suppository, and five minutes later a chocolate-bar one. At his next appointment, at 11:45, the doctor gives the cheese sandwich at noon and waits with a hammer. Five past, ten past — no chocolate bar. At quarter past a little head pops out: 'Where's my chocolate bar?' Whack.

Teaching point

Addiction kills — the worm was addicted to its 12:05 chocolate bar.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Dealing with addictions | by Ajahn Brahm | 19 June 2015 · 2015-06-22 · ▶ watch from 7:52 to 9:38 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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