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Story · Ajahn Brahm

The priest who checked heaven and hell by train

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011

6 min read

Content note: religious humour

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

an anecdote at the end of the sermon they asked a question it happened to be this new uh member of the congregation who was not only very wealthy but was also a philosophy professor at University and so when he put his hand up and said I want to ask a question the priest said okay you can ask it's not usually done and the question was this he said you just know taught you know from your Christian Bible that the only people who can go to heaven have to believe in Jesus and he said is that true because said the professor there' been these wonderful people such as you know such as the Buddha such as not Socrates he was a very wise and very virtuous man such as the uh the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius you know have you ever seen his contemplations of Marcus ofus is very inspiring stuff you know you got people even like new people like say Maham m Gandhi he didn't believe in Jesus he was a Hindu so what happens to them do they have to go to hell now the priest you know was very smart guy so he said well you it's a really big question and I don't think we got the time now to answer I'll tell you next week in my sermon it's one of the things I always do if in doubt procrastinate so usually you know as a priest you know they work very hard on a Sunday so Monday they have the day off it's rest relaxation day on Tuesday he went into his study you know got out all the books and tried to find an answer and it was a really good question he couldn't find an answer which would be suitable for a professor so he rang up his mate another sort of priest much older than him on Wednesday they made an appointment had coffee and discussed it and the priest said look this is too complicated for me too you better go and see the Archbishop so on Thursday went to see the Archbishop I so the Thursday the bishop and on Thursday went to see the bishop the bishop Bop said well you know this is something for the Archbishop not me so on Friday went to see the Archbishop and the Archbishop said actually you should go and see the Theologian you know these professors who live in universities they'll probably know the answer so on Saturday he went to see the Theologian the Theologian gave him an answer couldn't understand a word of it that's what theologians are like only other theologians can understand what they're saying so there he was Saturday night without an answer to following day he'd have to front up you know to this uh Professor so he didn't sleep well that night in fact he was just very restless what was he going to say so he got up very early in the morning he did what he should have done to begin with he went into his church early in the morning and started praying and it was probably because he hadn't slept the night that he fell asleep fell asleep at the alter and as he was falling asleep he had one of these dreams these really Vivid dreams he was at a railway station and he sort of knew where that train on that platform was headed for but he asked you know the station gu said that train over there it wouldn't be going to heaven would it and the station guard said yes and seeing as you're a priest you can go up there half price so he got a half price ticket and he got on the train just like in dreams like time is really weird in no time at all the train appeared on this platform and he saw on the side of the platform the letters h e a v n it was Heaven he'd arrived so he got outside so he could actually ask his questions he searched around for a little while and so soon he found this man in this white robe with a little donut on top of his head and he said excuse me sir he said yes how can I help you he said now what's the name of this place he said it's Heaven welcome he said great now I want to ask you two questions he said of course ask he said how long you been up here and he said I've been up here hundreds of hundreds of years said this Angel he said great so you must know most people yeah I know most people up here how can I help you what's question number two he said look I want to know if these people are up here first of all there's this Indian guy the Buddha is he up here he said the Buddha never heard of the fellow what about Socrates this Greek guy very very smart very wise said no haven't heard of him either what about Marcus aelius no what about Vol this really funny guy volarus know his playright and philosopher said no what about Gandy just a new arrival haven't heard of that name either he said and the priest was So Satisfied he have his answer he'd got it right the Bible was correct so feeling self-satisfied he went back to the station to get the train back but he saw on another platform there was another train and he just wanted to make sure he knew where the other train was going to so he went to the station guard and said that train over there would be going to a place called hell he said yes that's where that one's going to so he brought a return ticket and he got on the train and in no time at all it arrived at this other station and he saw on the outside this big sign saying h e l l but he saw some balloons tied to the the station sign which was a bit strange and as soon as it got out he didn't need to seek anybody someone came right up to him and gave him a big hug welcome thank you for coming is anything we can get you to drink how about a nice cup of tea or do you want some orange juice or apple juice you don't just hold on a bit what about a sandwich you must be very tired sit down the fellow was so kind and compassionate said look look please please thank you so much for your kindness but you know what is this place it's hell welcome are you sure you don't want something to eat how about a pizza how about some fish and chips we've got some really nice fish and chips down here freshly fried no no no no look come please please I just want to ask you two questions how long you been down here I've been down here thousands of years he said great he said so you know most people oh yeah I know everyone up here there such nice people up here you know he said look look look look are there anybody down here call the Buddha oh the Buddha such a wise and compassionate being oh he's one of the most important people down here so what about Socrates oh yeah my goodness his wisdom is so deep Marcus aelius great poet voler such a funny guy we love going to his place what about what about Gandy a him he's just come here he's so well respected he's so peaceful and kind and the priest was actually quite happy he said look that's what I always believed in but there's something wrong cuz I always told that hell was a place of torment and tor culture where people are having a very tough time but you seem so happy and there's even balloons along the station what's up here and the a the hell being whatever you call him said oh well yes it used to be like that before the Buddha came down here

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 5:31 (to 13:28)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A priest dreamt that heaven had never heard of the Buddha, Socrates or Gandhi, while hell was full of balloons and laughter: it used to be awful, before the Buddha came down. A playful parable. Buildings don't make a temple, church or monastery; people do. Be the kind of person who brightens any place.

In brief (our summary)

A wealthy philosophy professor asks a priest whether virtuous non-Christians (Buddha, Socrates, Marcus Aurelius, Voltaire, Gandhi) must go to hell. The priest stalls a week, consults other clergy and a theologian, then falls asleep praying and dreams he takes a half-price train to HEAVN — none of those names are known there. A second train to HELL has balloons; a kind attendant says the Buddha, Socrates, Aurelius, Voltaire and Gandhi are all there and beloved — it used to be torment before the Buddha came down.

Teaching point

People make the place, not the place the people — and questioning is sacred.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011 · 2011-12-10 · ▶ watch from 5:31 to 13:28 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'Marcus ofus'/'aelius' = Aurelius; 'volarus'/'Voler' = Voltaire; 'Gandy' = Gandhi; 'HEAVN' missing 'E' as captioned; 'tor culture' = torture.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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