Your brother will snore — and so will you

Related stories

• Telling the kids what their dad got up to

  In brief: Visiting his brother, Ajahn Brahm tells his young nephew and niece about all the naughty things their father did at their age; fascinated,…

  Read full story▾▴

  I did that to my brother once I was visiting him he had you know a son and a daughter they're about you know six and eight or something and I still my brother was doing something else in his house and I started talking about to my nephew and niece what my brother got up to when he was their age all the naughty things he did and they were really fascinated tell us some more about our dad because he never tells us that foreign and then he came into the room he said what are you telling my children I've been doing all these years trying to teach them not to do those things which he did himself and I knew because I was there at the time

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• Six cooks talking, no one listening

  In brief: Passing the Serpentine monastery kitchen one morning, Ajahn Brahm notices six Thai ladies preparing the meal — all six with their mouths…

  Read full story▾▴

  One of the stories I often mention in my meditation retreats is a story of our monastery down Serpentine one day passing by the kitchen when people were making the meal for the morning there was I think six Thai Ladies there was only Thai Ladies this day it's the same when Sri Lankan women or men or anybody else is serving the food or making the food for us that particular day had to be six women in our kitchen and I noticed all six women had their mouths open talking There were only six in the kitchen if the six people were talking, I wondered who was left to do the listening And the answer was no one was doing the listening because everyone was busy doing the talking

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• The minister who never stopped talking

  In brief: A king cannot get any business done because one minister talks on and on in every session. Walking in his garden, the king sees a disabled…

  Read full story▾▴

  the first story is a story from an old text called the Dharma part Comm which I adapted for the book opening the door of your heart it's very rare I tell this story and that's a story of the politician you know how much politicians speak and actually met with minist of immigration this afternoon but he's a nice guy I got to say this in public because I wanted to do something for our visus so that's the first skillful speech always speak nice things about people in power always suck up to the boss in your office and you always do well in life but this Minister he was one of these people who would never shut up as soon as they started discussing something he would get up and he go on and on and on and on and on and no one could get a word in edge wise and you may know people like that either in your work or in your home people can just not shut up so in those days know the government was run by a king so the King was like the prime minister or the president and he was at his wits end trying to shut up this Minister and after one of these sessions you get nothing done cuz this guy goes on and on and on thinks he's he knows everything so he just went out for a walk in his garden and in the public part of his garden he saw a group of kids who are laughing and crappy so he went to investigate and there he saw there was a disabled man in a wheelchair and the kids were giving him money and what he was doing was the kids would point to a bush or a tree and this guy had this old toy called a peashooter I had a PE shooter when I was a kid it was like a tube and you put little peas in it and you blow them you know you know just usually the kids you didn't like to no it's only little sting it didn't really hurt I got enough pece blown at me it was just like a little game the kids would play but this guy he was so skilled now when you're disabled in one area you build up your schools in the other area they will point to a tree and say chicken and with his Peach should and every pee would take off a leaf and this is a way he would sculpt trees into like a chicken or like an elephant now you've been to these Gardens where people actually shape trees they sculpt trees into all these beautiful animals and he would do this with the peu and the kids were just so impressed by this they give him a few a few coins here a few coins there and that's how he actually got by in life by sculpting trees with a peashooter it was is disabled that's the only job he could do and when the king saw this he said he had an idea he had an Insight so he went up to this this disabled man with a peashooter and he whispered the words I can make you richer than your wildest dreams all you need to do is to help me he whispered to the the disabled men and disabled man yes yes yes yes yes yes and the following day the following day at the court at the parliament the king started to discuss something and as soon as the king opened his mouth this Minister started saying well in my opinion and I'm always right because I'm very wise and I've got so much experience and I've been here a long time and you should listen to me and this is how we should do it and we should do it this way and not that way and don't listen to these other guys I don't know what they're talking about and he kept going on like this but as soon as he opened his mouth he felt something go into his mouth he never noticed that in this Great Hall there was a new curtain on the wall and he didn't know what was behind that curtain and of course you all know what was behind that curtain but you know just a little thing entering his mouth that never stopped him he kept on talking and talking but every now and again some right in the back of his pallet and of course what' you do swallowed it down and carried on talking and he kept on talking and the longer he kept on talking the more he began to feel a little bit queasy cuz he didn't realize what was actually hitting his throat and going down into his stomach but he kept on talking and talking and talking until he felt really sick now some of these people know they just they so full of of what they want to say even when they're about to throw up they keep on talking and it was only was turning green and he couldn't actually do it anymore he couldn't Tik Tok anymore and he ran out from the hall totally green holding his hand over his mouth in case he uh something very awful came out and when he left the king burst out laughing and no one knew why and what had happened and then he went over to the curtain he opened the curtain there a disabled man with his peashooter and about most of his bag of ammunition was empty and the King held up the ammunition it wasn't peas it was chicken little pellets and for the last 15 or 20 minutes or half an hour with deadly accuracy this guy with a p had emptied half a bag of chicken down his Minister's gullet and apparently it worked a treat that that Min that Minister was absent for quite a few days and they got a lot of work done when this guy wasn't interrupting all the time and when he actually got better and he came back it was amazing just he would hardly speak at all and when he did speak he'd always put his hand over his mouth just in case

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• Twenty-six sheep — ten die — how many survive?

  In brief: Math riddle: 26 sheep in a field, 10 die — how many survive? Not 16 — twenty sick sheep.

  Read full story▾▴

  26 sheep in a field. 10 10 die. How many survive? 16. No, you're no good at math. Sorry, everybody fails this one. 26 sheep in the field, 10 die. How many survive? I'll say it again. Listen carefully. That's an important part of meditation. You got to be really mindful. 20 sick. Just keep my fault. So you can tell that to your math teacher when you go to school. Sick. Yeah, that's what I said. That's why they die. They were sick

  Open story page·Watch this telling