Who's the beggar?

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• The professor's overflowing cup

  In brief: Japan's greatest philosopher, whom no one will debate, decides to debate the most famous meditation monk. Serving tea, the monk keeps…

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  is in that old story of the famous philosopher in Japan many, many years ago. He was a professor not just at one university, but of several universities. And he was so well known. He was the biggest intellectual in the country. And just for a bit of fun, but also for a bit of intellectual stimulation, he would hold these debates with all the other philosophers, but he was so sharp, he was so knowledgeable, that no person would enter into a debate with him because he would always win. And so wondering who to debate next, he thought I will debate a Buddhist monk. They are said to be wise, but they're really stupid; he thought, I'll go and debate the most famous monk in the country and see who wins So he found this monk, this meditation monk and he arranged to have a debate with this monk. And so he went to the monastery with all of his students to debate with this monk, and being in Japan, before the debate actually started. It was the task of the host, the monk, to serve tea to the guest, the professor, and as he was serving tea to the professor, he poured the tea into the cup. And when the cup was full, he carried on pouring and so the water went into the saucer, at which point the professor said to the monk, "My cup is full, you can stop now". But, the monk carried on pouring until it went over to the cup into the saucer over the saucer onto the table, at which point, the Professor thought this monk must be a bit hard of hearing or a bit blind. So, he shouted, "Monk, my cup is full! You can stop now!" At which point, the monk smiled broadly and emptied the whole teapot until it went not just over the cup into the saucer, not just over the saucer onto the table, onto the floor as well! At which point, the professor said, "You stupid monk! I've come all this way to debate with you. And you don't even know how to serve a cup of tea. What an idiot, what a fraud. I wasted my whole time." At which point that monk said, if you haven't heard this story before, it's a great story. He said, "Professor, you are just like this cup. You're so full that no one can pour, any wisdom into you." At which point, the professor went down on his knees and said, "You've won."

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• The 'scatty' monk emptied his wallet at the refugee camp

  In brief: Proud young Brahm criticises a Thai monk for carrying money; the monk shares breakfast, takes him to a Lao refugee camp after the Vietnam…

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  scatty wag monk he has money he shouldn't have money he should be strict like I was because I was a very proud monk in those days and sometimes Pride leads to arrogance and because you're arrogant you tend to criticize others not really understanding what they're doing or why they're doing but then he was just so kind to me he sort of shared his breakfast with me and then he said you want to come to the refugee camp cuz this was just after the time of the Vietnam War and there was many laian refugees just close to his Temple and so I went there to visit and sure he had a wallet and it was full of cash but he literally turned it upside down and emptied it and just gave it to the the poor refu

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• The really dirty monk

  In brief: Covered in concrete, Ajahn Brahm is asked by a well-dressed visitor where the abbot is; he sends her to the hall, showers, then meets her…

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  Tell the story once with doing concrete work, when you do concrete work, even as a monk, you get it all splashed all over you. So you know just boys being boys, I'm still a boy you know, still just maybe a bit old to be a boy, but I still like getting myself all dirty. So I got all this concrete on top of me, as I was walking back to my hut to have a shower, I passed a Sri Lankan woman and she was in this really expensive sari, she was visiting the monastery. She came up to me and I'll never forget this, she said, "Uh... I've come to see the abbot Ajahn Brahm." I thought very quickly and I said, "Madam, if you go to the hall over there he'll probably be there in about fifteen minutes." That was enough time for me to go to my room, get a shower and get changed into some clean robes. So I went up to the hall, and there she was waiting, and I said, "Oh! I'm Ajahn Brahm," you know she never recognized me. That's how dirty I was. I gave her a nice talk, you know about the monastery and about Buddhism, what we're doing here and she was really impressed, so just before she left she said, "You know you've got a really good monastery, are you're a really good monk, but if you don't mind me saying this, I saw this really dirty monk when I came here and I think you should do something about that." I said, "I'll talk to him later, Ma'am". Which I did.

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• The 'fearless' monk on the burning bus

  In brief: During a spate of deadly bus fires in north-east Thailand, someone on Ajahn Brahm's bus shouts “fire!”; the driver leaps out the window…

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  In Thailand many years ago when I was there about five years as a monk, that all the buses in the Northeast were very old, 'cause they just tried to use them until they could literally not to run anymore, so they're very old buses. And it happened that one bus caught fire because it wasn't well maintained, and actually people got incinerated inside. I don't know why it was, but one bus after another, it was a whole spate of these buses suddenly catching fire. I know one of the monks I was practicing with in the monastery, he was actually on one those buses, he managed to get out but I think his bowl and his robes all got burnt in the fire and he got some compensation from the bus company. That's how dangerous it was. I was on one of these buses once. As a monk they always put you in the front seat, you know why that is, so that you can stop people having head-on collisions because you've got good kamma, you protect all the people around the back. But .... There was a fire in the back and they shouted out "fire, fire," and the bus driver slammed on the brakes, you almost went through the window but you managed to stop yourself, so he slammed on the brakes, and he was out the window himself. And all the people, they rushed out of the door. And it was actually another monk with me, now as a monk we're not supposed to get in contact with women, and nuns are not supposed to get in contact with men. So there were women on the bus, but this monk sitting next to me, he didn't mind, he was out. But I was a very well-behaved monk and let the other people go out first of all, you know I was brought up in England being a gentleman. [laughter] But most of the reason why I didn't get out was 'cause my Thai wasn't that good, I wondered what all the commotion was about, 'cause I didn't understand "fire," and I hadn't read the newspapers of how many people got killed. So I just sat there quite peacefully and actually I was... I wasn't the last one out, I was the second last one out because it was another man who lingered in the back, and he looked, there was only a small amount of smoke, and he shouted out to the other people, everyone was out except me and this guy, and he said, "It's only a cigarette, it's not a real fire, just cigarette smoke." So when people heard that, they put the cigarette out, and everyone started coming in, I was sitting in the front seat, and they said, "Oh, the saint, the arahant, the holy enlightened Western monk. Oh, you're so wonderful, you had no fear," not like that the other scalawag monk who ran out and touched all of us. [laughter] That was a wonderful moment for me but to be honest, I wasn't a hero I was just stupid 'cause I didn't know what was going on.

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