You've demoted me

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• “Whatever those monks are on, I want some”

  In brief: A past president of the Buddhist Society, Rachel Green, first came only to learn meditation for panic attacks and anxiety. Seeing the…

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  There's - one of our past presidents, she is not here this evening, so she was here about two or three weeks ago, that's Rachel Green. She won't mind me telling her name, because she wrote a little book about, her spiritual story. And the part which I like, well, I got to be honest, it was about me. And it's actually really about how she became a Buddhist. She was suffering from panic disorders and anxiety attacks. Like many of you know, if you actually come and do some meditation, it really helps overcome anxiety disorders and panic attacks. Meditation is a beautiful method of overcoming that. And many people know that, many people actually are sent by their GPs to places like this to learn meditation, so they can overcome their anxiety disorders and panic attacks - and it works very well. But anyway, she came along, just to learn some meditation to overcome her anxiety disorders, and then she saw these monks, and this is the Armadale group, always seem to be peaceful and happy. She wrote in her book, that when she first saw these guys, she thought they're just acting. Just a face you put on in public, and behind the scenes, you know you're just like anybody else - you know, grumpy, arrogant, selfish. So actually, she decided to try and visit our monasteries, and "check us out", to see whether this was real, or whether we're just faking it. And of course, now I really try hard to make everybody open, so you can come and see as many times, see us y'know, when we're off-guard, not in public, and hopefully, I think you'll probably see that as you see us now, is actually as we are at all times. When she saw that, she realized, "I don't know what those monks are on, but whatever they're on, I want some of it."

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• The matchbox on the head

  In brief: A malnourished young monk in steamy north-east Thailand — sticky rice with a boiled frog, under four and a half hours' sleep, up at 3 a.m.…

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  when I became a monk who was in the jungles of Northeast Thailand I was malnourished one meal a day sticky rice I was a vegetarian I sometimes sticky rice and a frog on top that's all we had sweet yeah for a boiled frog no garlic no sauce notice abortive glutinous sticky rice with a fork on top that was all the villagers had in fact they gave us the best Fox it was disgusting but I was malnourished and in the morning we would get up but we only supposed to meditate to sleep for hours and nights I could never get below four and a half so three o'clock in the morning will be up in the hall to meditate steamy jungles I was made in England I was not used to such hot weather such sticky weather malnourished not enough sleep of course I was sleepy so I had the tricks what we tried to do first of all no use effort didn't work so then I tried a matchbox you take the cover off the matchbox you put the tray on your head because it means if you start nodding you see the matchbox fall on the ground you'd hear it only about three or four days I'd overcome my slot and talker I could put the matchbox on my head for one hour meditate in the morning it never fell off at all amazing until one of my monks took me aside and said this is why the matchbox is not falling off you're still sleepy but instead of doing this you're doing this their mind is so sneaky and tricky so after a while I started contemplating look made in England I'm not used to that climate are not enough sleep not enough our food it's natural so I decided to let go when I let go there's not much energy in my mind so you are dull but you knew you adult and little by little just like when the Sun comes up in the morning and it had evaporates all the mists that burns off the mist because I wasn't wasting energy fighting my sleepiness but just letting it be being kind to it opening the door of my heartless my energy started coming back again him my back straightened up my head lifted up naturally and I was peaceful

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• The politician who talked the walk

  In brief: On a free afternoon in Singapore, Ajahn Brahm takes his followers to a charity walk raising funds for a fellow monk's indebted Buddhist…

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  that reminded me that i was in singapore many years ago and i did have a free afternoon i can't actually remember what they're like but had a free afternoon and i did hear that one of you know the fellow monks he was the the head of the buddhist library in singapore and they were in a lot of debt because they wanted to get a good center but you know it's very expensive and they were having to pay off that so i heard they were having a charity walk in the afternoon so all the people who were following me over in singapore i said if you feel this afternoon let's go and help somebody else let's do some some nice kindness and raise some funds for one of my mates so we all went over there and of course the head mark over there was very very surprised and very happy that i turned up and that's because i was well known over there i was also asked to give a little speech but before i gave the speech it was a politician gave a speech first they invited a politician to also to speak at this event and he said you know best of luck i really support this it's a good temple and all the best and then i asked him when i gave my talk i said are you actually going on the walk he said no no it's too important i just i'm just giving the speech i'm going to another event and so i told him he said you're one of the politicians who talks the walk but you don't walk your talk and he took it well

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• The slingshot and the gong

  In brief: Sitting with Ajahn Chah, with no clock and his legs aching after what must have been over an hour, the young Ajahn Brahm fantasises about…

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  when Ajahn Chah was my teacher and sometimes we would sit together, sometimes you'd be sitting there - I’m sure it's over an hour, it must have been over an hour, we didn't have a clock at the time). And then so, my legs were really hurting. So you know what I thought of doing? I told the monks this, and it's true, this is what I thought, but never had the guts to do it - to get what they call like a slingshot. And practice in the forest first, until I was a really good shot. And then, when the meditation was happening, I’d just open my eyes and I'd sling and hit the bell - ‘GONG’. [Laughter] ‘Oh, it's time to come out of meditation’. You know what it's like, sometimes you're having a really difficult time. And you’re just like ‘it can't be just, it must be more than half an hour, ring the gong!’ [laughter] And other times, oh you're having such a beautiful, peaceful meditation, everything is just so nice and joyful and blissed, all these great insights are coming, everything, and then - ‘GONG’ [laughter] Imagine that was the Buddha under the Bodhi tree just about to get enlightened, and I went - ‘GONG’. [laughter] Shut up.

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