Being Mindful Stories

Joke · Ajahn Brahm

Weeping at the grave of his wife's first husband

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Don't Be Disappointed | Ajahn Brahm | 29-01-2010

1 min read

Content note: marriage humour

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember this one story of disappointment which I read the other day about the person who was, they found him just in Karakatta and he was weeping over a grave. And he was just so disappointed. Why did you die? Why did you die? Why did you die? And someone came up to him and said, what's wrong? They saw it was a male grave, is that your son or your father? He said, no, I'm just so disappointed he died. Well, who was he? He said he was the husband of my present wife, the former husband that was. Why did you have to die? Why do you have to die?

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 3:54 (to 4:32)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A man sobs at the grave of his wife's first husband, wishing he hadn't died. It comes from a joke book, and it lands because we all know unrealistic hopes about marriage. Films and novels promise more than any partner can give. Expect a real human being rather than a romance, and you'll be pleasantly surprised far more often.

In brief (our summary)

A man sobs at a grave in Karrakatta, “Why did you die?” Asked if it is his father or son, he says no — it was his present wife's former husband.

Teaching point

Unrealistic expectations of relationships (fed by films and romance novels) open us to disappointment.

When this story may help

  • marriage difficulties
  • unrealistic expectations of a partner

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Don't Be Disappointed | Ajahn Brahm | 29-01-2010 · 2010-04-06 · ▶ watch from 3:54 to 4:32 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

1 other telling of this story

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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