“You're dressed like a girl. That's sick.”

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• Mistaken for a circus clown

  In brief: Walking with his cousin through Stoke-on-Trent one Sunday morning, robed Ajahn Brahm notices people pointing and laughing more than usual…

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  the other time when I was visiting a cousin Know that cousin eight. He came here to visit many years ago in stoke-on-trent. That's where he lived and so During their spending time with your loved ones with your friends, so instead of staying in here We meditate we went for a walk walk on a Sunday morning as a beautiful day walking down the streets And I don't know what it is about me must have some sort of charisma, but people were supporting at me and smiling and laughing And I just making people laugh as a great as a great skill But it was actually more people pointing and laughing at me than usual And so I didn't really want to know what was going on well You know one badly dressed or something or but no They were just laughing at me all the time and then when we turned a corner I found out why there's this big billboard a big sight the circus was in town And they thought I must have been one of the clowns And I did what make people happy is fine by me

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• Nasrudin at the archery stall: “That was me”

  In brief: Mulla Nasrudin takes his students to a fair and tries the archery stall. The first arrow falls short — “the shot of a hasty man”; the…

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  And there's one of these Sufi stories, Nasrudin stories, when - this was like a Mulla in Persia, before it was called Iran, many, many years ago. A great Sufi story. Now, in those days, any people of religion were very highly respected. You know, not so much these days. But they were like pillars of society. Now, this pillar of society, this great Mullah who was so respected in the community, decided to take his students to the fair for an outing. They had been meditating and studying and practicing so hard, "Let's give them a day out". So he took them to the fair. And at that fair there were many stalls. And one of the stalls was an archery stall. Just like the old coconut shys, but with bows and arrows. And if you managed to hit the target, the ball, you would get a prize. And so this Mulla Nasrudin said, "Yes, this looks easy enough. Give me a bow and three arrows!" And so he paid over, you know, a few dollars. And all his students were really surprised, because he was like a holy man. What does a holy man know about weapons like a bow and arrow? He said, "Oh, it's just concentration. Just mindfulness. That's all it is." "You know, I can do this!" So he put the first arrow in the bow. And everyone was really quite surprised. It's like if you give me a bow and arrow. I've never shot a bow and arrow in my life. You know, could the power of Samadhi, if Ajahn Brahm had a bow and arrow, how accurate would he be? And that's what they were thinking with this Mulla. And so he pulled the - put the bow - put the arrow in the bow - see, even I don't know which one goes in which - put the arrow in the bow and shot it, and it only went about halfway to the target. It didn't even, you know - not even miss it, it just didn't get there to miss it. And everybody started to giggle, because the guy was making a fool of himself. And people love it when people in authority make a fool of themselves. And then he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of a hasty man". And then he put his second arrow in the bow. And this time, he took more time. And he pulled that arrow further back as the wood of the bow stretched. And he shot the next arrow and it certainly made the distance, but went about, you know, a $2 train ride to the left. It missed it a long way. And people really started to guffaw. And he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of an arrogant man". And then he put his last and third arrow in the bow. Took his time, aimed and shot that. And that one went right in the middle of the bullseye. But as he claimed his prize, the relieved students said, "Well, if the first shot was the shot of a hasty man and the second was a shot of an arrogant man, what was the third shot?" And he said, "That was my shot. That was me.

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• Under a gynaecologist, and no pyjamas

  In brief: On his last hospital stay, at Rockingham, Ajahn Brahm is admitted under a family-friend doctor who is a gynaecologist — his bed sign…

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  That was about 26 years ago now. Yeah 26 years ago was the last time I went to hospital. It was in Rockingham Hospital. It's very interesting because the fellow who looked after me it's actually the secretary Gita's father. And he's a gynecologist. But because he knew me sort of he said oh let's… I'll take you in and I'll look after you. So, on the bed there was: Ajahn Brahm's doctor: dr Mendez, gynecologist. I do look weird enough wearing these robes. But being under a gynecologist, that was really cool. And all the nurses, “what, what are you?” good fun. But especially when you check in you know, you've got to check in first of all. The first question they asked me at the reception: “where's your pyjamas?” “monks don't have pajamas.” “but you've got to have pyjamas.” “but I don't have any!” “but you have to.” I said “listen. It's these robes or nothing. Take your choice.” and actually they let me wear my robes.

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• The celibate monk at the Gay Pride breakfast

  In brief: When the Sunday Telegraph quotes the Dalai Lama as saying you can't be both Buddhist and gay, Ajahn Brahm writes a letter to the paper…

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  I remember standing up for the gay community when an article appeared in the newspaper—it began in the Sunday Telegraph, which quoted the Dali Llama as saying you can't be a Buddhist and a gay at the same time. That's wrong. I can't allow that. So I wrote a letter to the newspaper and it got published. And I got some sort of comments, "you cannot criticise the Dali Llama", but you can criticise anybody, you can crticise me— I get it wrong sometimes. There's no person in this world who can't be criticised, and that's not being disrespectful— more important that the person is the truth, compassion. We don't worship people, we worship principles, so I stood up for the gay community and I was very happy. I got some comments back which were negative, but my reward for that was being invited to the Gay Pride breakfast. (LAUGHTER) I was very proud of that award. I always remember that—it was really good fun: rocking up to this Gay Pride breakfast and saying a few words—I remember what I said, I said, "In this whole meeting over here, you're all gay, but I'm more deviant than any one of you: I'm celibate.

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