Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

“What type of chairman are you?”

As told by Ajahn Brahm in How To Not Have Any Stress | Ajahn Brahm | 12 May 2017

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

because we were having a committee meeting a couple of years ago and he was sitting on one of these old chairs of the Buddhist society. I shouldn't really say this because occupational health and safety will probably fine us. He was sitting on one of the chairs and it collapsed. I said “what type of chair man are you?” He broke the chair instead of taking the chair.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 36:27 (to 36:55)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

An old chair gave way mid-meeting, and instead of an awkward silence the committee got a pun about the chairman who broke the chair. Small mishaps can embarrass us or become the bit everyone remembers fondly. If something collapses at your next meeting, check that everyone's fine, then let yourselves laugh.

In brief (our summary)

At a Buddhist Society committee meeting an old chair collapses under a committee member; Ajahn Brahm quips, “What type of chairman are you? He broke the chair instead of taking the chair.”

Teaching point

Celebrate mistakes and mishaps; they make meetings memorable.

When this story may help

  • embarrassing mishap
  • meetings

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in How To Not Have Any Stress | Ajahn Brahm | 12 May 2017 · 2017-05-12 · ▶ watch from 36:27 to 36:55 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • The toilet frame with no hole

    In brief: For Western visitors, the monastery made a sitting frame to place over squat toilets. An 18-year-old English visitor sits on a frame…

    Read full story

    I remember there was this one girl, this one girl came from England. She was like 18 or 19 years of age, came to visit our monastery. And you know the squat toilets we have in Asia where you squat down on them? So some people have a hard time squatting down on the toilets. You know, they fall over and that's not such a good thing when you want to go. So instead of actually down, we built, especially, out of compassion for all these visitors from places like England and Australia, we built like a frame so you can put it over the squat toilet and actually sit on it. You know, because most people use the squat toilet, so we just put this frame just to the side. And that's the toilet which this girl used. It just had no hole in the bottom. No water. It was only a frame. But she sat on it and did her business and it went all on the floor. [laughter]. Exactly! That's what you did. That's what Ajahn Chah did. That's what I did. I thought it was terribly funny. "Oh thank you for doing that. You gave me another story!

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • They lost the plot (Guildford Cemetery)

    In brief: After the joke about funeral directors who 'lost the plot', Ajahn Brahm recalls it really happening at Guildford Cemetery: walking ahead…

    Read full story

    I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite They lost the plot For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and As we're doing the procession from the gates and when they were going and just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • Wrong cemetery, and a hearse with three heavy passengers

    In brief: A former Sydney funeral director tells how hearses sometimes go to the wrong cemetery, and how on one body-collection run with three very…

    Read full story

    one of the friends over in Sydney He was a funeral director before and he said sometimes sometimes. They actually do Go to the wrong cemetery So you know they've got no two funerals one is they a Fremantle one is up in a row when they arrive there They should be a few at Fremantle. Yeah, you should be up in away Well that's when they had to collect the bodies You know it's it, and so just to be able to to get enough. You know to make it worthwhile They had had to be three three bodies in the back of the hearse one So just taking it to the funeral parlor not there to the funeral well They took it there know some of the people you know a bit sort of you know just overweight and had three really heavy people and so the poor hearse It was actually so heavy in the back the metal of the front back bumper was actually scraping on the bitumen And you can't actually stop and unload somebody and pick him up later, so they're in big trouble there

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The BBC cricket commentary blooper

    In brief: Ajahn Brahm recalls the famous BBC Test Match Special blooper when, introducing an over with a bowler named Holding and a batsman named…

    Read full story

    And there was this famous BBC commentator called Johnson. Anyway, he was just the one who was considered to be the best BBC commentator. And it did happen that England were playing the West Indies. And as he was commentating and actually got through the BBC sensors before they realized it had gone to where. Because the Englishman who was actually bowling was I think something, was it Jack Willie? I think his name was. And anyway, the West Indian batsman was William Holding, a very very famous batsman for the West Indies. And so he introduced the start of the over “the batsman's holding the the bowlers willie.” and it went on BBC!

    Open story page·Watch this telling

All stories·Find a story for your situation