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Story · Ajahn Brahm

“You're either going to get better or you're going to die”

As told by Ajahn Brahm in What to do when everything falls apart | by Ajahn Brahm | 18-05-2012

2 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

That's when I was really, really down and sick as I said a few weeks ago. Really down and sick in this third-world hospital in Ubon in Thailand, 35, 37 years ago now really really bad. That was the hospital where first evening there you know you had typhus fever felt terrible, next to death and at 6:00 p.m. the nurse disappeared one hour later the night nurse still hadn't appeared and I asked the monk next to me in the next bed should we let someone know the night nurse hasn't arrived but there is something happens in the middle of the night you know you got no one to help you and that's when the monk said there is no night nurse in this hospital we only have a nurse during the daytime sometimes. If something happens in the middle of the night that's just bad kamma. That was not reassuring. Now it is true you only had nurses there for half the day at nighttime you're at your own resources and people really sick and there's no bell to ring no one would come, you scream and you know no one would come to help you. So good for a hospital but anyway after feeling so bad for day about two or three weeks that's when Ajahn Chah came to visit me and now this was this big scene even by that time he was famous and he came just to visit me. Oh I felt so so good and so happy and so relieved, the great master comes to visit me, yeah. But the euphoria only lasted for about five seconds that's all because this great teacher he came right up to me and he said to me Brahmavamso that's the full name not Ajahn Brahm, "Brahmavamso," he said “you're either going to get better or you're going to die” and then he left. His wisdom was wonderful but his bedside manner was terrible. And that's so true, it doesn't last you're either going to get better or you're going to die, that's it. Very good teaching. So if any of you are going to visit your mother this weekend in hospital Mom, I heard from this monk, you are going to get better or you're going to die, bye bye, see you tomorrow. Don't do that. That really hurt me

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 56:31 (to 59:00)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Chah's whole hospital visit lasted five seconds: you'll either get better or you'll die. Great wisdom, terrible bedside manner, Ajahn Brahm jokes, and please don't try it on your mother. The truth underneath is kind: no illness stays the same, and usually you get better. It's a teaching, not a prognosis; follow your doctor's guidance.

In brief (our summary)

Seriously ill with typhus in a Ubon hospital with no night nurse, young Ajahn Brahm is overjoyed when the famous Ajahn Chah visits — for five seconds. Ajahn Chah says, “Brahmavamso, you're either going to get better or you're going to die,” and leaves.

Teaching point

Illness does not last: one way or another it changes. “His wisdom was wonderful but his bedside manner was terrible.”

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in What to do when everything falls apart | by Ajahn Brahm | 18-05-2012 · 2012-05-21 · ▶ watch from 56:31 to 59:00 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

8 other tellings of this story

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • The worst procedure in the ward

    In brief: In a Rockingham Hospital ward with three other men, they compare medical procedures to decide which is worst. Someone names a barium…

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    But one of the things we did in that ward, there was three other gentlemen in that ward and a monk. [laughter] And then having nothing to do all day, we just have these stupid conversations. And one of the conversations that four of us had is what's because some of them been in the hospital many times. That's my first time in hospital for years. And they we asked, "What's the worst medical procedure?" And someone said, "Oh, this procedure." And said, "No, no, no, no, no. That's easy. This procedure, no, no, that's easy." And I think if I get it right, I don't know if I remember this correctly, so many years ago, they said, "Oh, a barerium enema is the worst." And this poor man in the corner, his face went white. He said, "That's what I'm having this evening.

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  • Under a gynaecologist, and no pyjamas

    In brief: On his last hospital stay, at Rockingham, Ajahn Brahm is admitted under a family-friend doctor who is a gynaecologist — his bed sign…

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    That was about 26 years ago now. Yeah 26 years ago was the last time I went to hospital. It was in Rockingham Hospital. It's very interesting because the fellow who looked after me it's actually the secretary Gita's father. And he's a gynecologist. But because he knew me sort of he said oh let's… I'll take you in and I'll look after you. So, on the bed there was: Ajahn Brahm's doctor: dr Mendez, gynecologist. I do look weird enough wearing these robes. But being under a gynecologist, that was really cool. And all the nurses, “what, what are you?” good fun. But especially when you check in you know, you've got to check in first of all. The first question they asked me at the reception: “where's your pyjamas?” “monks don't have pajamas.” “but you've got to have pyjamas.” “but I don't have any!” “but you have to.” I said “listen. It's these robes or nothing. Take your choice.” and actually they let me wear my robes.

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  • She came back to see what her husband was up to

    In brief: A retreat participant tells how, dying in hospital while her husband raced to reach her, she was out of her body having a blissful time —…

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    I just remember one lady saying, "Oh, it was just so blissful and beautiful being out of my body," she was in a hospital with some terrible sickness. Her husband was racing to the hospital to try and catch her before she died, but she had already died, she was away having a wonderful time, but then she came back when she was wondering what her husband was up to. [laughter] I mean in a good way, I'm not saying that he was playing around, but you know whether he was worrying about her, whether he was coming, that brought her back. She told us afterwards, "That was the most wonderful experience of my life." I said, "Yeah, probably you like everybody else who's had those experiences are no longer afraid of death." "Yes," she said "I'm not afraid of death. Why should you be afraid of death when you know it's gonna be nice?

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • Meditating through the fever

    In brief: Three or four weeks into an undiagnosed fever (later found to be scrub typhus) in a basic Ubon hospital ward, with no energy and nothing…

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    But I do remember one of the times. And I wish I had been a bit more mindful, but I can understand why I wasn't cuz I had such such incredibly low energy. Never had so much low energy as that time fever of about 3 or 4 weeks. And anyway that uh one day I got sort of depressed but not a depression which was um negative. I don't know that I thought oh this is really awful. Nothing's working. This is terrible. So why don't I do some meditation actually practice know what my teacher would teach me what the Buddha would say do something useful. And this was like three weeks or four weeks into a a very heavy fever and nothing was working, feeling just so exhausted. So I decided to meditate and obviously not cross-legged but just laying on the bed, laying on my back or half on my back, half on this, half on that and being able just to let go of my body. And it was such a wonderful experience just sitting there or not so not sitting. They're laying there with legs all over the place. We've seen people in hospital with a fever. They're not really caring about just how their body is positioned. You're all over the place. But then just going deep inside away from my body, closing my eyes. It was in a a ward of a hospital. So there's lots of noise there, but I couldn't hear anything. No smell. No taste, just going inside to some nice beautiful mind state. Oh, it's just a wonderful time. And I'm really sure that that would be when the fever stopped simply because that's the nature of the mind. It's incredibly powerful and it's so powerful inside. It just stops all this stuff in your body and very happy afterwards.

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