Stories about marriage
32 Buddhist wisdom stories about marriage from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- 20,000 to one: the husband who lied onceStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After a talk in Malaysia a mathematics lecturer asks whether to divorce her husband because she discovered he lied. Ajahn Brahm does the statistics: three years, about 20,000…
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The classic tale was when I was teaching in Malaysia, and somebody asked me this question at the end of the talk. I have found out this morning my husband has lied to me. My husband has lied. I can't trust him anymore. Should I get divorced? She asked me whether she should get divorced. Quick I asked her what are you doing at this university. She was a lecturer on mathematics. So I saw an opportunity to answer her question, I asked how long have you been married, she said three years. I said let's do some statistics. Three years is maybe one thousand days. Lets say for the sake of this argument, let's assume that on average throughout your three years of marriage, your husband has said maybe twenty things to you every day, on average, which could be right, which could be wrong. So he's said twenty thousand statements to you since you've been married and now he's lied for the first time. The quantum probability theory on his past record, the next time he opens his mouth there is a twenty thousand to one chance he's telling the truth. What do you mean you can't trust him? [LAUGHTER] Isn't that pretty good odds, twenty thousand to one? If every time a politician opened their mouth with twenty thousand to one chance they're telling the truth, I'd vote for them, wouldn't you? They'd be trust worthy. But you can see what we've pointed out, that why is it that one lie, a real lie, they'd lied, why is that given so much prominence that everything else is totally forgotten and ignored? This is the stupidity of our human being which is just so fault finding and negative it hasn't got a balanced perspective on life. That lady wanted to destroy her marriage. Once I told her that story they stayed together.
- Bacon and eggsJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Wedding joke from his book: the difference between involvement and commitment is like bacon and eggs — the chicken is only involved, the pig is committed. The first time he told…
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the difference between involvement and commitment is the same as a difference between bacon and eggs think about it involvement commitment bacon and eggs because in bacon and eggs the pig is committed the chicken is only involved to get it and I when the first time I told that joke was on a radio show in Singapore and the fellow who was doing this show got it straight away and he he actually fell on the floor laughing and now I know enough about radio that you have to keep speaking if you're not speaking for more than I forget what the rule is 15 seconds the radio show gets fine so is it was actually pointed to me the microphone say something say something because it was paralytic for about 30-40 seconds but it's true the chicken only gives an egg but the pig gives its whole life you know that to that story my book overthrow of your heart has been translated into many languages and it's being translated into Hebrew but that story had to be taken out because it's been a crazy isn't it
- 'Become a monk and I'll cook for you'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: In the early years in Perth, before Sister Vayama came, Thai women married to Australians brought delicious food to the two monks. Some husbands complained, 'My wife never cooks…
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We had complaints in the first years when I was a monk because sometimes we had these Thai ladies married to Australians, and they'd come and bring food to the two monks who were there. This was before Sister Vayama came. And sometimes the Australian men, the husbands, would complain. They'd say, "My wife never cooks anything like that for me! This is unfair!" And the Thai women would say, "You should become a monk. Then I'll cook for you."
- Death us do part — see you in heavenJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Devoted couple reunite in heaven; he refuses her — the ceremony said death us do part, and they are dead now.
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two people that once they were married they lived a lovely life together. She was so devoted to him. He was devoted to her. And eventually they passed away and they met up in heaven. And as soon as they met up in heaven you know, she he came up to her. "Oh, darling, we meet again." He said, "No, no, I've got nothing to do with you now." "What do you mean?" "So, you know, we we were supposed to be loving each other." He said, "Don't you don't you remember the ceremony? It said death us do part. We're dead now
- 'George, you stupid man'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman who came to the Perth centre always belittled her husband in public — 'George, come over here. George, you stupid man.' Ajahn Brahm felt sorry for George, bullied and…
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There's this lady who's to come here and she would always she would always just embarrass her husband every time they came here. And I think, "Sir, I don't somebody may remember." It was It's George, George, come over here. George, you stupid man. George, George. And I always felt so sorry for George. And he was intimidated, he was bullied, he was harassed. And eventually, she passed away. When she passed away, I asked George afterwards, "Oh, you must be so relieved." He says, "No, I miss her so much." It's amazing what we get attached to.
- “I never stopped loving you, George”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Cockney friend of the monastery leaves his wife of about 40 years for a much younger woman; his wife is devastated. Some years later, split from the second partner, he visits…
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Just one which comes to my mind. This man, he was a good friend. He used to come to our monastery. He’s a bit of a Cockney. I was the only one who could really understand him when he came to our monastery. And, you know, after a while he decided he wanted to leave his wife. And he found another a girl much younger than him and he divorced his wife, went to live with this other girl. You know, he broke up. His wife was devastated. But later on, you know after three or four, five years, he was a good guy, you know he sort of split from this second wife. And about that time his first wife got very sick. And he went to visit her in hospital and held her hand when she died. She said “even though you left me, I never stopped loving you, George. I’d always forgive you.” And when I heard that, I thought, wow, that wife you had and he said, “I was so wrong to, to have, left you. I was stupid. I didn’t realise just how beautiful your love was. It was unconditional, even though I caused you pain. And just after about 40 years of marriage, I decided to, you know, go with somebody else.” I know the other girl, she’s a really good girl. You know you can’t really criticise people. But, that woman he married first of all, she was, she understood what love was, totally unconditional and forgiving.
- I'm leaving — but there's only oceanStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Janice and her husband, finishing a mining contract in WA, sold their house, bought a yacht with another couple and sailed for Vancouver. Mid-Pacific the engine failed; the two…
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Janice was uh from Canada came with her husband he was working up in the mines somewhere some engineer here on a contract when it finished they had to go back home to Canada the young couple and they were very smart very wise instead of doing what most people would do get an air ticket they decid no no let's sell the little house we have and use the money to buy a boat so they got a yacht idea let's sail to Vancouver in Canada when we get there sell the the yacht we got our deposit for the next house a brilliant idea you have an adventure of a lifetime imagine that my sailing from Perth you know over to the north of Australia and then through the South Seas over to you know maybe up the Atlantic coast eventually up to Vancouver like a journey of a lifetime and on the cheap too because you know you buy the boat you sell it when you get to the other end brilliant idea and of course you know they wrote to us when they arrived safely back in Vancouver but what Janice said in the story you in a letter a brilliant thing happened in the middle of the ocean their engine stored that actually I should have said that Janice and a husband they teamed up with another couple two married couples you know to help on the journey so in the middle of the ocean so the engine store they will be calm they couldn't go anywhere now this was 26 years ago in the middle of the Pacific Ocean you can't call up the RAC you're stuck you have to fix it up for yourself no satellite phones so you're in big trouble but you know they had a good tool kit and they knew what they were doing and so the two guys went into the engine room to sort out the the problem with the engine the two girls apparently were on Deck reading magazines sexist but that was 26 years ago so two guys in the engine room now any of you guys who've ever tried to fix up an engine you know that sometimes as I said in the book it just does not want to be fixed up and they were getting more and more frustrated maybe you haven't tried to fix up an an engine of a boat but maybe you try to fix up your computer and you start swearing that's what these guys did they started swearing cuz they're getting frustrated and frustration led to blaming each other it's your fault stupid and blaming each other soon led to a full on argument and the argument got to such a high level of conflict that one of them threw down their wrench in anger and said right that's it I'm leaving and this actually occurred he was so mad with his rage he went to his cabin he actually changed cleaned up he's all dirty changed into his best clothes packed his bags and appeared on Deck carrying his two suitcases and the two women almost fell off the boat laughing cuz he looked around and there was ocean in all directions as far as you could see there's no place to go so he had only one choice red in the face with embarrassment he turned around went back to his cabin got back changed back into his work clothes back into the engine room to help out and they ended that Voyage as they began the best of friends I love that story CU that's like our world we like a boat in the ocean there's nowhere to go you may think right that's it I'm leaving where you going to go to instead go back into the anent room help your enemy fix up the problem
- 'I've been underneath him all my life'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After interring a man's ashes in the wall around Bodhinyana Monastery, Ajahn Brahm jokingly asked his elderly Malaysian Chinese widow whether he should reserve the place…
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I remember this other He was I don't know what Malaysian Chinese lady. And her partner, many, many years they were married, died. So, I did the funeral ceremony for them. And as you may know, over in Bodhinyana Monastery, people can sometimes put their ashes in the wall around the monastery. They get a little box of ashes, we dig a hole in the the wall, and put the ashes in there, put a plaque over it. And I'd just done this ceremony for this uh man who died, and his wife was there. She was very old. And I did ask her, silly thing to ask. I shouldn't have done this, but it was funny. I said, "Should I reserve the place underneath for you?" And she looked at me and said, "No. I've been underneath him all my life. I want to go to the other side of the monastery. However far away you can go. And she died about 3 months later. And so I made sure that she went a long way away from It was in the water. Both in the water, but a long way away from each other.
- “If my daughter didn't have those faults…”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A newly married man tells his father-in-law that everything his bride does is charming — even how she cleans wax from her ear. The father-in-law warns that in a year or two he'll…
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There's one of those great stories that a person who got married and used to say as the father in-law took the daughter-in-law...no the father-in-law took his new son-in-law aside, so you probably love my, my daughter very much. Yes I've just married her, she's beautiful, she's charming, she's wonderful, even the way she puts her finger in her ear to get the wax out is charming. And he said that's what it's like when you get married, everything you do is just loveable. And the father-in-law said but in one or two years time you'll start to see the faults and defects in my daughter but please son-in-law always remember this, always remember if my daughter did not have those faults to begin with, she'd have married someone much better than you.
- “Make him fall in love again — then divorce him”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Singapore woman, convinced her husband has a mistress, tells a marriage counsellor she just wants a divorce. The counsellor asks: if you divorce him now, will he be happy or…
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Look at this story, this is a great story told to me by a marriage counselor in Singapore. She had a client, her client was really, lost all of her love for her husband who was coming home late from work, she suspected he had a mistress, and he wouldn't sort of admit anything, the relationship was so on the rocks, it was almost as fast to the bottom of the sea as the Titanic. But she went to the marriage counselor, she said I want to get a divorce. And the marriage counselor very skillfully said, “does he love you?” then “No! Of course he doesn't love me”. Well then, said the counselor, “if you divorce him now he'll be very happy. Is that what you want?” “No!” [laughter] “So here's the plan - see if you can make him love you again - you know, dress up, be kind, be charming, you know, use all of your skills as a woman to win him back and then when he falls in love with you again then divorce him!” (laughter). She says “yeah, yeah! that's the way to treat men”. So that was the plan. So, she did what she was suggested, she brought some new clothes, had a nice sort of makeover sort of was really kind even though he came home late, she's really charming. And every week she'd either call or visit the counselor. "How's it going?" She said actually it's beginning to work, he's coming home earlier and he’s actually being nice to me. She said, "great keep on going, the plan's working." And as the weeks went past he came home early, was more friendly with her, started cuddling and kissing her and everything, and then she never called the counselor any more. And so the counselor after a month called the client said “what's happening? Is he in love with you yet?” “Yeah, he is”. The counselor said: “Great! Time to divorce him!” “Oh no...he’s so nice now.” [laughter] Mission accomplished. That was the plan all along.
- Married 25 years and strangers on holidayStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After about 25 years of marriage, when the last child leaves home, a couple take their first holiday alone together. One says afterwards it was a shock: “I didn't realise whom I…
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somebody, actually it's a person who is a old fellow member here, they told me that I think they had been married for about 25 years and the last of their children got married, so left home And there they were together, so went on a holiday together. First time they could go just the two of them and they came back afterwards and one of the partners said it was such a shock such a shock, I didn't realize whom I was married to all these years. Because for all those years they have been relating to each other as father and mother of their kids. Now their kids were out of the equation, the whole relationship, the whole identity changed. They had to rediscover each other again. It is amazing they had been married for so many years and they said they didn't know each other.
- 'Now the drugs are wearing off'Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A man coming round from an anaesthetic sees his wife at his bedside: 'My gosh, you are beautiful.' He dozes, opens his eyes again: 'Wife, you're cute.' 'Cute? A few moments ago…
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The story I read recently about the man who just woken up from his operation, just coming out of anaesthetic, and his wife was by his bedside, as you would expect. And the first thing he said when he opened his eyes and looked at his wife and said, "My gosh, you are beautiful." What a wonderful thing to hear from your husband when he just comes out of anaesthetic. And he closes his eyes, and a minute or two later, he opens his eyes second times, and said, "Wife, you're cute." "What would you mean 'cute'? You said I was really beautiful a few moments ago." He said, "Yes, but now the drugs are wearing off."
- One side is right but not correctStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm quotes 'Great Master Ran': in an argument one side is right but not correct, the other correct but not right — so both are learning rather than winning.
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Great Master ran sometimes would I take an hour to say he would just sum up in just know one second with these p statements he said when there is an argument he said one side is right but not correct the other side is correct but not right that's a beautiful saying isn't it so you have an argument with your wife with your husband who's right and who's wrong
- Send her back — she might resurrectJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A man finally takes his difficult Christian wife to Israel; she dies there. Chaplain offers $500 local funeral vs $5000 to ship her home — he chooses shipping: someone…
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holy land with his wife I think I must have told I think I told that in the armadel group last Tuesday when it just shows you just know how experience and know what real suffering really is about this guy who went to his wife was a Christian and always wanted to go to know Israel to see the holy sites and like Buddhists go on pilgrimages to India know Christians and Jews they go on a pilgrimage to Israel so his wife was pestering him again and again and again she was a very difficult woman to live with and so she pested him again and again So eventually he took her over to Israel for the um uh for a holiday and when she was over there she died and so after she died the chaplain of the hospital which was treating her said well look we can do the funeral here in Israel for only $500 but to send her back to Australia it' be about $5,000 and we have to pay for the funeral expenses also what do you want and he said no I think we better send her back to Australia and the chap was quite surprised why are you wasting all that money he said oh cuz I heard a few years ago in this country somebody died and he resurrected after 3 days I can't take that chance my wife
- Seven years to change a violent husbandStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: About twenty years ago a woman thanks the monks for saving her life. For seven years she had come to the centre only to get away from a husband who beat her regularly — every…
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But another way is there was a lady who came here many years ago. I mentioned this story in the "Opening the Door of your Heart". Amazing lady, she came up to me once and said "I wanna thank you for saving our lives for all the talks given over the last several years have changed my life and my husband's life all around. Her story was that her husband was very abusive to her. Domestic abuse; this is about 25 years ago. And in those days, many women would just take in and they wouldn't go to the social services to get help. I don't know if there was that help around at the time anyway. So she told us she came to this centre over here not because she was a Buddhist just as a place she could escape to for a couple of hours. where she knew she won't be hit. Brilliant, she only told me about this at the very end. But she said what she heard here was this wonderful positive forgiveness. Not just forgiveness because that's not enough So the positive part of it was whenever her partner behaved appropriately, kindly, softly then she would just go out to him give him hugs and kisses. Whenever he was abusive, I don't advice this at all She was an amazing lady. She would just take it. She said it took her seven years to turn that man totally around. She never gave any feedback to the abuse. She only gave feedback to the kindness. Little by little by not giving feedback to abuse, it just diminished. By giving positive feedback to the kindness - it grew
- Sexy dance for the Massey FergusonJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A farmer told by a marriage counsellor to do something sexy to attract his wife is later found naked doing a sexy dance in front of his Massey Ferguson tractor.
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doing a sexy dance because he was told to do something sexy to attractor. That's today's joke
- 'She gave me the money and sent me'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A man keeps asking his wife if he can go on a weekend meditation retreat; each time there's too much to do — shopping, cleaning, kids' sport, her mother visiting, the shed.…
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There was this guy, good old story. It's years and years ago, we had these weekend retreats; he always wanted to go on a weekend retreat. He told me this story. It's a beautiful story. And when there was a weekend retreat, he said to his wife, "Can I go on the weekend retreat?" "What are you talking about? We got to do the shopping, the cleaning, look after the kids, take them here. Go to the dentist, gotta mow the lawn. There's too much to do." You can understand that. You know, having a family, having a house, there's so much you have to do on weekends. So she said no. But he was very persistent. Any husbands here who wanna go on retreats, this is how it's done. [laughter] He asked next retreat, he asked again, "There's a retreat on, can I go?" "No, of course you can't go! Mother's coming this weekend. The kids need to be taken here and taken there to their sports and there's so much cleaning. You've got to clean up the shed. You promised to do that for weeks." Okay. And he was persistent. This is a trick. Guys. I never been married. But I know all about it, how it works. [laughter] One day he said, "Oh there's another retreat on." I don't know how many times he said this but, "there's a retreat on this weekend. Can I go?" She was so fed up with him. "Ok, you go on your stupid retreat and leave me with the kids on the shopping and the cleaning." He took that as a "yes" and went. [laughter] It's only for the weekend. She was really annoyed at him. But then when he came home, he came home, he was really changed, like soft and kind and lots of loving kindness, and not fault finding and peaceful and very helpful, you know, when you do your little chores in the kitchen. And they learn how to do this and cook that and she was amazed at the change in her husband. Just a weekend and what a most wonderful guy he was to live with. This is absolutely true. The next time there was a retreat, he came on a retreat. "And so, you've got permission from your wife to go on a retreat again?" He said, "No, I didn't have permission to go, she just gave me the money and sent me."
- Something with diamonds in itJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Asked what she wants for Valentine's Day, a wife says, “I need nothing, I've got you.” “Yes, but what do you want?” “Something, anything with diamonds in.” Next day she opens a…
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Like that one of my favorite jokes like the person who asked his his wife, he said, "Valentine's Day tomorrow, darling, what do you want?" And she said, "I need nothing. I've got you." He said, "Yes, but what do you want?" He'd been married long enough to know women. And so she looked at him and said, "Something, anything with diamonds in." So when she opened her present the following day, she found a pack of playing cards. It has 13 diamonds in it.
- Sundays church, Saturdays templeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Jagaro marries a Thai Buddhist woman to an Italian Catholic. Asked how they should practise, he says: Sundays you both go to church together; Saturdays you both come to the…
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this was actually you know my predecessor AJ and Jacob gave this wonderful piece of advice when he had a Thai girl married to an Italian Catholic and they asked and they did a wedding ceremony for them and then asked what should we do you know for our religious life and he gave this wonderful person a Catholic married to a Buddhist he said on Sundays you both go to church together on Saturdays you both come to the temple together
- The deathbed confessionJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A dying husband confesses to his devoted wife that he hasn't always been a good husband — there was the mistress he never told her about — and yet she was still so kind to him.…
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There was this um husband and uh he was on his deathbed. His wife was just looking after him. And the wife was the husband was saying, "Now darling, you know, I'm about to die soon. So I really should confess. You know, you've been such a wonderful wife to me. But sometimes I haven't been such a good husband to you. Even just you know, the mistress I had. I never told you about her. But you still were so kind to me." And the wife said, "Darling, I know. That's why I poisoned you.
- The diamond necklace dealJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A man buys his wife a very expensive diamond necklace; she never talks to him for six months. Friends call her ungrateful. He says: 'Yes, that was the deal.'
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the man who brought his wife a very expensive diamond necklace did I say this last week he brought his wife a very expensive diamond necklace and she never talked to him for six months afterwards and his friends said that is just so ungrateful you know you bought her this expensive beautiful diamond necklace and she won't even talk to you and it's six months has gone past now he said yes that was the deal
- The embassy couples who got back togetherStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After his first book, opening with the two-bad-bricks story, becomes popular, Ajahn Brahm is invited to Bangkok: of four couples at the Australian Embassy with marital trouble,…
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I got this invitation to go to Bangkok. Four couples in the Australian Embassy in Bangkok had marital trouble. Two were divorced. They've gone through the divorce proceedings. Two were separated but not divorced yet. When they read that story, they came together again. Amazing, they were divorced. But they decided to come together again, separated ones came together again. And they wanted to see me. They want to say thank you. So they bought me an airline ticket to go to Bangkok, paid everything. So I gave a talk for the people in the Australian Embassy in Bangkok. Say thank you. It worked.
- The husband's photo in her handbagJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Married 30 or 40 years, a woman always carries her husband's photo in her handbag. Whenever life gets really difficult she takes it out, looks at him and says: “If I can endure…
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that um story of that woman who who um always kept a photograph of her husband in her in her purse you know in her s of handbag and they were been married for about 30 40 years and she always carried a photo PHH of her husband around with her to use in times of difficulty and trouble because whenever life was real problem whenever it was just so difficult she would open up her handbag and take out the picture of the man she'd been married to for 30 years and she looked at him and said if I can enure that I can enure anything
- The medium who named Auntie Opal's husbandStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Just after WWII, Ajahn Brahm's mother and his aunt Opal, close as sisters, visit a medium for fun. The medium tells Opal she will soon meet her husband — first name Donald,…
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I can tell this other real story. This is a true story because this is family. I asked my mother while she was still alive and asked my auntie who actually is still alive. She's in her 90s now. Did this really happen? Yeah, it did. And this is like your own mother and your auntie. They grew up as almost like sisters. And because uh when they were still just after the Second World War, they were young and they were looking for partners in life. So my auntie and my mom, they went together to this dark no to this medium, you know, just for for fun, just to see what was going on. And this medium took one look at my auntie and her name was Opal and said, "You are soon going to meet your husband." Now, if somebody says that to you, you know, think, "Oh, the guy's crazy." Or was a woman meet him? I'm not sure. But anyway, oh yeah. And he said and his name will be first name Donald surname Wolfries. Now Donald was not a uncommon name but Wolfries a surname was really uncommon. So I said what did you think about when it was rubbish you know stupid but it was no good fun. But then about a week later she met this and I asked her what happened. So, I met this nice guy at a dance. That's what they used to do in those days. And you know, he asked me for a dance. I said, "Yes." And said, "What's your name?" And he said, "Donald." Uh-oh. Surname was wolf. They were married 60 years.
- The medium, then Donald asked her to danceStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: His auntie (cousin to his mum, still alive at 96–97) visited a medium with his mother before a dance; afterwards a man named Donald asked her to dance — they married for sixty…
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this story my auntie who is amazingly still alive. She's 96 or 97 or something. And when she was out just looking for a partner in life with my mother, my mom and her like grew up together. They weren't sisters. They were cousins, but they were just like sisters. So one evening they went out and before they went to a dance, they went to see this medium, just something to do. And this medium looked at my auntie and told her, he said, "You're soon going to meet the love of your life." Oh, yeah. You've heard that one before. And his name will be Donald, surname Wolfries. That's not like Jack Smith or, you know, John this or it was a really weird name. Donald Wolfries. A couple of days later, she went to a dance with my mom. They went there together and this guy came up to my auntie and said, "We like to dance." That's what they used to do in those days. And yeah, he was they attracted together and said, "What's your name?" Donald. Oh, no. Wolfries. And they were married for 60 years. He only died a few years ago
- The ninth weddingStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Visiting Seattle, Ajahn Sumedho meets an old school friend who invites him to her wedding — her ninth, or so. Why? She loves meeting a new man, dating, falling in love, the…
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It's one of the stories which Ajahn Sumedho told me a long time ago. He went to visit his home in Seattle where he was brought up, and he caught up with an old school friend of his. And the old school friend, oh great, you're here, I'm just about to get married, please come to my marriage ceremony. He said, you're getting old now, why are you getting married? No, this is not my first marriage, this is my ninth, or something like that. He said, why are you getting married again nine times? She said, well look, it's like this, I like meeting a new guy, dating, it's really exciting, and then falling in love, and that moment when he goes down on one knee and he proposes. I love that moment, it's just so beautiful, so romantic, and planning the wedding, getting all the guests in and a nice dress, I love that stuff. And the wedding itself, we look at each other with just really dewy eyes, smiling, he looks so handsome, and I have to dress up, look so beautiful, and we exchange our vows. That is so beautiful. I love that. It's what happens afterwards I don't like.
- The only lie in 40 years of marriageStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Don, a retired Royal Navy man and Buddhist Society member, was in Royal Perth Hospital awaiting heart bypass surgery. The night before, his wife phoned Ajahn Brahm, distressed:…
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one of the members here his name was Don he was English he used to be in the the Royal Navy and he came to Perth in the boat and liked it so much that once he retired he came to uh to live here and he had a heart attack he was put in roal Perth Hospital put in the the F stream for having bypass surgery and I went to see him in the hospital give him a bit of a boo and just the night before his surgery his wife called me she was very very disturbed and she said I've been married to him for about 40 years now and this afternoon I lied to him for the first time and I feel terrible and so asked what happened why did you lie she said in that W there were three other beds and in his next bed all people about to have heart bypasses was Jack and you know being in the war together him two or 3 days nothing else to do you know he became quite friendly to Jack and Jack was had that heart bypass that morning and I went to see my husband in the evening and he was to have his bypass the next day and so my husband asked how's Jack how did his H how did his bypass go and I lied to him I said fine he's over in the ICU recovering it was a success when what really happened I saw Jack's wife crying her eyes out he died the bypassing didn't work and I didn't want to tell my husband that that his friend had died from the same operation my husband's going to have tomorrow I think that might have killed him and actually that because he was quite elderly he was on the edge of life and death for about two or three days he only just pulled through and to this day I I say to his wife you probably did the right thing if you'd have told the truth it might have just pushed him over the edge it might have killed him so I said in that particular case it was the right thing to do to lie so I say once every 40 years you can lie
- The sign outside the templeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman in Malaysia, a model with her own TV show, had hoped three months earlier that Ajahn Brahm could bless her wedding — impossible, she thought, to get him to Malacca. Then,…
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one of the unexpected events which happened there was there was a lady who was how she'd heard me talk before and she was getting married and about three months ago she thought wouldn't it be wonderful if I could get a gibran to do my marriage blessing but how can I get him to come all the way to Malacca is impossible and even though that was her hope she just went past the temple and she saw this big sign saying agile Brahma is coming to Malacca on the very day that she'd arranged her marriage so she was so delighted that you could actually get me for a marriage ceremony and of course it I bless anything so very happy to bless our marriage for her
- The three rings of marriageJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Wedding joke: the three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring — and the suffer-ring. Told here with the audience supplying 'suffering' and him correcting it…
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What are the three rings of marriage? You remember that story? The three rings of marriage. First ring of marriage is the engagement ring. Second ring. Dennis knows this one because he used to be the marriage settlement of the Buddhist society. Did this many times. I even remember once when we did a marriage and we just he was just about to declare the husband and wife uh husbands and wives your marriage is complete. Then I had to nudge him. Do you remember that Dennis? When I nudge you said you forgot to exchange the rings. Oh yes thank [laughter] you. But anyway we did that before you actually declared them husband and wife. So thank you Dennis. But anyway, the second ring of marriage is the wedding ring. And what's the third ring of ma marriage? I can't hear you. You say suffering. No, Dennis. Caring. [laughter] I've changed to become more soft in my old age.
- The two sisters: one with a husband, one withoutStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two Thai sisters come for counselling. The elder can't stand her Australian husband and is considering divorce ('recycling'); the younger desperately wants a partner. Ajahn Brahm…
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These two Thai sisters came one day to see me. Oh, I'll never forget this. They still come to feed us every now and again, but they wanted personal counseling. And so I talked to them and the elder sister first. And the elder sister said to me, he said, "Oh, you know, I've got a husband, a Western husband, Australian guy." He said, "I can't stand him." There's so much suffering and and now I'm just really wondering should I keep working on this? Is it really salvageable or should I sort of get divorced and try again? And you all know again I don't call it divorce anymore. I sped this word around in Singapore. They really liked it. We don't call it divorce. What do we call it in Buddhism? Recycling. Yes. It's a much much more positive word. So, and she was thinking of getting divorced. And so, I gave her some nice ideas about how to solve the problems in a marriage because it's not that hard to solve problems in marriage. Even as a monk, I can do that. Like, oh, this great story which just comes to my mind. Some of these are golden oldies, but you know, they're just great stories about this because actually the lady who told me this, you know, I was uh had lunch with her yesterday in Singapore. She told me that she was a bit of a marriage counselor in her early years and she had one client who came to her Singapore lady. She couldn't stand her husband because her husband was coming home very late at night. She was certain that he had a mistress. And so she told the marriage counselor, you know, actually I don't really need counseling. I just want to get rid of the guy. I want to divorce. I want to separate. Just help me get rid of him. And a marriage counselor was a very very smart girl. She said, "Look, if you divorce him now, do you think he will be happy or he'll be miserable?" And she thought about actually it's what he wants. He'd be really happy. And in your present state, do you want him to be happy? No, I want him to be miserable. So this is the plan. Don't get divorced yet when he, you know, doesn't like you. Go out and get a really good hairstyle. Go and get your face, you know, made up. Go and learn a bit more grooming. Go and get some sexy clothes. And when he comes home, just being really nice to him. Just cuddle him and see what happens. because you fell in love once, see if you can make him fall in love with you again. And when he does fall in love with you again, then divorce him. Yeah. Yeah. What a great idea. So that's what they did. She spent a lot of money just getting sort of uh uh face done up and nice hairstyle and what they call it, a makeover. A nice makeover. So she really looked much more attractive and every week go and see the marriage counselor. He started coming home earlier and earlier and earlier. He started becoming more affectionate towards her and they'd always ask how's it going? Yeah, he's you know he's becoming much more affectionate. It's really seems to be working. He's falling in love with me again. And then she missed an appointment. And so the the counselor called her up at home said, "You missed an appointment this week. What happened?" He said, "Oh, well, he's having such a lot of time. He's fallen in love with me. I'm sure of it." "Great," said the counselor. "Now's the time to divorce him." "Oh, no. We're so much in love now." Mission accomplished. Cuz all it is that sometimes is we have a little bit of problems in life, but there's always ways we can work it out. They fall in love with you once, why not try and fall in love again? Now do something like romantic. No, don't come. Honestly, don't come to the Buddhist society if you want to have a nice romance. You know, we're going to get soon another couple of months Valentine's Day. Go and get her a present. Like that one of my favorite jokes like the person who asked his his wife, he said, "Valentine's Day tomorrow, darling, what do you want?" And she said, "I need nothing. I've got you." He said, "Yes, but what do you want?" He'd been married long enough to know women. And so she looked at him and said, "Something, anything with diamonds in." So when she opened her present the following day, she found a pack of playing cards. It has 13 diamonds in it. So that's what you guys you can get for your your wife's Christmas present. A pack of play cards. Diamonds, darling. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Anyway, back to reality. So I told this lady, you've got husband suffering. That's what it's like having a husband. you ask other women and it's just it's a difficulty having a relationship. It's not easy but you know you can work at it and make it work. And the junior sister, this the younger one of course her problem was she was looking for a partner in life like many people do. They can't find one. You know they find someone who's just almost okay but then it just all goes pear-shaped. It doesn't work. And people keep telling me actually see all these girls coming up here say I just really need a partner in life. I'm looking for someone to go out with and share my life with someone I can trust. And see all these nice guys come up. I'm looking for a girl. I really should start a dating agency cuz I've got all these potential clients and they're all really nice people. I can't understand it cuz I've known some of these people for such a long time. Why can't you get on together? You I get on with you. Really nice people, really good people. But anyway, this is coming in in a few moments. But I told this lady said, "You you are looking for a husband, somebody you can share your life with. And your elder sister has got a husband she doesn't want. I can see a solution." And I actually said that they got very upset at me. I don't know why. It's logic. It's reason. Your sister's got a husband she doesn't want. a younger sisters and I wants one share. Isn't that what brothers and sisters are supposed to do? But then I told her, okay, you've got, you know, a single woman suffering. And I said, if you find a partner in life, you'll have what your elder sister have, married woman suffering. And so they actually understood that. They said, "Yeah, you're right. And if you're married, you have married woman suffering. If you're single, you have single woman suffering." So they thought they'd become nuns. And I said, "If you become nuns, then you have none suffering. Go and ask the nuns at Gijigan.
- Weeping at the grave of his wife's first husbandJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A man sobs at a grave in Karrakatta, “Why did you die?” Asked if it is his father or son, he says no — it was his present wife's former husband.
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I remember this one story of disappointment which I read the other day about the person who was, they found him just in Karakatta and he was weeping over a grave. And he was just so disappointed. Why did you die? Why did you die? Why did you die? And someone came up to him and said, what's wrong? They saw it was a male grave, is that your son or your father? He said, no, I'm just so disappointed he died. Well, who was he? He said he was the husband of my present wife, the former husband that was. Why did you have to die? Why do you have to die?
- Why the bride wears whiteJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Wedding joke he tells at ceremonies: why does the bride wear white and the groom black? White is the symbol of purity — so now you understand why the groom wears black. Another…
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one of the jokes was now why is it in a marriage that the bride wears white and the groom wears black and the answer is you know this is the answer I've told before it's because why is a symbol of Purity and that's the bride so now you understand why the boy wears black but I heard another another reason why the why the the bride wears white at a at a wedding ceremony and that's because all domestic appliances are white