Story · Ajahn Brahm

'I've been underneath him all my life'

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember this other He was I don't know what Malaysian Chinese lady. And her partner, many, many years they were married, died. So, I did the funeral ceremony for them. And as you may know, over in Bodhinyana Monastery, people can sometimes put their ashes in the wall around the monastery. They get a little box of ashes, we dig a hole in the the wall, and put the ashes in there, put a plaque over it. And I'd just done this ceremony for this uh man who died, and his wife was there. She was very old. And I did ask her, silly thing to ask. I shouldn't have done this, but it was funny. I said, "Should I reserve the place underneath for you?" And she looked at me and said, "No. I've been underneath him all my life. I want to go to the other side of the monastery. However far away you can go. And she died about 3 months later. And so I made sure that she went a long way away from It was in the water. Both in the water, but a long way away from each other.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 9:01 (to 10:16)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Asked if she'd like her ashes placed beneath her husband's, an elderly widow said she'd been underneath him all her life; put her on the far side of the monastery. Ajahn Brahm made sure of it. Even the longest relationships end. Enjoy them fully while they last, without demanding forever.

In brief (our summary)

After interring a man's ashes in the wall around Bodhinyana Monastery, Ajahn Brahm jokingly asked his elderly Malaysian Chinese widow whether he should reserve the place underneath for her. 'No. I've been underneath him all my life. I want to go to the other side of the monastery — however far away you can go.' She died about three months later, and he made sure her ashes went a long way away from her husband's.

Teaching point

Even long relationships don't last forever (anicca); enjoy them without demanding eternity.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in The Nature of Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 10 February 2023 · 2023-02-10 · ▶ watch from 9:01 to 10:16 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

1 other telling of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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