The embassy couples who got back together

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• “I never stopped loving you, George”

  In brief: A Cockney friend of the monastery leaves his wife of about 40 years for a much younger woman; his wife is devastated. Some years later,…

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  Just one which comes to my mind. This man, he was a good friend. He used to come to our monastery. He’s a bit of a Cockney. I was the only one who could really understand him when he came to our monastery. And, you know, after a while he decided he wanted to leave his wife. And he found another a girl much younger than him and he divorced his wife, went to live with this other girl. You know, he broke up. His wife was devastated. But later on, you know after three or four, five years, he was a good guy, you know he sort of split from this second wife. And about that time his first wife got very sick. And he went to visit her in hospital and held her hand when she died. She said “even though you left me, I never stopped loving you, George. I’d always forgive you.” And when I heard that, I thought, wow, that wife you had and he said, “I was so wrong to, to have, left you. I was stupid. I didn’t realise just how beautiful your love was. It was unconditional, even though I caused you pain. And just after about 40 years of marriage, I decided to, you know, go with somebody else.” I know the other girl, she’s a really good girl. You know you can’t really criticise people. But, that woman he married first of all, she was, she understood what love was, totally unconditional and forgiving.

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• The ninth wedding

  In brief: Visiting Seattle, Ajahn Sumedho meets an old school friend who invites him to her wedding — her ninth, or so. Why? She loves meeting a new…

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  It's one of the stories which Ajahn Sumedho told me a long time ago. He went to visit his home in Seattle where he was brought up, and he caught up with an old school friend of his. And the old school friend, oh great, you're here, I'm just about to get married, please come to my marriage ceremony. He said, you're getting old now, why are you getting married? No, this is not my first marriage, this is my ninth, or something like that. He said, why are you getting married again nine times? She said, well look, it's like this, I like meeting a new guy, dating, it's really exciting, and then falling in love, and that moment when he goes down on one knee and he proposes. I love that moment, it's just so beautiful, so romantic, and planning the wedding, getting all the guests in and a nice dress, I love that stuff. And the wedding itself, we look at each other with just really dewy eyes, smiling, he looks so handsome, and I have to dress up, look so beautiful, and we exchange our vows. That is so beautiful. I love that. It's what happens afterwards I don't like.

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• 20,000 to one: the husband who lied once

  In brief: After a talk in Malaysia a mathematics lecturer asks whether to divorce her husband because she discovered he lied. Ajahn Brahm does the…

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  The classic tale was when I was teaching in Malaysia, and somebody asked me this question at the end of the talk. I have found out this morning my husband has lied to me. My husband has lied. I can't trust him anymore. Should I get divorced? She asked me whether she should get divorced. Quick I asked her what are you doing at this university. She was a lecturer on mathematics. So I saw an opportunity to answer her question, I asked how long have you been married, she said three years. I said let's do some statistics. Three years is maybe one thousand days. Lets say for the sake of this argument, let's assume that on average throughout your three years of marriage, your husband has said maybe twenty things to you every day, on average, which could be right, which could be wrong. So he's said twenty thousand statements to you since you've been married and now he's lied for the first time. The quantum probability theory on his past record, the next time he opens his mouth there is a twenty thousand to one chance he's telling the truth. What do you mean you can't trust him? [LAUGHTER] Isn't that pretty good odds, twenty thousand to one? If every time a politician opened their mouth with twenty thousand to one chance they're telling the truth, I'd vote for them, wouldn't you? They'd be trust worthy. But you can see what we've pointed out, that why is it that one lie, a real lie, they'd lied, why is that given so much prominence that everything else is totally forgotten and ignored? This is the stupidity of our human being which is just so fault finding and negative it hasn't got a balanced perspective on life. That lady wanted to destroy her marriage. Once I told her that story they stayed together.

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• “If my daughter didn't have those faults…”

  In brief: A newly married man tells his father-in-law that everything his bride does is charming — even how she cleans wax from her ear. The…

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  There's one of those great stories that a person who got married and used to say as the father in-law took the daughter-in-law...no the father-in-law took his new son-in-law aside, so you probably love my, my daughter very much. Yes I've just married her, she's beautiful, she's charming, she's wonderful, even the way she puts her finger in her ear to get the wax out is charming. And he said that's what it's like when you get married, everything you do is just loveable. And the father-in-law said but in one or two years time you'll start to see the faults and defects in my daughter but please son-in-law always remember this, always remember if my daughter did not have those faults to begin with, she'd have married someone much better than you.

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