Being Mindful Stories

Joke · Ajahn Brahm

The deathbed confession

As told by Ajahn Brahm in The Nature of Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 10 February 2023

1 min read

Content note: dark humour (murder, infidelity)

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There was this um husband and uh he was on his deathbed. His wife was just looking after him. And the wife was the husband was saying, "Now darling, you know, I'm about to die soon. So I really should confess. You know, you've been such a wonderful wife to me. But sometimes I haven't been such a good husband to you. Even just you know, the mistress I had. I never told you about her. But you still were so kind to me." And the wife said, "Darling, I know. That's why I poisoned you.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 16:15 (to 17:01)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A dying husband confessed an affair to his kind wife, who replied that she knew, and that's why she'd poisoned him. Ajahn Brahm hastily adds he's not encouraging that. His point: we ask too much of partners, and of our children. Exams kill by degrees. Expect less, and love the people you have.

In brief (our summary)

A dying husband confesses to his devoted wife that he hasn't always been a good husband — there was the mistress he never told her about — and yet she was still so kind to him. 'Darling, I know,' says the wife. 'That's why I poisoned you.'

Teaching point

A 'naughty joke' told after saying that every partnership eventually ends.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in The Nature of Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 10 February 2023 · 2023-02-10 · ▶ watch from 16:15 to 17:01 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

  • Something with diamonds in it

    In brief: Asked what she wants for Valentine's Day, a wife says, “I need nothing, I've got you.” “Yes, but what do you want?” “Something, anything…

    Read full story

    Like that one of my favorite jokes like the person who asked his his wife, he said, "Valentine's Day tomorrow, darling, what do you want?" And she said, "I need nothing. I've got you." He said, "Yes, but what do you want?" He'd been married long enough to know women. And so she looked at him and said, "Something, anything with diamonds in." So when she opened her present the following day, she found a pack of playing cards. It has 13 diamonds in it.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • 'Become a monk and I'll cook for you'

    In brief: In the early years in Perth, before Sister Vayama came, Thai women married to Australians brought delicious food to the two monks. Some…

    Read full story

    We had complaints in the first years when I was a monk because sometimes we had these Thai ladies married to Australians, and they'd come and bring food to the two monks who were there. This was before Sister Vayama came. And sometimes the Australian men, the husbands, would complain. They'd say, "My wife never cooks anything like that for me! This is unfair!" And the Thai women would say, "You should become a monk. Then I'll cook for you."

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • Why the bride wears white

    In brief: Wedding joke he tells at ceremonies: why does the bride wear white and the groom black? White is the symbol of purity — so now you…

    Read full story

    one of the jokes was now why is it in a marriage that the bride wears white and the groom wears black and the answer is you know this is the answer I've told before it's because why is a symbol of Purity and that's the bride so now you understand why the boy wears black but I heard another another reason why the why the the bride wears white at a at a wedding ceremony and that's because all domestic appliances are white

    Open story page·Watch this telling

  • The three rings of marriage

    In brief: Wedding joke: the three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring — and the suffer-ring. Told here with the audience…

    Read full story

    What are the three rings of marriage? You remember that story? The three rings of marriage. First ring of marriage is the engagement ring. Second ring. Dennis knows this one because he used to be the marriage settlement of the Buddhist society. Did this many times. I even remember once when we did a marriage and we just he was just about to declare the husband and wife uh husbands and wives your marriage is complete. Then I had to nudge him. Do you remember that Dennis? When I nudge you said you forgot to exchange the rings. Oh yes thank [laughter] you. But anyway we did that before you actually declared them husband and wife. So thank you Dennis. But anyway, the second ring of marriage is the wedding ring. And what's the third ring of ma marriage? I can't hear you. You say suffering. No, Dennis. Caring. [laughter] I've changed to become more soft in my old age.

    Open story page·Watch this telling

All stories·Find a story for your situation