Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

'She'll do'

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Get Real | Ajahn Brahm | 12-06-2009

1 min read

Content note: unnamed monk; comments on a woman's looks (mild)

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

one of the monks who is a great Monk and he when he was a young monk you he was very honest and he used to come and tell us he said yeah you know it's a young mug we're not supposed to like girls you know we're supposed to be monastic but he said sometimes he was sitting in the temple and this girl would come in and he start looking at her and you know she wasn't that beautiful you know her hair was mousy flat breasted not particularly not particularly attracted but he said she'll do and now was a wonderful Insight that m c he's still a monk because he realized what was going on

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 9:14 (to 10:01)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A young monk caught himself eyeing an ordinary girl in the temple and thinking 'she'll do'. The insight kept him a monk: he wanted the feeling of romance, not her. Worth noticing in any relationship. Are you loving the person, or chasing the excitement? Real love grows from seeing someone as they are.

In brief (our summary)

A now-senior monk honestly admits that as a young monk he'd sit in the temple and find himself eyeing a girl who came in — not particularly attractive, mousy hair — and think, 'She'll do.' That insight kept him a monk: what he wanted wasn't the person but the feeling of romance.

Teaching point

Romantic craving projects onto whoever is available; it's the feeling we're chasing, not the person.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Get Real | Ajahn Brahm | 12-06-2009 · 2009-07-07 · ▶ watch from 9:14 to 10:01 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'young mug' = young monk; 'that m c' = that monk (garbled).

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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