Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

'I would'

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Being Afraid | Ajahn Brahm | 16 March 2018

2 min read

Content note: names a private friend (Jeff Perry) — do not publish the name

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I was still a lay person at the time. I think some of you heard the story before that uh still yeah still at uh college at Cambridge and still just uh you know messing around in the world but you know just I was pretty much committed to being a Buddhist and maybe in the future being a monk. And then it was one of my friends was getting married. So, you know, we just all went to the the marriage and after the marriage ceremony, we're at the reception just all dressed in nice actually dressed in nice suits. Actually did wear a suit. I think I only wor once or twice anyway. I was not really into suits, but anyway, that uh and they were just, you know, messing around about 19 or 20 year olds. And then somebody asked who's going to be next and then we just pointed to one of my friends still a I know him really well. His name is Jeff. Jeff Perry his name was. If he's listened to this I'm sorry but this happened. He's a good mate. And so they said oh Jeff he'll probably be next. And then know all the the guys said ah no one will marry him. Yeah it's guys being guys. Okay. And just and then they pointed at me. You know, my lane name was Peter. Said, "Oh, Peter, he'll probably be next." And I got the same response. I know I would marry that man, Peter. But you know what happened next? There was this little girl, you know, she was standing right next to me and she whispered into my ear, I would. And I think that's the most scary moment in my life so far. I was terrified. I moved far away as possible and made sure for the rest of the night the next week I wasn't close to her. I don't know. It was really unfair. But, you know, I was only 19y old, 20-y old kid, you know, young man growing up. But that really terrified me. So, I think that was the most scared I've ever been.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 50:57 (to 53:05)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

At twenty, joking that nobody would marry him, the young Ajahn Brahm heard a girl whisper 'I would', and spent the rest of the night, and the next week, avoiding her. Asked what has frightened him most, that's his answer, with an apology to her. Laughing at your younger self takes the sting out of old fears.

In brief (our summary)

Asked in Q&A what he's been most afraid of: at a friend's wedding reception while at Cambridge, the 19- or 20-year-old lads joke about who'll marry next. Pointing at his friend Jeff: 'No one will marry him.' Pointing at Peter (his lay name): the same. Then a girl standing next to him whispers in his ear, 'I would.' Terrified, he keeps as far from her as possible for the rest of the night and the next week — the most scared he's ever been. He apologises to her now.

Teaching point

A self-mocking story of youthful fear — he 'married the Buddha'.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Being Afraid | Ajahn Brahm | 16 March 2018 · 2018-03-18 · ▶ watch from 50:57 to 53:05 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'lane name' = lay name (not changed).

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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