Stories for divorce
4 Buddhist wisdom stories for divorce from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- “I never stopped loving you, George”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Cockney friend of the monastery leaves his wife of about 40 years for a much younger woman; his wife is devastated. Some years later, split from the second partner, he visits…
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Just one which comes to my mind. This man, he was a good friend. He used to come to our monastery. He’s a bit of a Cockney. I was the only one who could really understand him when he came to our monastery. And, you know, after a while he decided he wanted to leave his wife. And he found another a girl much younger than him and he divorced his wife, went to live with this other girl. You know, he broke up. His wife was devastated. But later on, you know after three or four, five years, he was a good guy, you know he sort of split from this second wife. And about that time his first wife got very sick. And he went to visit her in hospital and held her hand when she died. She said “even though you left me, I never stopped loving you, George. I’d always forgive you.” And when I heard that, I thought, wow, that wife you had and he said, “I was so wrong to, to have, left you. I was stupid. I didn’t realise just how beautiful your love was. It was unconditional, even though I caused you pain. And just after about 40 years of marriage, I decided to, you know, go with somebody else.” I know the other girl, she’s a really good girl. You know you can’t really criticise people. But, that woman he married first of all, she was, she understood what love was, totally unconditional and forgiving.
- The embassy couples who got back togetherStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After his first book, opening with the two-bad-bricks story, becomes popular, Ajahn Brahm is invited to Bangkok: of four couples at the Australian Embassy with marital trouble,…
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I got this invitation to go to Bangkok. Four couples in the Australian Embassy in Bangkok had marital trouble. Two were divorced. They've gone through the divorce proceedings. Two were separated but not divorced yet. When they read that story, they came together again. Amazing, they were divorced. But they decided to come together again, separated ones came together again. And they wanted to see me. They want to say thank you. So they bought me an airline ticket to go to Bangkok, paid everything. So I gave a talk for the people in the Australian Embassy in Bangkok. Say thank you. It worked.
- The glass is already crackedAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Chah's simile, holding up a glass: it has a microscopic crack — the crack of impermanence. Because it will break if dropped or kicked, we care for it; if it were…
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This was a simile I just, I don't know, I give this every other week. The glass is cracked. Can you see the crack in the glass? I gave this at a funeral recently. Can you see the crack in the glass in the front? Because the crack is microscopic, that's why you can't see it. But it's there, this actually came from Ajahn Chah, this story. The crack is there because if I drop this or someone else kicks it, it will break. It's the crack of impermanence, anicca. I know this won't last. Because this won't last, because it's impermanent, that's why I care for it. I can't kick it or mistreat it, it will break. But if this was plastic, if it was unbreakable, permanent, I wouldn't need to care for it. I could kick it, drop it, squash it and it would just rebound again, being unbreakable. It's because it's breakable, that's why we care. Because relationships won't last. They're cracked from the very beginning, that's why we care for them. Always looking after them, just like we look after this cup or this glass, because we know it's fragile. Your body is fragile, it's cracked. One day it will break, you will die, that's why we care for it. So the idea of marriage, divorce, being karmic, it's because we never realise that match is cracked, we should have taken better care of it.
- The ninth weddingStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Visiting Seattle, Ajahn Sumedho meets an old school friend who invites him to her wedding — her ninth, or so. Why? She loves meeting a new man, dating, falling in love, the…
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It's one of the stories which Ajahn Sumedho told me a long time ago. He went to visit his home in Seattle where he was brought up, and he caught up with an old school friend of his. And the old school friend, oh great, you're here, I'm just about to get married, please come to my marriage ceremony. He said, you're getting old now, why are you getting married? No, this is not my first marriage, this is my ninth, or something like that. He said, why are you getting married again nine times? She said, well look, it's like this, I like meeting a new guy, dating, it's really exciting, and then falling in love, and that moment when he goes down on one knee and he proposes. I love that moment, it's just so beautiful, so romantic, and planning the wedding, getting all the guests in and a nice dress, I love that stuff. And the wedding itself, we look at each other with just really dewy eyes, smiling, he looks so handsome, and I have to dress up, look so beautiful, and we exchange our vows. That is so beautiful. I love that. It's what happens afterwards I don't like.