Chicken-shit currency — Ajahn Chah's prediction

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• Ajahn Chah's one word of English

  In brief: Back from a few weeks in London, Ajahn Chah, who spoke no English, is asked in Thai whether he learned any English words. Yes, one: “cup…

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  actually he did learn one word of English when he went to London for a few weeks when he came back we asked him in TI did you learn any English know any English words when you staying in L he said yeah I learned one word what was that cup of tea That's the only word could go pan lond he he that all the day cup of tea you want a cup of tea have a cup of tea

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• The hypnotist monk's donation box

  In brief: A new monk can't pay his temple's bills. A senior monk advises: close the doors, turn up the heat, give a boring monotone sermon, swing a…

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  this was a guy uh he was a a new monk. He started a new temple. has found it very very difficult to actually raise enough funds, you know, to pay the bills. And of course, you can understand why, you know, when somebody just starts out at temple, people don't know whether they're going to last. So why should you, you know, give donations when you don't know whether it's going to be used well. So he went to see a senior monk and a senior monk told him, "Well, try this technique. I tried this when I started out with my own temple. He said on a Friday night when you give a talk, make sure all the doors are closed, make sure there's no ventilation and make sure you turn the heat up so it gets very hot and stuffy. And when it's very hot and stuffy, give a boring sermon. The way to give a boring sermon, you teach it in a low tone, like a mono tone. I'm teaching a boring sermon now. And I'm sure many of you know what I'm going to say. And he said, "Then what to do when your audience are about to fall asleep, get out those old watches, you know, with the uh what they call them? Fob watches, I think. Get one of those fob watches. move it left to right, left to right, and hypnotize everybody. And once everybody's hypnotized, I say about 200 people in here. Once you're all hypnotized, then you give them the instruction. When you leave, don't forget to put donation in donation box. No coins, no fives, tens or 20s, only 50s and hundreds. He said, "I can't do that. That's illegal." And the senior monk said, "No, that's just encouraging good karma. It's good for people." So he he tried it and he made a fortune that day. He had lots of no 20s or tens or coins, just 50s and hundreds in the donation box. Worth a fortune. Imagine that. There's 200 people in here. Wow. So he decided he can't do that every day. So he waited until he needed some more money to pay the bills. And so he tried it again. He said, closed all the doors and all the windows, made it very stuffy and hot inside and started giving a boring sermon. And when people were falling asleep, he got out of his fob watch and started swinging it. But before they were hypnotized, he dropped it and it went smashed on the ground because it was surprise to him. He said the word. What did he say? I just repeated what you said. He said, "Oh shit." And that's what people did. Serves him right. a couple of weeks to clean up.

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• A Buddha to stop bullets

  In brief: A long-time supporter of Ajahn Chah, drafted into the Thai army, begs him for a blessed Buddha amulet to protect him from bullets — after…

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  even ajahn Chah the great master is this great story when one of his disciples had been around a long time was drafted into the Thai Army and there's always a lot of problems being in the army sometimes the skirmishes on the border or down the south of Thailand people actually get killed when he joined the army so you've got drafted in the army and he waited to see the very teacher said look can you please give me something to protect me from harm especially from bullets he said I know that you've got these amazing powers I'm sure if you could give me some amulet to wear around my necks a little Buddha to wear around my neck I'm sure that that will protect me from bullets so though we don't get into that you know this is not what a monk is supposed to do we're supposed to teach you how to live a good life and how to look after yourself and take responsibility for yourself you know to keep out of harm's way sort of being mindful being learns when you're in the army because a lot of times people get injured because of stupidity he said no you know there's always things go on go on I might be unlucky I didn't I please give me a Buddha statue and I've been looking after you for such a long time I come to the temple I give all these dollars in a donation box I give you food come on I'm only asking for them for Buddha to wear around my neck you could do that so the great brass said Oh Hey I will give you a Buddha statue to wear around your neck and he said I guarantee they were protected from bullets 100% and they thought wow this great monk with all his powers can bless a little ambulance a bullet a bullet proof ambulance and there was a movie about that bulletproof monk or something but anyway this was a real story I much probably bulletproof mic was was based on I'm not sure I never seen that movie but anyway he said okay I'll give you a Buddha to wear around your neck which will protect you from bullets oh thank you thank you thank you where is it and now John shall see that Big Buddha like the one behind me over here in the main hall put that around your neck and I guess it will stop any bullets

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• The general's holy water

  In brief: At a time when generals were the power behind the Thai government, a major general comes to Ajahn Chah's hut in Ubon asking for holy…

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  aent think I told that story when this General asked for holy water aent child would very rarely give holy water and one day agent child was a joker but sometimes I thought you really go too far cuz this day this General came up to him and I was there at his H so you know you hang around cuz it's great entertainment sometimes to see what aent child was going to do next and it's major general you know that now again like the generals were in power in Thailand this was a time when they were always in power they had I think a uh lay government but the generals were the power behind the scenes and so this big Major General came up to see aan sha in uban to ask for some holy water I said I Haven got any holy water said no please that child poor they called please some holy water so bow okay bow down and that he spout all this saliva in his General's head and rubbed it in and I thought my goodness you've gone too far this time magenta you really have and this General bought it he said oh s s s I've got real holy water know from the how stupid could you be that's what he did

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