Stories about money
7 Buddhist wisdom stories about money from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Chicken-shit currency — Ajahn Chah's predictionAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Chah predicts future currency will be pellets of chicken shit — bosses earn the most shit, IMF becomes International Manure Fund, governments promise more shit — value is what we…
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prediction. He used to say that in the future people will run out of paper to make bank notes and they will run out of metal to make coins. And so in the future they will use something very very common for their currency. They will use little pellets of chicken shit. And you'll go to work and the end of the work you'll be given a big bag of chicken shit depending on how hard you work. And your bosses will earn the most shit. And you would go to the bank to deposit and and see how much chicken shit you've got in the bank. And the IMF will be the International Manure Fund
- Income: nilStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Renewing his low-income health care card, Ajahn Brahm writes 'Nil' in every income box. The first time, the office wrote back asking him to explain how he supported himself:…
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A monk who every time I write off to renew my health care card, 'cause I'm low-income, when I write in all the boxes, "How much money do you earn a week?" "Nil." "How much money do you earn from rental property?" "Nil." "How much money do you earn from shares?" "Nil." "How much money do you earn from other sources?" "Nil." "Sum total of your yearly income?" "Nil." I love sending that form off [laughter]. When we first did it we'd get the letter back, "Can you please explain how you've supported yourself." And I said, "very wonderfully, very peacefully, and I'm fat.
- The hundred-baht wish listStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A grateful Thai supporter who knows the rules offers the young monk a 'mendicant allowance' of 100 baht for anything he personally wants. His mind goes blank, so he asks for a…
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Cos that happened to me many years ago, maybe over thirty years ago in Thailand, I had helped a man with some problems, and he was very grateful, he knew the rules, cos he was a Thai, been around the forest tradition a long time, so he came up to me and asked me, "Is there anything I can get for you? Just for you, not for the temple, one hundred baht." That's thirty-seven years ago, and these days, it's only worth about two or three dollars, but that to me was a lot of money. So you know, my mind went blank, as it often does, maybe I meditate too much, I don't know. But anyway, I couldn't think. And he was getting very impatient, and he had his work to go to. I came up with an idea, I said to him, "Why don't you come tomorrow morning? Tonight I'll think about what I want, and I'll write it down and give it to you tomorrow." He said, "Good idea - I'll be here about the same time tomorrow." So that night, after the evening meeting, chanting and meditation, I went back to my room, I lit a candle, cos there's no electricity - and I got out a old piece of paper and a pen, so I started thinking, "what do I want?" Straight away the pencil broke, so I said, actually - I need, not pencils, pencils are hopeless, I need like a pen. just a simple, biro pen or something. And as for the piece of paper, it's just a scrap piece of paper, I need a little exercise book - you know, nothing fancy, just a little exercise book, and also you know the candle is very, very difficult to write, it's bad for your eyes, just you know, reading or writing by candle light. What I wanted is one of these little oil lamps, little lamps you know, you see maybe on the boats, over here in Australia, just a little oil lamp, and a bit of kerosene, and talking about lights, my flash light was really terrible, and I needed a new flash light, and some batteries - and I put all of those things down. I suddenly realised one hundred baht, was not enough. And you know, it was so difficult to actually take any of those things off the list now, Cos now I thought about it, I don't know how I survived without them. I mean how can you survive, you know, and actually I needed some new sandals, you know, if I'm going to be walking through those forests, I needed some more new sandals, and actually talking about pieces of paper, I really needed to write to my family, I needed these aerograms. And soon, a thousand bahts was not enough. And every one of those items I put on the list, now was so important to me, I just could not scratch any one off. And that's when I had the insight, I realised what's this thing was doing to me. At that point, I screwed up that piece of paper, and I threw it in the waste bin, this little spittoon we had. And the following day, when that man came, I scolded him, "Don't you ever do that to me ever again. I was such a happy monk, before you gave me one hundred dollars. Or a hundred baht, now I had all these desires."
- The hypnotist monk's donation boxJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A new monk can't pay his temple's bills. A senior monk advises: close the doors, turn up the heat, give a boring monotone sermon, swing a fob watch and hypnotise everyone — 'when…
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this was a guy uh he was a a new monk. He started a new temple. has found it very very difficult to actually raise enough funds, you know, to pay the bills. And of course, you can understand why, you know, when somebody just starts out at temple, people don't know whether they're going to last. So why should you, you know, give donations when you don't know whether it's going to be used well. So he went to see a senior monk and a senior monk told him, "Well, try this technique. I tried this when I started out with my own temple. He said on a Friday night when you give a talk, make sure all the doors are closed, make sure there's no ventilation and make sure you turn the heat up so it gets very hot and stuffy. And when it's very hot and stuffy, give a boring sermon. The way to give a boring sermon, you teach it in a low tone, like a mono tone. I'm teaching a boring sermon now. And I'm sure many of you know what I'm going to say. And he said, "Then what to do when your audience are about to fall asleep, get out those old watches, you know, with the uh what they call them? Fob watches, I think. Get one of those fob watches. move it left to right, left to right, and hypnotize everybody. And once everybody's hypnotized, I say about 200 people in here. Once you're all hypnotized, then you give them the instruction. When you leave, don't forget to put donation in donation box. No coins, no fives, tens or 20s, only 50s and hundreds. He said, "I can't do that. That's illegal." And the senior monk said, "No, that's just encouraging good karma. It's good for people." So he he tried it and he made a fortune that day. He had lots of no 20s or tens or coins, just 50s and hundreds in the donation box. Worth a fortune. Imagine that. There's 200 people in here. Wow. So he decided he can't do that every day. So he waited until he needed some more money to pay the bills. And so he tried it again. He said, closed all the doors and all the windows, made it very stuffy and hot inside and started giving a boring sermon. And when people were falling asleep, he got out of his fob watch and started swinging it. But before they were hypnotized, he dropped it and it went smashed on the ground because it was surprise to him. He said the word. What did he say? I just repeated what you said. He said, "Oh shit." And that's what people did. Serves him right. a couple of weeks to clean up.
- The mugged tax ministerJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A gunman orders a man to hand over all his money. “Look, I'm the Minister of Taxation.” — “Oh, sorry, sir. Hand over MY money, then.” — “Fair enough.”
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he was a minister for taxation and he was walking back from some meeting and he got mugged this guy came up with a gun and told the minister of taxation He didn't know who he was. He said, "Hand over all your money." And the taxation minister said, "Look, I'm the minister of taxation." "Oh, sorry, sir," said the the the thief. He pointed the gun and "Hand over my money," said the thief. "Fair enough.
- The pound note that blew into the fireStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: In his poor London childhood, a gust blows his father's one-pound note off the shelf into the coal fire; his father burns his hand trying to save it and his mother weeps — it was…
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that I would do remember once that there must have been at nine or ten or eleven that my we were Legitimately poor because my father put a 1 pound note on this shelf above the coal fire They didn't have electric fires just have coal now to keep you warm during the really freezing winters and This mother was sitting down their kids were myself and my brother doing homework or something I don't know how this happened, but a gust of air Just took that one pound note and it fell into the fireplace and started burning And my father just tried to get it out. He burned his hand and my mother's just started crying. Oh weeping That was so much for them
- They emptied the donation box on New Year's DayStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: During the BSWA New Year's Day ceremony someone emptied the donation box. When people got upset Ajahn Brahm told them not to: it's only money — that is not what the centre is for.
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on this New Year's Day, our Buddhist Society got robbed. Somebody came in here while we're doing our New Year's day ceremony and emptied the donation box. Aww, wasn't that nice? I hope they really enjoyed all the money they got, and had a very good time with it. I told people at the time; when they're getting upset and angry. Don't get upset and angry. It's money. That's not what we're here for