Stories about love
17 Buddhist wisdom stories about love from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Dad always lost at cards on purposeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Poor though he was, his father gave pocket money by playing cards with the boys and always losing on purpose — so they spent an hour or two with him and left with the money. The…
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where we got our pocket money from we used to play little games of cards you know for money you know it was gambling but he would always lose he'd always lose on purpose cuz you know we knew I know from my brother and I that's the way we get our pocket money we'd have to spend an hour or two with our dad you know playing cards and we'd always win he'd always lose every time and we'd love that CU we know it was only fun in games it wasn't I and he know he always lost on purpose cuz that was the way he'd give his kids pocket money but we'd have to spend an hour or two of his of our time with him as well I love those occasions so it wasn't just okay here's know $10 or $20 it was actually spending time with our dad and then we got the money that's a beautiful thing thing to do and you know there the money wasn't that important it was important to me as a kid but what's really important was actually spending time with your mom and dad
- Floating above the paddy fieldsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: An Australian soldier in Vietnam, going to help an injured mate, steps on a landmine that blows off his legs. After the intense pain, he wrote, he found himself floating above…
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that was a story of one of the state mp no the government in peace a long time ago and now what was his name again but anyway he was in vietnam during the vietnam war australian soldier and he was helping one of his colleagues who was injured and as he went to help his colleague he stepped on a land mine and blew off his uh his legs and because he blew off his legs he described what happened next i remember reading the article which he wrote about this experience obviously immense pain but the next thing he noticed was so intense pain the next thing you notice in his words which i can always remember was floating above the paddy fields of vietnam without a care in the world one of the most happy peaceful blissful experiences of his life and of course this was written by a politician who was always trustworthy come on when they talk about worldly things maybe you can doubt what they're actually saying but this was actually real honestly describing what he felt one of the most blissful peaceful experiences of his life but then he recalled that his wife back here in perth had just given birth to his first child a son and the thought came up it is not a kind thing just to die for his wife who had just given birth he had to come back for her so he next thing he noticed was being pulled back into his body and when he was in his body it was enormous pain again so much that he uh fainted and when he came to again he was in the hospital getting treated starting the long journey to um being a recovery he had to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life and apparently that because of him in the federal parliament in canberra they did make sure there was adequate wheelchair access for everybody but anyway the important part of that story was just what happened when he left his body the first initial shock of the explosion which blew his legs off so peaceful so blissful so joyful
- Grandmother with dementia still knew the monkStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Near the end, grandmother has long dementia; in a UK ward she recognises Brahm at once while barely recognising his brother.
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many years ago now eight nine years ago when she finally passed away she had dementia for such a long time and once she passed away it was a kind of I felt kind of relieved and happy for her. If you ever seen people with like dementia that they can't sometimes they don't remember who you are. I always thought that I don't know there wasn't that many. In fact, I was the only one who went into the the the old people's dementia ward or Alzheimer's ward know with a bald head and a brown robe. I thought at least she can remember me cuz I was different than everybody else. But no, she didn't even remember me at all. But I do recall when my uh my grandmother had dementia too. I remember when I went to go and see her in a sort of a ward in UK just outside of London. When I went in to see her, I went in with her with my brother. My brother lives in London. And so he was looking after her, going to visit her every week. And I'd only go once every three or four years whenever I could get into England because I was in a busy year. I remember just going to see my grandmother and as soon as she saw me, she recognized me straight away
- 'He's not going' — then 'You go'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a parents' evening when Ajahn Brahm was about 14, his maths teacher told his father the boy was doing so well he might go to Cambridge. His father — a sick man from a poor…
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I must have been about 14 and that we had you know the parents uh teachers meeting and I remember my math teacher he told my father that I was doing really well at school too well as far as my father was concerned there was a good chance said my math teacher that your son would go to Cambridge university and my father apparently said no he's not going and they had a standoff. I heard this, you know, because all the other uh parents saw this and they told their children, their children told me the following day. They almost had a fight. All it and apparently there was a movie about a young boy in Newcastle who wanted to be a ballet, a ballet star, Billy something or other. But anyway, and apparently there the person who was teaching him saw his talent argu with the father because in that part of I think it was a mining of of a minor and boys don't do ballet in Newcastle and where I came from boys don't go to Cambridge they I don't know what I'm supposed to do but anyway that a but it was wonderful to actually to see that sort of the tension that expecting your son to, you know, be close to you forever in the same social orbit. Being able to go to the pub with him, talk about football and whatever else, you know, people would talk about, but not sort of go too far away from your father. He loved me. He didn't want to lose me. But nevertheless, just after one day, no, you go.
- “Make him fall in love again — then divorce him”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Singapore woman, convinced her husband has a mistress, tells a marriage counsellor she just wants a divorce. The counsellor asks: if you divorce him now, will he be happy or…
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Look at this story, this is a great story told to me by a marriage counselor in Singapore. She had a client, her client was really, lost all of her love for her husband who was coming home late from work, she suspected he had a mistress, and he wouldn't sort of admit anything, the relationship was so on the rocks, it was almost as fast to the bottom of the sea as the Titanic. But she went to the marriage counselor, she said I want to get a divorce. And the marriage counselor very skillfully said, “does he love you?” then “No! Of course he doesn't love me”. Well then, said the counselor, “if you divorce him now he'll be very happy. Is that what you want?” “No!” [laughter] “So here's the plan - see if you can make him love you again - you know, dress up, be kind, be charming, you know, use all of your skills as a woman to win him back and then when he falls in love with you again then divorce him!” (laughter). She says “yeah, yeah! that's the way to treat men”. So that was the plan. So, she did what she was suggested, she brought some new clothes, had a nice sort of makeover sort of was really kind even though he came home late, she's really charming. And every week she'd either call or visit the counselor. "How's it going?" She said actually it's beginning to work, he's coming home earlier and he’s actually being nice to me. She said, "great keep on going, the plan's working." And as the weeks went past he came home early, was more friendly with her, started cuddling and kissing her and everything, and then she never called the counselor any more. And so the counselor after a month called the client said “what's happening? Is he in love with you yet?” “Yeah, he is”. The counselor said: “Great! Time to divorce him!” “Oh no...he’s so nice now.” [laughter] Mission accomplished. That was the plan all along.
- Mum's blessing at seventeenStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At seventeen, with a sleeping bag and his guitar, he hitchhiked from London to North Africa to explore the world. It must have driven his mother crazy, but she gave him her…
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I remember what my poor old mum, when I was seventeen, I shouldn't give all the young men here ideas, but I got too late now, seventeen, I had a sleeping bag, my guitar, and I went hitchhiking from London over to North Africa. Must have driven my mum crazy, but off I went to explore the world, and she gave me her blessing, what a courageous thing that was,
- New monks ask mum and dad for forgivenessStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At Bodhinyana ordinations the candidates bow three times to their parents and ask forgiveness for everything they did and failed to do growing up. Mothers — and often fathers —…
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when the candidates usually get their mothers and fathers along as well they actually bow down to their mum and their dad give them three bells they never done that when they were their children at home working they bow down to their mum and dad and they say mum dad whatever i've done over the time you've been my parents since the earliest age i ask your forgiveness things which i didn't do which i should have done i'm trying my best please forgive me and you always see especially the mother but often the father as well you'll see tears coming out of their eyes because it's sincere it's honest they realize they always love their children but the fact that their children have the guts and the sincerity to say sorry it's beautiful and in all the years which i've been amok
- 'Now I've got you exactly where I want you'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A monk visiting his family in Chicago slips on the ice and breaks his leg. When his mother comes into the hospital room, he has never seen her smile so much. 'Now, son, I've got…
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Like one of these monks, he was visiting his family over in Chicago years ago. I know Chicago is can be really cold, very windy, and when it does get icy, it's very, very slippy in Chicago. He slipped over and he did broke his leg, break his leg. And he told me afterwards he was taken to hospital with a broken leg. And of course, you know, they contacted his mother who lived in Chicago. And when she came into the room to see her son with a broken leg, he told me he never seen his mother smile so much. She was so happy. How can you be happy when your son's in pain and broken his leg? And she said, "Now, son, I've got you exactly where I want you. You can't go back to Thailand and and become a monk or or Sri Lanka and just disappear in some cave somewhere. You're in the hospital. You can't go anywhere. Now, I'm going to mother you whether you like it or not.
- 'Please tell Julie how much I love her'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A doctor who attends the Buddhist Society told Ajahn Brahm of a dying patient (he thinks at Royal Perth) who had given a list of close family to call. The patient hadn't been…
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I have known so many people comas, dementia haven't known their children for 3 or 4 years last minutes before they pass away Hey John where have you been all this time Mama I have been with you the last few years. Have you? They remember. Clarity at the last moment when the citta taken over rather than the brain. Thank you Ajahn. Terminal lucidity it is called; they even got a name for it
- “Steve, you can die”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Visiting a dying man, Steve, Ajahn Brahm senses something is holding him back and asks his partner Jenny (present in the audience) whether she has given him permission to die.…
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This lady sitting in front of me who taught me something once when her husband died. I remember to this moment Jenny and I always will with Steve. When I came to see you Steve was dying but there was something stopping him and I told you 'have you given Steve permission to die?' Remember that time? And you did and it's one of those memorable experiences, she jumped up on the bed, hugged her partner whom she loved dearly and said 'Steve you can die, I give you permission to go'
- Sunsets need cloudsAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Simile from the hills at Serpentine: the best sunsets come when there's cloud or dust in the sky; the imperfections spread the light into crimsons and gold. Without them the…
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Sometimes there are some very glorious sunsets. But the best sunsets are always when there's a cloud in the sky, or when there's some dust from a hot day, `a windy day. As it's the dust, it's the imperfections, which spread the light into these glorious crimsons and gold. When they're not there, the sunset isn't beautiful. It's imperfection, which is the cause of beauty. It's imperfection which creates this beauty in our world.
- The father who carried his son through the raceStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: From a video someone sent him: an American father always takes his autistic son with him on Ironman-type runs — 30 km through rain and up mountains, the son on his back — and the…
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there was this one American guy. He had a son who was autistic, and this man would go on these - the Iron Man runs and stuff – he’d always take his son with him. He was running like 30 kilometres through the rain or up mountains and stuff; his son would be on his back. He'd carry him everywhere. And you could see the look on the son's face. Just the joy of when he finished the race, it was inspiring! That son was just so close to his dad. His dad was doing things and you could see just the joy on that son's face. He was autistic. Brilliant.
- The ghost dog who brought back the ringStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman living alone with her beloved dog loses a sentimental ring in a park and can't find it after hours of searching. Days later the dog dies. She keeps hearing its…
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One of those ghost stories was a lady, I'm not sure if she's here this evening, but she told me this story a long time ago. She was a uh lived by herself. No, not really by herself. You know, she didn't have any any other human friends. She had her dog. And she told me here in front here just after a Friday night talk she said that uh you know she loved her dog her dog and her was you know basically the the contents of the house and she said one day she would taking her dog for a walk in the the park or the reserve and she don't know h didn't know how this happened but she lost her fingering you know in the in the park. As soon as she came home she realized she'd lost this ring. It wasn't expensive, but it had sentimental value. So, she immediately returned, traced her steps trying to find her fingering. She looked everywhere, but in a in a park, there's just too many twigs and leaves and grass. You just can't find it. It's hard enough to find things in your house, let alone in a park. So, after a couple of hours, she gave up and then she just came home. Few days later, her dog died. And of course she was devastated because that was the the being she was close to, she loved very much. And she swore to me in front here saying, "Absolutely honest, Ajam Brah, I won't lie to you, not a Buddhist monk. I heard that dog many times in my house barking. I couldn't see it, but I heard it." And if you've had a pet dog, you know its bark. You know its bark is different than any other dog. You recognize that was my dog. She's heard it many, many times. It was always behind a door around a corner and she'd rush around the corner, try and open the door. She could never see it. She could hear it though. But she was really wanting so much to see the dog that one day she was right in front of her front door inside the house and she heard the dog barking just outside the front door of her house and she was right there. So she immediately opened the door trying to get a glimpse of her dear dog. No one was there, completely empty. But she heard the sound there. And that's when she looked down at the welcome mat. And right in the middle of the welcome mat was her fingering. It was a dog who found her ring once. It was a ghost. True story.
- The parrot that kept vigilStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A gardener coming to Bodhinyana each day noticed, early one morning at the corner of Kingsbury Drive and the South Western Highway, a parrot on a branch looking down at a dead…
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some little time before, we had a gardener who was coming up every day to do some work in Bodhinyana, and he told me the corner of Kingsbury Drive and the South Western Highway, he just noticed as he came early one morning, not much traffic, there was a parrot, was on the branch of a tree, looking down at a dead parrot, which had been hit by a car, maybe early that morning, and when he finished work, he noticed that parrot was still there, looking down, hadn't moved. The next morning, the parrot was still on the tree, looking down. About three or four days, the parrot hadn't moved, looking down at the dead parrot on the side of the road. If that wasn't grief, I don't know what is.
- The tree and the childStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A tree gives a boy twigs for a treehouse, fruit for university and a wedding, branches for a house, then its trunk for a carpentry business; years later the old man returns only…
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There was this huge tree: mature, big, full of green leaves, in a forest close by to where a child lived. And the child would spend many days on the weekend and holidays climbing up that tree because it had these low branches you could climb up very easily, sitting in the tree, sort of playing games in the tree because he went up into that tree so often, the tree actually... I'm always a poser. (LAUGHTER) Thank you. The tree...(LAUGHTER) You may as well have fun in life. The nuns, as well! You want one just of me? I'm just fed up now. (LAUGHTER) So the tree, you know, many times I've taught retreats and a couple of times on the retreat, there have been supermodels... It's true. I was teaching this retreat over in Kuala Lumpur, and they told me this very famous Malaysian supermodel was on my retreat. And, you know, she looked really nice apparently, but she got very fed up at the end of the retreat, and she complained at the end of the retreat because at the end of the retreat, no one wanted to take a photograph of her; they only wanted to take photographs of me. (LAUGHTER) I don't know why she got upset of that. That's true story; they told me she was really pissed off. And I can't understand why people want to take photographs of me Anyway, but never mind there we go. Anyway back to the tree. So there was this tree and the kid used to love climbing it and one day, the little child thought it would be nice if I could do something more in this tree and you know, this tree trees are beings, you can't just say that, you know, haven't got any consciousness; the tree could communicate with this little kid and say why don't you take some of my branches and build a little treehouse? And the kid got this idea and built this really nice little tree house up in the tree. And even though it meant breaking off twigs, the tree was actually quite happy that, you know its friend—this little kid— could make a wonderful tree house in the top of the tree or in the middle of the tree. He could spend even more time in the tree because the tree actually loved this little kid. And so the kid would play and spend a lot of time in the little tree house. And after awhile, you know, the kid had to go to school and he spent less and less time in the tree, and the tree house started to fall apart, and the tree was actually quite sad. Then, one day, the kid came back again, but now he was a teenager and the tree said, "Oh, thank you, you're coming back again. Look! Even the old tree house is falling apart, but there's many other branches; you can make another tree house; a bigger one now you've grown up." And the kid said to the tree —the tree could understand the kid— He said, "No, I don't need a tree house anymore; I'm too big for that now. I'm going to university soon and I can't really afford it. I don't know what to do." And the tree said, "Look, there's lots and lots of fruit coming soon because I'm coming to that point where I'm going to make lots of fruit. I'm going to make lots for you so please take the fruit, and go and sell it, and with the money you make from the fruit you can actually go and pay your university fees." So the tree put forth extra effort that year and got so much fruit and the kid collected all of it, picked every last fruit, and went to sell it, and that was how he managed to get into that first year of university. And every year afterwards, the tree got more fruit every year, really putting more effort, and that's the way the kid got through university. And that really tired out the tree. And after the fourth year, the kid came back again and the tree said, "Do you want some more fruit?" He said, "I'm in big trouble now," He said, "I'm going to get married and I don't know how on earth I'm going to pay for all of this." And the tree said, "Look, we're friends. I've known you since you were small. I'm going to get double fruit this year. You just come back in a few weeks and just see." And this poor tree put every bit of energy and effort and life it had to get so much fruit, and it almost killed it to produce so much fruit. But the kid came along and it was so much fruit, he collected it all, sold it all and had enough money to actually to get married. And afterwards, the poor tree was actually badly injured, wounded; it lost all its energy just working so hard to make more fruit than it really should have done. But nevertheless, the tree was happy; it helped its friend. But as for the kid, didn't come back again for two or three years. When he did come back, he said, "I need something more now: I'm going to have a baby soon, I need a house. And the tree said, "I can't produce any more fruit; I was damaged producing that double fruit last time," "But," said the tree, "I've got these very big branches, take those branches and build yourself a house." And the kid thought, "But it will really damage you," He said, "No, no, I really would want you to have these branches. Come tomorrow with a saw; take this one and this one—these are very big branches lots of very strong wood; you can build a wonderful house. So the kid came the next day and saw most of the big branches off the tree. Without those branches couldn't have any twigs, couldn't have any leaves, couldn't have any fruit— that almost killed that tree. But the tree was very happy; managed to supply this beautiful wood so the friend could build a house for their family. Never saw the kid for another four or five years, and the tree was half-dead, anyway. But the kid came back again, now about 30, and said, "Tree, I hate to say this but I need something more from you: I'm starting a business now, carpentry business, making furniture— can I please take your trunk?" And the tree said, "That's all I've got left, but I'll be so happy to give it to you because I really care for you; I want you to do well in life. You got a kid. You got a family. You do need something to feed your kids and look after your family and buy things for them and send them to good schools. Come and take my trunk; it's very good; it's really strong inside." So the next day, the kid sawed the trunk of the tree, took it away and started his business. And the tree never saw him for about 30, 40 years. You know just because you take the trunk down doesn't mean the tree dies. You know we had a Bodhi Tree at Bodhinyana, and we had a big fire in 1991, and we thought the tree had died. For 3 years, nothing was happening, and I really thought it had gone. And after 3 years being dormant, it started to put forth shoots; the roots underground was very obviously damaged by the huge bushfire, but was still alive, still had a bit of energy left, and built up that energy, waiting for the 3 years before it could put forth shoots. The tree's still there now many years later. So, many years later, the old child came again; he was an old man now. And he said, "I've just come back here for nostalgia; remember all those wonderful days I had when I was a young, kid climbing up you. I remember all those wonderful things which you helped me with: you gave me your twigs to make a nice little tree house —I had so much fun making the tree house and living in you; I remember all the fruit you gave me to go to university; the incredible amount of fruit you gave me, which almost killed you, so I could get married; and the branches which I made my house out of and even the trunk which made me have a business which was quite successful." He said, "But now I haven't come to ask you for anything." The tree said, "Pretty good job because there's nothing else to give." (LAUGHTER) "But, I just come to say thank you; I've had a wonderful life thanks to you." And the old tree said, "Actually, I have still got something to give you: you're very old now and you need to rest. Lay down your head on my roots and I can just support you just for a few more times." So the kid, now an old man, laid his head on the roots of this tree, which had helped him all his life, and fell into a nice, quiet sleep, and the tree was so happy. That is a simile— the tree stands for your parents, your mom and dad, who will give everything for you, Just like the tree gave little twigs so the kid could build a little tree house— how many of you have had little children and they climb all over you, pulling your hair, putting their feet in your mouth or whatever it is, and you love it; you're just so happy to have your kids just play with you. And then, later on, when they go to university you just work so hard, saving money, getting loans from the bank which you can't really afford, just to make sure they get a good education. When they get married— last Sunday, I performed two marriage services, and you see the parents just so proud; they'd give anything just to see their daughter, their son, just so happy. And the tree would give just twice as much fruit as it could possibly afford because it just loved seeing the children happy. And, of course, building a house— where did your deposit come from for many of you? Your mom and dad, even though it's their superannuation they cash it in for you, help you with your business all your life. And in the end, all they really want is for you to lay down your head on their lap because they will love you forever; no matter what you ask for, even if it kills them, they give it to you. That tree are your parents and you are that little boy; you are that student; you are that boy about to get married, wanting a house, starting a job, Just wanting a rest— they're just so happy just to see you. That is my wonderful simile of giving. What did the tree get out of that? It just get cut down and killed but did the tree ever want anything else? Just to be able to give. That is my answer when people say, "Oh, I don't get anything back in return except shit when I give." Exactly! That is why we give; that is a joy of giving; that is the wonderful thing about sacrificing, giving to people you love, you care for —and that can be anyone— you don't expect anything back in return; in fact, if you do get something back in return, it's not giving, it's business
- “We love you, Dad”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two daughters sit holding their comatose father's hands in a Perth hospital. After his last breath he opens his eyes, sits up and looks at them; in unplanned unison they say “We…
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there's a person who comes here regular I'm not sure if they're here tonight they told me the story of they were with their father here in Perth he was dying and she was with her sister that was sitting on either side of the bed holding their father's hand he was in a coma hadn't sort of spoken for many many hours or a day or two I'm not sure and they were just waiting for him to die just waiting for that last breath to go out and not come in again holding his hand and of course you never know when that moment's going to happen I've been there with people and sometimes you're waiting there for hours and they seem as if their last breath and you think that's it and then suddenly they breathe in again and at this particular case it was his last breath he stopped breathing but then he opened his eyes and he leaned up from his bed and looked around at his two sisters on either two daughters on either side and they said that without any plan they said in perfect synchronicity we love you Dad and then he closed his eyes and passed away but what really would took their uh took them by surprise was that even though he was been in a coma for such a long time even though he was not supposed to be able to see or feel the last minute he did he looked them in the eye and they could speak to him the last words
- “What's the Buddhist idea of God?”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At the same chaplains' conference, a well-known Jesuit (Frank Brennan, Ajahn Brahm thinks) asks him what Buddhists mean by God. Rather than quote scripture, Ajahn Brahm points to…
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But the same point, I think it was... the fellow is quite well known, Frank Brennan, I think he is quite famous, I think he is a Jesuit based over in East. And he asked me this question just afterwards, He asked, "What's the Buddhist idea of a God?" So I took it deeper rather than just quoting the scriptures. And I said, "Well look, the fellow sitting next to me, Abbot Placid, I've known him for such a long time. And we have these great discussions about Buddhism and Christianity and spiritual stuff. And I really respect him I never look down upon him. And I said one thing which he once... not told me once but used to tell me many, many times, he said, one of his core beliefs; one of the things which drove him throughout his life was the realization he said that everybody, everybody was searching for God. Now that's what he said, I respect this guy. So I said, Let's take that statement from someone I respect. So what was I searching for? What are you searching? What are people actually searching for in life? What people are searching for in life is truth, meaning, love, peace, kindness. Isn't that what you're coming here for? What sort of drives you in your life? The search for truth, love, peace, contentment. He said well, if this fellow sitting next to me said everyone is searching for God and this is what people are searching for. And that's what God must mean. So in Buddhism, I said, God means peace, love, contentment, fulfillment. Call 'that' God. I said Yeah, I believe in that. And I felt Father Frank Brennan was quite happy and satisfied with that. He said that was an answer which was meaningful.