Story · Ajahn Brahm

The father who carried his son through the race

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Give Yourself Peace, Kindness and Forgiveness | Ajahn Brahm | 29 January 2021

1 min read

Content note: possibly inaccurate details (may be Team Hoyt — Rick Hoyt had cerebral palsy and was pushed/pulled, not carried) — unverified

there was this one American guy. He had a son who was autistic, and this man would go on these - the Iron Man runs and stuff – he’d always take his son with him. He was running like 30 kilometres through the rain or up mountains and stuff; his son would be on his back. He'd carry him everywhere. And you could see the look on the son's face. Just the joy of when he finished the race, it was inspiring! That son was just so close to his dad. His dad was doing things and you could see just the joy on that son's face. He was autistic. Brilliant.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 55:49 (to 56:43)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

In a video Ajahn Brahm remembers, a father takes his son with him on punishing endurance races, and the boy's joy at the finish is unforgettable. The details may be hazy; the spirit isn't. Supporting someone who is different is about everyone together, the whole family, widening what we can embrace.

In brief (our summary)

From a video someone sent him: an American father always takes his autistic son with him on Ironman-type runs — 30 km through rain and up mountains, the son on his back — and the joy on the son's face at the finish is inspiring.

Teaching point

Supporting someone who is different is about 'us', the whole family, not one person.

When this story may help

parenting a child with autism
caring for a disabled family member

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Give Yourself Peace, Kindness and Forgiveness | Ajahn Brahm | 29 January 2021 · 2021-01-29 · ▶ watch from 55:49 to 56:43 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

The paper lotus on the shrine
In brief: In a Thai village a young woman, brain-damaged from birth, cannot speak but grunts, and her friends understand every grunt; she joins in…
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“We love you, Dad”
In brief: Two daughters sit holding their comatose father's hands in a Perth hospital. After his last breath he opens his eyes, sits up and looks at…
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there's a person who comes here regular I'm not sure if they're here tonight they told me the story of they were with their father here in Perth he was dying and she was with her sister that was sitting on either side of the bed holding their father's hand he was in a coma hadn't sort of spoken for many many hours or a day or two I'm not sure and they were just waiting for him to die just waiting for that last breath to go out and not come in again holding his hand and of course you never know when that moment's going to happen I've been there with people and sometimes you're waiting there for hours and they seem as if their last breath and you think that's it and then suddenly they breathe in again and at this particular case it was his last breath he stopped breathing but then he opened his eyes and he leaned up from his bed and looked around at his two sisters on either two daughters on either side and they said that without any plan they said in perfect synchronicity we love you Dad and then he closed his eyes and passed away but what really would took their uh took them by surprise was that even though he was been in a coma for such a long time even though he was not supposed to be able to see or feel the last minute he did he looked them in the eye and they could speak to him the last words
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'Now I've got you exactly where I want you'
In brief: A monk visiting his family in Chicago slips on the ice and breaks his leg. When his mother comes into the hospital room, he has never seen…
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Like one of these monks, he was visiting his family over in Chicago years ago. I know Chicago is can be really cold, very windy, and when it does get icy, it's very, very slippy in Chicago. He slipped over and he did broke his leg, break his leg. And he told me afterwards he was taken to hospital with a broken leg. And of course, you know, they contacted his mother who lived in Chicago. And when she came into the room to see her son with a broken leg, he told me he never seen his mother smile so much. She was so happy. How can you be happy when your son's in pain and broken his leg? And she said, "Now, son, I've got you exactly where I want you. You can't go back to Thailand and and become a monk or or Sri Lanka and just disappear in some cave somewhere. You're in the hospital. You can't go anywhere. Now, I'm going to mother you whether you like it or not.
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'He's not going' — then 'You go'
In brief: At a parents' evening when Ajahn Brahm was about 14, his maths teacher told his father the boy was doing so well he might go to Cambridge.…
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I must have been about 14 and that we had you know the parents uh teachers meeting and I remember my math teacher he told my father that I was doing really well at school too well as far as my father was concerned there was a good chance said my math teacher that your son would go to Cambridge university and my father apparently said no he's not going and they had a standoff. I heard this, you know, because all the other uh parents saw this and they told their children, their children told me the following day. They almost had a fight. All it and apparently there was a movie about a young boy in Newcastle who wanted to be a ballet, a ballet star, Billy something or other. But anyway, and apparently there the person who was teaching him saw his talent argu with the father because in that part of I think it was a mining of of a minor and boys don't do ballet in Newcastle and where I came from boys don't go to Cambridge they I don't know what I'm supposed to do but anyway that a but it was wonderful to actually to see that sort of the tension that expecting your son to, you know, be close to you forever in the same social orbit. Being able to go to the pub with him, talk about football and whatever else, you know, people would talk about, but not sort of go too far away from your father. He loved me. He didn't want to lose me. But nevertheless, just after one day, no, you go.
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The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)