Stories about listening
14 Buddhist wisdom stories about listening from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- A dustbin with a hole in the bottomAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Chah's simile: when people dump on you, think of yourself as a dustbin and let them put their rubbish in — but be a dustbin with a hole in the bottom. Accept it all, keep…
Read full story
he said when people dump on you aam you must think think of yourself like a Dustbin like a trash can and you must allow people to put all their rubbish into you look people tell me about their marriage problems I became a monk to get away from that and now and now what happens you know Denis was saying about you know making Hello magazine that's Hello magazine Asian Edition because I did a celebrity Marriage over there so I I can't even Escape they make me sort of do the marriages with Dennis and all but anyway I don't mind I enjoy this stuff it's good fun but what happens is he said you have to be a rubbish bin a trash can but the most important thing when you are a trash can is be a trash can a rubbish bin with a hole in the bottom that's the most important so you accept all the rubbish but you keep nothing it just goes right out afterwards might be a rubbish bin with a hole in the bottom which means you're always empty for the next person who comes down here and dumps some more rubbish inside of you
- Ask if she's still thereStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Counseling a woman whose mother is on life support, he advises sitting, holding the hand and asking whether she is still there. In a Chinese family in Malaysia/Singapore the…
Read full story
suppose your mother is in a coma in hospital for several months and there's no real possibility of of any cure and someone ask you should we turn off the ventilator should we turn off the life support system and as a Buddhist what should you you do cuz that's your mother as I said this her jaw dropped and she said wow you're good because her mother was in the hospital on a life support system in a coma and she'd been like that for quite a while I sort of nailed it but of course the advice which I give which is important for everyone to know is that if that's your mother or anyone close to you sit next to her hold her hand and even though she's in a coma ask her if she's there if she wants to go you know there's a lot of difference between a person who is just a dead body being kept Alive by the machines and a being who's still in that body just struggling to survive and live on there's a lot of difference there and if that's someone you love and know you can feel it you can feel that there's somebody there and if there's somebody there keep the venator going there's one of the uh people I know she told her story of what it was like being in a coma it's a great story because she made a full recovery and goes around telling her story in in public forums about what it's like to be in a coma for many days she said she went to a very very dark black place don't know for how long Timeless I think it was actually for several weeks I said what brought her back she said she heard the sound of Temple Bells by Buddhist temple bells that's how she described it where that came from who knows but that brought her out of the that darkness and soon into her body and when she was in that body she could not speak or move but she could see hear and feel everything which was going on around her but not being able to respond and after a while she saw her sons come to visit which of course delighted her but she could not say that she was being delighted she had no way of responding to what they said to their kisses or holding their hand but she got terrified when the doctor came and said that their mother had no chance of coming out of the coma and ask the children the nearest of kin for permission to turn off the life support she heard them saying that and she was thinking no I'm still here here don't turn it off but she couldn't move her mouth nor any other part of the body being in Singapore or it could have been I think it was in Malaysia sorry being a Chinese family the children said well it's the eldest son's decision and the eldest son said no don't leave me alone I want your help on this but of course no one wants to make such a decision to turn off the machine of your own mother so they passed her back to the eldest son and he had to choose whether his mother would die right there and of course she could not move her body certainly not her lips not even her eyes but she could certainly move her mind and she wished and willed and concentrated her mind to say say son don't don't don't I'm here and the son said no give her another day in that 24 hours she was able to move her hand enough to show the doctor that something was happening a recovery seemed to be happening and of course because you could tell that story she did make a total recovery and you wouldn't think that she had been in that situation if you saw her today
- No such thing as a sudden heart attackStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Cardiologist summary: heart attacks don't come out of the blue — many body signals precede the big one; people aren't listening.
Read full story
cardiologist and he said and I really took this on board he said that there was no such thing as a sudden heart attack it does not come as they say out of the blue before you have a heart attack you have many signals which the heart gives you gives you before the big one comes but you're not listening to them you're not here not aware of your body
- Paddington crash — those who skipped counselling did betterStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Paddington rush-hour crash; free counselling offered; follow-up finds (adjusted for severity) those who declined counselling often fared better — anecdote on not forcing talk.
Read full story
Paddington Station there was a fault in the signals and an incoming uh rush hour train uh slammed into an outgoing train. They were on the same track. These sorts of things should never happen, but of course Murphy's law always happens. If it can happen, it does happen. Rarely. So, there was this huge train crash outside of Paddington Station. Many people died and more people were injured. And many people were traumatized witnessing this. But the interesting part of this anecdote was that you know the British government they did offer free counseling to anybody who was involved in that tragedy. And then some very smart psychologists they did a follow-up. They got as many people as they could who'd been through that counseling. And those people who refused to go through the counseling. It was all offered to them for free. And of course they adjusted their findings to you know how seriously they were injured or how close they were to that tragedy, what they actually saw. And their results were so convincing. The people who depe
- Six cooks talking, no one listeningStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Passing the Serpentine monastery kitchen one morning, Ajahn Brahm notices six Thai ladies preparing the meal — all six with their mouths open, talking. If all six were talking,…
Read full story
One of the stories I often mention in my meditation retreats is a story of our monastery down Serpentine one day passing by the kitchen when people were making the meal for the morning there was I think six Thai Ladies there was only Thai Ladies this day it's the same when Sri Lankan women or men or anybody else is serving the food or making the food for us that particular day had to be six women in our kitchen and I noticed all six women had their mouths open talking There were only six in the kitchen if the six people were talking, I wondered who was left to do the listening And the answer was no one was doing the listening because everyone was busy doing the talking
- The caller who threatened the monksStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman phones the monastery cursing and threatening to come with a rifle; Ajahn Brahm answers only with kindness, she says he alone understands her, calms down and tells him…
Read full story
I remember this one lady, no other monk would be able to talk with her, and she would come on the telephone...I think [?] knows who I'm talking about, and she would swear, F-words, bloody words, "Bloody monks, I'm going to come up there with an M-16 and shoot you all." I said, "OK, that's a nice thing to do." [laughter] Ajahn: I understood her. No, she's a really difficult person, but because I never reacted back, because I always react in kindness, she always loved me and said, "You're the only person who understands me," and of course she never came to the monastery with an M-16 to shoot us all. She was just taking out her venom on someone who would listen and not take it seriously. I could understand where she was coming from, the pain of her life, the difficulties of her life and embracing her for who she was. Then she'd calm down, become very peaceful and tell me all about her life, a very painful difficult life. She was not a problem. She was not a difficulty.
- The intern's pager and the one-or-two-second listenStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A distraught intern told Ajahn Brahm he had resuscitated a cardiac-arrest patient a few seconds too late, leaving permanent brain damage and a vegetative body. Next time, Brahm…
Read full story
his little pager beeped it's one of his patients was having a cardiac arrest he ran as fast as he could into the ward into the room next to the bedside and resuscitated him but not quick enough so there was permanent brain damage on this patient maybe 30 seconds later since earlier and he could have actually got him back to a proper life but his actions had confined this man into this terrible space an in-between world of life and death where his body could survive for many many more years but he would never be never be able to speak never be able to uh talk to people or listen to people he was like in a vegetative state but otherwise perfectly okay and he felt so guilty that his actions had confined this man into a state between life and death with no real quality of life but in that prison of his body for probably many more years and so he came and asked me of all people what should I do next time that happens I'm a monk I'm not a doctor but I know it a lot because I know how to listen and feel what I told him next time that happens it will happen again get there as soon as you can resuscitate spend one or two seconds that's all listen feel get your mind still anyone can do that for a few seconds find it difficult if I just say and it's really important just making my own peaceful stop thinking and listen feel and what you feel if you feel yeah resuscitate go for it if you feel too late leave it alone follow that and I find that that would always be very very very helpful for you
- The minister who never stopped talkingStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A king cannot get any business done because one minister talks on and on in every session. Walking in his garden, the king sees a disabled man in a wheelchair who earns coins…
Read full story
the first story is a story from an old text called the Dharma part Comm which I adapted for the book opening the door of your heart it's very rare I tell this story and that's a story of the politician you know how much politicians speak and actually met with minist of immigration this afternoon but he's a nice guy I got to say this in public because I wanted to do something for our visus so that's the first skillful speech always speak nice things about people in power always suck up to the boss in your office and you always do well in life but this Minister he was one of these people who would never shut up as soon as they started discussing something he would get up and he go on and on and on and on and on and no one could get a word in edge wise and you may know people like that either in your work or in your home people can just not shut up so in those days know the government was run by a king so the King was like the prime minister or the president and he was at his wits end trying to shut up this Minister and after one of these sessions you get nothing done cuz this guy goes on and on and on thinks he's he knows everything so he just went out for a walk in his garden and in the public part of his garden he saw a group of kids who are laughing and crappy so he went to investigate and there he saw there was a disabled man in a wheelchair and the kids were giving him money and what he was doing was the kids would point to a bush or a tree and this guy had this old toy called a peashooter I had a PE shooter when I was a kid it was like a tube and you put little peas in it and you blow them you know you know just usually the kids you didn't like to no it's only little sting it didn't really hurt I got enough pece blown at me it was just like a little game the kids would play but this guy he was so skilled now when you're disabled in one area you build up your schools in the other area they will point to a tree and say chicken and with his Peach should and every pee would take off a leaf and this is a way he would sculpt trees into like a chicken or like an elephant now you've been to these Gardens where people actually shape trees they sculpt trees into all these beautiful animals and he would do this with the peu and the kids were just so impressed by this they give him a few a few coins here a few coins there and that's how he actually got by in life by sculpting trees with a peashooter it was is disabled that's the only job he could do and when the king saw this he said he had an idea he had an Insight so he went up to this this disabled man with a peashooter and he whispered the words I can make you richer than your wildest dreams all you need to do is to help me he whispered to the the disabled men and disabled man yes yes yes yes yes yes and the following day the following day at the court at the parliament the king started to discuss something and as soon as the king opened his mouth this Minister started saying well in my opinion and I'm always right because I'm very wise and I've got so much experience and I've been here a long time and you should listen to me and this is how we should do it and we should do it this way and not that way and don't listen to these other guys I don't know what they're talking about and he kept going on like this but as soon as he opened his mouth he felt something go into his mouth he never noticed that in this Great Hall there was a new curtain on the wall and he didn't know what was behind that curtain and of course you all know what was behind that curtain but you know just a little thing entering his mouth that never stopped him he kept on talking and talking but every now and again some right in the back of his pallet and of course what' you do swallowed it down and carried on talking and he kept on talking and the longer he kept on talking the more he began to feel a little bit queasy cuz he didn't realize what was actually hitting his throat and going down into his stomach but he kept on talking and talking and talking until he felt really sick now some of these people know they just they so full of of what they want to say even when they're about to throw up they keep on talking and it was only was turning green and he couldn't actually do it anymore he couldn't Tik Tok anymore and he ran out from the hall totally green holding his hand over his mouth in case he uh something very awful came out and when he left the king burst out laughing and no one knew why and what had happened and then he went over to the curtain he opened the curtain there a disabled man with his peashooter and about most of his bag of ammunition was empty and the King held up the ammunition it wasn't peas it was chicken little pellets and for the last 15 or 20 minutes or half an hour with deadly accuracy this guy with a p had emptied half a bag of chicken down his Minister's gullet and apparently it worked a treat that that Min that Minister was absent for quite a few days and they got a lot of work done when this guy wasn't interrupting all the time and when he actually got better and he came back it was amazing just he would hardly speak at all and when he did speak he'd always put his hand over his mouth just in case
- The principal who heard the three questionsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Invited to an education seminar 'for the free breakfast', he's greeted by a woman: 'Do you remember me?' He doesn't. A year earlier at a Gosnells school he told Tolstoy's three…
Read full story
I was invited to give this uh seminar once on on an education day over I think the eastern suburbs education department or something. They were having a seminar. They had a nice hall. They said, "Ajent, if you come, we give you a free breakfast." That was good enough for me. So, I went over there for the free breakfast. And of course, as soon as I walked in, I'm not really sure why I was invited. They never told me. And it was like an education seminar. And the lady came up to me and said, "Thank you, Ajam Brown, for coming. Do you remember me? That's why this story comes up." I said, "No, I haven't got a clue who you are." And actually she told me the story that about six months earlier or maybe a year earlier I've been invited to give a a talk uh in Gossnol's uh I think it was a primary school you know that I go to all these places to give talks I don't really get much feedback but I went to this school and gave a talk and one of the uh stories I told was the old emperor's free question story now is the most important time, the one in front of you, the most important person in the whole world, the only thing to do is to care. And that really hit her very hard just like it actually meant so much to me when I first read it as a student. I remember first reading in this book by Leo Toltoy. And after I read that, wow, I mean, that was powerful. And I just got up from my room and just went walking around Cambridge for an hour just wow. It really blew my mind literally. So anyway, did the same to her. She was a principal of a school, a very successful teacher. That night, she told me after hearing me talk about that story, she resigned. She gave it up a job instantly. And then what she did, she knew that Gossnos is was a low socioeconomic area at the time. There were many kids had left school at a very young age and she wanted she kind of knew what had happened to them. They run away from home, boys and girls, dealing drugs, prostitutes living on the streets underage. And she thought, I can't just ignore this. So what she did was um now is the most important time. She had to do it straight away. And she went, you know, to these places in Perth, under the bridges, the places where homeless people hang out, especially underage, and she went to talk to them. But when she was talking to them, she didn't feel fear. Instead, she felt, "You are the most important person in the world to me. You underage prostitutes. You kid on drugs or selling drugs. And the only thing I'm going to do is care. How that care works out, I don't know, but just be kind." And she felt that she could now communicate with these people who were in immense social difficulties. And it was actually some of those kids were at this conference or which I went to and they were telling me just how it was the first time someone was listening to them. They didn't have an agenda. They didn't want to try and get them back to school or anything. They just wanted to listen and give these little kids importance instead of discriminating against them or just just trying to reject them or bung them in a school in a prison somewhere. She was listening. And when she was listening and get that connection with these underage prostitutes and drug dealers and kids, 14, 15 year olds, she connected so well with them. She learned what they the kind of things they needed, what kind of things they would need to bring them back into the school system. Not just an ordinary school, but being able to have times when they can come when they feel they want to come. and to have lessons or education tailored for them so they could feel that they were part of the education system not something just given to them but they were contributing towards it and she got the funding from the education department even when she went to see these people behind the desks in East Perth still that she remembered now is the most important time and the person behind the desk is the most important person in the whole world for her. And she really cared and that came out and she got the funding. And this little seminar was actually um celebrating the success of that program. I gave a talk, but my talk was totally overpowered by the next boy who gave a talk. He told where he'd come from and the pain and difficulties which he'd gone through in his life. And then just under the bridge somewhere in Perth, this lady came up to him and was the first person who did actually listen to him, not judging him. Never made him felt afraid. What do you need? What can I get for you? You know, I I have the resources to make sure that we can, you know, get you some food, a place to stay, get off the drugs, get a career. and he gave this very eloquent talk and he said he's got a place at university next year. When he said that, it's amazing where he'd come from and where he got to. I said, "I can't match that. Whatever I talk, that was a real person who'd been really down, had bad luck all his life, and somebody actually cared, listened, gave him that sense of importance, and now he was going to university. He's got his life back. And that was just one out of many. A girl talked next and she was just as good.
- Three-day village parties with petrol generatorsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: As a young monk in rural Thailand he learns old parties ran for three days: when people tired they slept where they fell, woke, and danced again — with petrol generators and huge…
Read full story
when I was a monk in Thailand now the old Tha culture you know was very down to earth and when they had a party not like these days a party you maybe start at 8:00 you finish by 1 these went on for 3 days and it's absolutely true once you know they got tired they went to sleep when they woke up they started again so know three-day continuous party now that was great fun for them but you know our monit was only about a kilometer kilometer and a half from the village so when they had a party we heard it now there was no electricity in those days but they had these petrol gener petrol generators
- Total listening — the counsellor threw away her learningStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Wealthy client exhausted usual therapies; counsellor at a Buddhist conference describes going totally quiet, discarding training static, listening — then words come unbidden when…
Read full story
counseling from this woman this woman said in her presentation that she knew the background she knew that know all the usual ways of dealing with this problem wouldn't work because they had already been tried so she decided to do this total listening when the woman came in the room this is her client the counselor just went very peaceful very quiet no thoughts throw away all of the learning which you've had before cuz that just creates more a static between the ears and she listened to this person for a few minutes as she described what was happening to her and then when it was a turn for the counsel to speak she said the words came out of her mouth
- Twenty-six sheep — ten die — how many survive?Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Math riddle: 26 sheep in a field, 10 die — how many survive? Not 16 — twenty sick sheep.
Read full story
26 sheep in a field. 10 10 die. How many survive? 16. No, you're no good at math. Sorry, everybody fails this one. 26 sheep in the field, 10 die. How many survive? I'll say it again. Listen carefully. That's an important part of meditation. You got to be really mindful. 20 sick. Just keep my fault. So you can tell that to your math teacher when you go to school. Sick. Yeah, that's what I said. That's why they die. They were sick
- Two sisters and one orangeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two sisters argue over the last orange — whose turn it is — and finally compromise by cutting it in half. One peels her half, throws away the peel and eats the flesh. The other…
Read full story
So, it was a story of the two sisters fighting over the orange. It's a very classic story for arguments and how they can be solved. So the two sisters had one orange and they were arguing over who that orange would go to. One sister said, "You had the last orange, so this one's mine." And the other sister said, "But you had the last two oranges. Yes, I did have the last one, but I should have this one too. Because you had two in a row. Now it's my turn to have two in a row." And so they argued and they could find no resolution. So what they did, was to have compromise. They cut the orange in half. And the first lady took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the peel in the trash can and ate her half of the orange. And the second sister, took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the flesh in the trash can. Because she wanted the peel to make a cake. If they'd only found out what they really wanted - number one, there'll be no arguments. "Ah, you take the peel, I'd take the flesh." No problem. And they've got twice as much orange, and twice as much peel, for whatever they wanted to use it for.
- Your brother will snore — and so will youStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A visiting monk's brother needs a bed; Brahm warns that sharing a room means the brother will snore — and so will the monk. The guest insists it will be fine; of course Brahm is…
Read full story
his brother was visiting him and you know there was not enough space for him to stay at our Monastery so he asked can he stay in the same room with me so well it's your brother you know can't see why not but I told him you know you know cuz he said that he grew up with his brother lived in the same room with his brother when he was growing up but I said that's not the same as when you're in your 50s he will snore and so will you