Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

Two sisters and one orange

As told by Ajahn Brahm in What Do You Want? | Ajahn Brahm | 06-05-2011

1 min read

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

So, it was a story of the two sisters fighting over the orange. It's a very classic story for arguments and how they can be solved. So the two sisters had one orange and they were arguing over who that orange would go to. One sister said, "You had the last orange, so this one's mine." And the other sister said, "But you had the last two oranges. Yes, I did have the last one, but I should have this one too. Because you had two in a row. Now it's my turn to have two in a row." And so they argued and they could find no resolution. So what they did, was to have compromise. They cut the orange in half. And the first lady took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the peel in the trash can and ate her half of the orange. And the second sister, took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the flesh in the trash can. Because she wanted the peel to make a cake. If they'd only found out what they really wanted - number one, there'll be no arguments. "Ah, you take the peel, I'd take the flesh." No problem. And they've got twice as much orange, and twice as much peel, for whatever they wanted to use it for.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 15:22 (to 16:51)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Two sisters split the last orange down the middle; one wanted only the flesh, the other only the peel. Asking would have given each of them twice as much. In your next argument, skip who's right and ask what each of you really wants. Often it's simply to be heard and respected.

In brief (our summary)

Two sisters argue over the last orange — whose turn it is — and finally compromise by cutting it in half. One peels her half, throws away the peel and eats the flesh. The other peels hers, throws away the flesh and keeps the peel for a cake. Had they asked what each really wanted, there'd have been no argument — and twice as much of each.

Teaching point

Many conflicts vanish when we find out what each side really wants, rather than who is right.

When this story may help

  • family arguments
  • negotiation
  • marriage conflict
  • committee disputes

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in What Do You Want? | Ajahn Brahm | 06-05-2011 · 2011-05-08 · ▶ watch from 15:22 to 16:51 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

2 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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