Story · Ajahn Brahm

The intern's pager and the one-or-two-second listen

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Real Life | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Jun 2016

1 min read

Content note: medical; vegetative state; death

his little pager beeped it's one of his patients was having a cardiac arrest he ran as fast as he could into the ward into the room next to the bedside and resuscitated him but not quick enough so there was permanent brain damage on this patient maybe 30 seconds later since earlier and he could have actually got him back to a proper life but his actions had confined this man into this terrible space an in-between world of life and death where his body could survive for many many more years but he would never be never be able to speak never be able to uh talk to people or listen to people he was like in a vegetative state but otherwise perfectly okay and he felt so guilty that his actions had confined this man into a state between life and death with no real quality of life but in that prison of his body for probably many more years and so he came and asked me of all people what should I do next time that happens I'm a monk I'm not a doctor but I know it a lot because I know how to listen and feel what I told him next time that happens it will happen again get there as soon as you can resuscitate spend one or two seconds that's all listen feel get your mind still anyone can do that for a few seconds find it difficult if I just say and it's really important just making my own peaceful stop thinking and listen feel and what you feel if you feel yeah resuscitate go for it if you feel too late leave it alone follow that and I find that that would always be very very very helpful for you

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 13:26 (to 15:42)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A young doctor was haunted by a patient he'd revived a few seconds too late. Ajahn Brahm suggested pausing a moment to feel, even in an emergency, alongside his training. A second of calm can steady a hard call. With people too, stillness lets you sense what's needed before you act.

In brief (our summary)

A distraught intern told Ajahn Brahm he had resuscitated a cardiac-arrest patient a few seconds too late, leaving permanent brain damage and a vegetative body. Next time, Brahm said: get there fast, then spend one or two seconds still — listen — and if it feels too late, leave it; if not, go for it.

Teaching point

In an impossible medical moment, a second of stillness can guide the choice better than panic.

When this story may help

medical guilt
impossible choices
listening under pressure

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Real Life | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Jun 2016 · 2016-06-03 · ▶ watch from 13:26 to 15:42 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

1 other telling of this story

Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 23 February 2019 · 2019-02-23 · ▶ watch from 1:58 to 2:53 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
Feb 2019: cardiac arrest, irreversible brain damage; the doctor feels he has imprisoned the patient and asks what to do next time.

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

Ask if she's still there
In brief: Counseling a woman whose mother is on life support, he advises sitting, holding the hand and asking whether she is still there. In a…
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suppose your mother is in a coma in hospital for several months and there's no real possibility of of any cure and someone ask you should we turn off the ventilator should we turn off the life support system and as a Buddhist what should you you do cuz that's your mother as I said this her jaw dropped and she said wow you're good because her mother was in the hospital on a life support system in a coma and she'd been like that for quite a while I sort of nailed it but of course the advice which I give which is important for everyone to know is that if that's your mother or anyone close to you sit next to her hold her hand and even though she's in a coma ask her if she's there if she wants to go you know there's a lot of difference between a person who is just a dead body being kept Alive by the machines and a being who's still in that body just struggling to survive and live on there's a lot of difference there and if that's someone you love and know you can feel it you can feel that there's somebody there and if there's somebody there keep the venator going there's one of the uh people I know she told her story of what it was like being in a coma it's a great story because she made a full recovery and goes around telling her story in in public forums about what it's like to be in a coma for many days she said she went to a very very dark black place don't know for how long Timeless I think it was actually for several weeks I said what brought her back she said she heard the sound of Temple Bells by Buddhist temple bells that's how she described it where that came from who knows but that brought her out of the that darkness and soon into her body and when she was in that body she could not speak or move but she could see hear and feel everything which was going on around her but not being able to respond and after a while she saw her sons come to visit which of course delighted her but she could not say that she was being delighted she had no way of responding to what they said to their kisses or holding their hand but she got terrified when the doctor came and said that their mother had no chance of coming out of the coma and ask the children the nearest of kin for permission to turn off the life support she heard them saying that and she was thinking no I'm still here here don't turn it off but she couldn't move her mouth nor any other part of the body being in Singapore or it could have been I think it was in Malaysia sorry being a Chinese family the children said well it's the eldest son's decision and the eldest son said no don't leave me alone I want your help on this but of course no one wants to make such a decision to turn off the machine of your own mother so they passed her back to the eldest son and he had to choose whether his mother would die right there and of course she could not move her body certainly not her lips not even her eyes but she could certainly move her mind and she wished and willed and concentrated her mind to say say son don't don't don't I'm here and the son said no give her another day in that 24 hours she was able to move her hand enough to show the doctor that something was happening a recovery seemed to be happening and of course because you could tell that story she did make a total recovery and you wouldn't think that she had been in that situation if you saw her today
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The razor wheel in hell (Borobudur)
In brief: Shown a Borobudur carving, Ajahn Brahm tells of a man who pushed over his mother and, out of guilt, is reborn in hell, where a razor wheel…
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it was an old Buddhist story of a guy who had actually pretty good guy but he did one bad act he pushed over his mother and she injured herself and of course he felt so guilty about that that when he died he got born in this hell realm and he he went down to meet this guy you in this terrible realm and he saw this fellow you know having his head cut with a razor wheel you know just cutting into his head continuously you know obviously without him dying and he's in great pain but this guy said at last you've come because when I got this wheel it was 600 years ago cuz I hurt my mother and I was told that in 600 years time another guy will come cuz he also hurt his mom and when he comes the wheel will leave my head and I'll be free of this torture and it will go into this other guy's head and here you are here's a wheel so the wheel left this other guy and the guy sort of know vanished from this torture and he went into this new guy's head and he was cutting his head in an incredible Agony but this fellow this new guy he had thoughts of kindness of compassion and he said I'm going to take this wheel not for 600 years but for 3,000 years so the next four or five guys don't have to bear this I'll take their punishment for them and that kind thought the wheel shattered and he was taken away from this hell realm and reborn in the heaven realm Just one thought of kindness and compassion did that
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“Please don't die during our retreat”
In brief: At the start of the rains retreat Ajahn Brahm jokingly asks everyone not to die until October or November, since funerals break his…
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I made an announcement last week please don't die during our retreat because if you do I have to come out of the retreat and do your funeral service for you and that breaks my meditation so just out of respect and out of kindness can you please delay your death and to the least know October or or even better November so of course there's a there's always karmic consequences when I say city jokes like that because on Monday I got an email one of my disciples died then he left it for one day and so all my plans of what I was supposed to do on Tuesday and Wednesday were thrown into turmoil as I had to go to Singapore for their funeral so on Tuesday morning at one o'clock in the morning I had to take the flight and I came back on Wednesday afternoon just you know 20 less than 24 hours in Singapore to help with the funeral service
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The tsunami ghost who gave a phone number
In brief: Three days after the 2004 tsunami, a Thai woman in Krabi dreams of a battered English girl from Phi Phi who names the Bangkok temple where…
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True Story 3 days after the tsunami hit Thailand there was a Thai girl who lived in the town of gby had a dream in the middle of the night and the dream was of this English girl coming up to her but this English girl her hair blonde hair was all tangled and tousled and her face she must have been quite a young girl 19 20 or whatever was all bruised and gashed and her body was all broken with huge gases and blood in it IM made see that this bloody bruised corpse coming to in your dream but because it's in a dream you know you're too sleepy for actually to be too afraid and the ghost kept saying help me help me help me and the ghost said I was on peee Island when the wave hit I'm dead and at this moment she said Tai soldiers are lifting up my body and they're placing me in a temple a Buddhist temple in Bangkok and she said the name of that Temple and my mother who lives in London is desperately trying to call me on my mobile phone but my phone is at the bottom of the ocean please help me can you do two things for me said the ghost first I want a Buddhist funeral I'm not a Buddhist but I want a Buddhist clation can you arrange that for me this is my name this is the temple where my body is right now and number two can you please ask my mother not to come until the cation is over I don't want her to see me like this please can you do this for me and here is my mother's telephone number and she gave this long list of digits after which this TIG girl woke up middle of the night she was married to an English man maybe that's why this Ghost came to see her so she woke up her husband and told her the dream which she had perfect recall of and the husband was surprised because the telephone number was a legitimate London phone number so he said call it she said no call him so they rang the number middle of the night in Thailand late afternoon early evening in London a woman picked up that phone it's true story woman picked up that phone after a short conversation it was the mother of a girl who was missing on people Island it was that ghost mother the name description was perfect so the mother was thankful at least now she knew for sure what she expected deep in her Hearts if you are a mother sometimes you can feel whether your child is alive or dead when they go missing so she gave permission for them to do the funeral service and to let her know when it was completed so she could come and collect her daughter's ashes the next morning they went to puket found the temple found the body got permission through the ceremony and cremated the corpse it said that to the body looked exactly as it did in the dream and having done the creation the mother from London came on an aircraft from Heath Road they met at puket airport handed over the ashes cried and then the mother went home and the tig girl went home with her husband to graby and a couple of nights later they had another dream and in this dream the girl came to the this English girl came to this tire girl again in a dream but this time her hair was Immaculate as if she'd been to Elizabeth ardens or something I don't know are they still in business Elizabeth ardens been a long time since I went 20 hairdresser I do my own but I the best hairdresser in town just beautiful hair and her face no bruises no Cuts as if she had like makeover and her dress white and shiny Immaculate and she said in a dream look what's happened to me look what you've done for me I'm a Heavenly being an angel thank you so much for arranging that ceremony for me and thank you so much for letting my mother know I've come here one more time to say thank you to you thank you so much to express my gratitude said this angel in the dream here is another set of numbers which she also remembered when she woke up but they never tried to dial those numbers cuz if you all suspect that was not a phone number that was a lottery number which won and they made quite a substantial amount of money and that is a true story the mor of that story is if ever you see a ghost don't run away yet ask it for some numbers first and then run like hell we going to do dream don't get afraid come on let's have some numbers please but remember because you heard that story in DCA Buddhist center 10% of your winnings should should go to the temple
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The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)