Stories about conflict resolution
2 Buddhist wisdom stories about conflict resolution from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- The half sheet of paperStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At an old man's funeral his widow holds up half a sheet of paper he kept in his wallet all his life. In grade school, as two factions of boys were about to fight, the teacher…
Read full story
This was a story which I read of a funeral service, where the widow of this old man who had died, when she was giving the eulogy. They try to say a few words about the person who has died and some of the important things which happened to them in their life. And during the eulogy the widow, she held up half a sheet of paper. And she said: "My husband got this sheet of paper, when he was at grade school, before I even met him. And this peace of paper he kept in his wallet all his life and it saved him from getting angry so many times. And he told me the story of it. He said that, when he was in grade school, there was a big argument with two fractions of boys. And when it got so bad in the classroom there's about to be you know a fight. And the teacher ordered them, sit down! And get out your exercise books. In those days the discipline was strong enough, they would actually follow what the teacher said. Maybe these days, you known, been charging your luck. But anyway, they had to sit down, they were really angry, the fight would probably be delayed until after the recess, but they had to get out their exercise books. And the teacher said tear out one sheet from your books. Get out a ruler and draw a vertical line down the middle. On the top of the paper put down the name of the boy in this class you hate the most. And they all did that very easily now on the left-hand side of that line write down the reason why you're so angry at them. And they did that. Now, said the teacher, on the other side of the line, on the right-hand side, write down something you respect about that person. Things you admire about them. That was a very difficult thing for them to do. It took them a long time but they had to complete that. Now said the teacher, fold that peace of paper in half along that line. Tear it down that line very carefully. I'm now gone come around with a trash can. The left-hand sides put in the trash can. The right-hand sides, with the reasons you admire that boy, who's your biggest enemy, go and hand it to them. And the widow said: This is the peace of paper, my husband got from the boy who is his biggest enemy in that class. The one, who hated him the most. Who's so angry at him. Saying all the things he admired in my husband. And he kept that with him all his life, to stop him getting angry.
- Two sisters and one orangeStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two sisters argue over the last orange — whose turn it is — and finally compromise by cutting it in half. One peels her half, throws away the peel and eats the flesh. The other…
Read full story
So, it was a story of the two sisters fighting over the orange. It's a very classic story for arguments and how they can be solved. So the two sisters had one orange and they were arguing over who that orange would go to. One sister said, "You had the last orange, so this one's mine." And the other sister said, "But you had the last two oranges. Yes, I did have the last one, but I should have this one too. Because you had two in a row. Now it's my turn to have two in a row." And so they argued and they could find no resolution. So what they did, was to have compromise. They cut the orange in half. And the first lady took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the peel in the trash can and ate her half of the orange. And the second sister, took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the flesh in the trash can. Because she wanted the peel to make a cake. If they'd only found out what they really wanted - number one, there'll be no arguments. "Ah, you take the peel, I'd take the flesh." No problem. And they've got twice as much orange, and twice as much peel, for whatever they wanted to use it for.