# Two sisters and one orange

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-two-sisters-one-orange
- Themes: conflict resolution, listening, arguments
- Life situations: family arguments, negotiation, marriage conflict, committee disputes

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Two sisters argue over the last orange — whose turn it is — and finally compromise by cutting it in half. One peels her half, throws away the peel and eats the flesh. The other peels hers, throws away the flesh and keeps the peel for a cake. Had they asked what each really wanted, there'd have been no argument — and twice as much of each.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

So, it was a story of the two sisters fighting over the orange. It's a very classic story for arguments and how they can be solved. So the two sisters had one orange and they were arguing over who that orange would go to. One sister said, "You had the last orange, so this one's mine." And the other sister said, "But you had the last two oranges. Yes, I did have the last one, but I should have this one too. Because you had two in a row. Now it's my turn to have two in a row." And so they argued and they could find no resolution. So what they did, was to have compromise. They cut the orange in half. And the first lady took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the peel in the trash can and ate her half of the orange. And the second sister, took her half of the orange. She peeled it, threw the flesh in the trash can. Because she wanted the peel to make a cake. If they'd only found out what they really wanted - number one, there'll be no arguments. "Ah, you take the peel, I'd take the flesh." No problem. And they've got twice as much orange, and twice as much peel, for whatever they wanted to use it for.

## Teaching point

Many conflicts vanish when we find out what each side really wants, rather than who is right.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Two sisters split the last orange down the middle; one wanted only the flesh, the other only the peel. Asking would have given each of them twice as much. In your next argument, skip who's right and ask what each of you really wants. Often it's simply to be heard and respected.

## Source

- [What Do You Want? | Ajahn Brahm | 06-05-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95XfzIJ-ov0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 15:22 to 16:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95XfzIJ-ov0&t=922s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Conflict! | Ajahn Brahm | 14-12-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCSh-2-JkLg) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 21:44 to 22:55: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCSh-2-JkLg&t=1304s
- [Peaceful Activism | Ajahn Brahm | 18 October 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRO0U6bURws) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 13:36 to 15:20: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRO0U6bURws&t=816s