The tribe that praises the wrongdoer

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• Class A and Class B

  In brief: An English school splits a year group into two classes of exactly equal ability by exam score — only the headmistress and two…

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  This was a story of a test which was done in a school in England. Two classes of kids, the end of the year exams, you know, we just done the end of the year exams for our kids in school here in Western Australia. The school year is just finished or about to finish. And it's usually the usual thing is on the basis of the results this year, you know, that's how you'll be graded for, you know, the streams of learning for next year. And there was one school did this really interesting experiment. They had two classes in one year and having done their examination, they never published the results. There was, if I remember correctly, the head mistress and two psychologists were the only ones who knew what scores every kid got. But instead, what they did, they allocated the children as evenly as they possibly could. The kid who came top went in the same class as a kid who came fifth and sixth. No, fourth and fifth. Yeah. Fourth and fifth, 8th and 9th, 12th and 13th, 16th and 17th. They all went in one class. The kids who came second and third, sixth and seventh, 10th and 11th went in the other class. So they split the classes up as evenly as they possibly could. And the head mistress tried to find teachers who she thought were equally good. And they even went as far as to find classrooms with equal facilities. They made everything equal as possible except for one thing. They called one of those classes class A and the other one class B. And they were totally equal in ability based on the exam results. and they wanted to find out what would happen next year. Half of those kids went into class A and they weren't more brilliant, but their parents said, "I don't know how you did it, son. You're in class A. Carry on. Well done." And even the kids who came second and third going into class B. I want you to work harder next year. You know, no more privileges for you, more homework. the the parents thought class B meant the worst and even the teachers taught her to a lower level and the kids be know with her in class B the kids started to believe the class A kids were superior than the class B kids because one year later when they gave the exam again the children in class A did so well as if they were the top half chosen from the year before. And the class B kids did terribly. Literally after one year, half those children became class A children and the other one became class B simply because they gave that label and they believed in it, they became it.

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• The 'hopeless at maths' boy who came top

  In brief: As a young schoolteacher, Ajahn Brahm is told a boy in his maths class is hopeless — he came bottom of three or four classes the year…

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  another case this was from this time I was a school teacher I love doing experiments some of them were maybe not fair but they were worth it because there was a kid in my maths class and the teachers told me he's hopeless at Mass he came bottom the year before of those about three or four classes in this school now is his math teacher for one year so I decided to find out whether it was because he can't do maths or there was some other reason so for 12 months I don't know nine months of the school year after every lesson I'd ask him did you understand that give him extra attention praise him when he got the thing right go to his desk you know doing the exercises and give him a bit of a hand really just give him special attention I say it was unfair because I never gave that attention to any other child in the class just this one boy because I wanted to see whether it was a case that a person just cannot do math or because they believe they can't do it and of course it was a second case because at the end of the year that boy came top I moved him from bottom to top just by giving him a belief

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• “The door of my house will always be open to you”

  In brief: Remembering his father, dead almost 50 years, at a Thai New Year merit ceremony: when he was 13, his poor father stopped his old green…

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  At least I remembered my mother and especially my father just how much he taught me. Even though he's been dead 50 years now, actually 50 years next month. I'll never forget him, never will. Especially some of the beautiful things he said to me. One of which was that great story which fits in here. Taking me aside in his old second-hand, just about managing to go, car, it would probably be banned from the roads if it was on the roads in West Australia these days. He was a very poor man. Taking me aside, I still remember the place, in Acton, just off Churchfield Road, I remember it just to this day. I'm looking at it now, even the colour of the car was green. And he stopped the car, turned around to me and he said, son, whatever happens to you in your life; I was about 13 at the time. whatever happens to you in your life, however you turn out, please I want you to remember this. You know I did remember this so clearly. He said, whatever you do in your life, wherever you go, however you turn out, the door of my house will always be open to you. It will always be open to you. I'll never shut the door in your face. You always welcome. Only 13. Didn't really understand how deep that meaning was. Only later on when you became a monk. One of the nice things about being a monk or a nun, especially as the young monk or nun, you have so much time, you can reflect, figure things out, understand what these things mean. And that's where, in Thailand, I remembered that and understood what it meant was the door of his heart was open to me. Not his house, his heart. Oh that was such a beautiful, beautiful teaching. It was unconditional love. Telling me, son, whatever you do, you turn out to be a criminal, you turn out to be something which most people will be embarrassed about, but not me. The door of my heart is always open to you. You're my son, that's enough. Whatever you do.

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• The honey and the milk

  In brief: In parallel supermarket checkout aisles, at almost the same moment, one child drops a jar of honey and another drops a carton of milk —…

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  And this was an example of the two children at the supermarket checkout, they were in parallel lanes. And almost exactly the same time, one child took out a carton of milk from the trolley, and he dropped it on the ground, and it went "splat" all over the floor, making a whole mess. And his mum said, "you stupid child". Almost exactly the same time in the parallel aisle, another child, they picked up the jar of honey. And it was slippy they dropped it. And they went "smash" all over the floor. But that mother, because she must have come to the Buddhist Society in Nollamara. That mother, she didn't say, "you stupid child". She said, "that was a stupid thing you did." And we emphasise the huge difference between those two responses. Now, if you examine it, you call, that's your "stupid child", it's as if they are totally stupid. They're, like, totally sort of corrupt, that when they were made, there must be some genetic malfunction that they are actually stupid. They're permanently stained with stupidity. And that's that first child. And many of you can recognise, such reactions when you make a mistake, and someone calls you stupid, someone calls you dumb. Someone calls you all these things. And what they're saying is, you're fatally flawed. There's nothing worth redeeming in you. And you know what it's like when that happens to you. You feel totally diminished, totally hopeless. You lose all your self esteem and that's no way to bring up a child. The other child received "that was a stupid thing you did". You're not a stupid kid. But, you had a moment of stupidity. And what that means is that you're recognising the truth, that was the sort of a silly thing to do to pick up that jar of honey making it all slippy. But, you're not a stupid person. There's more to you than that.

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