# The tribe that praises the wrongdoer

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-tribe-praises-wrongdoer
- Themes: forgiveness, identity, punishment, praise
- Life situations: dealing with wrongdoing, parenting, discipline

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Ajahn Brahm recounts an email about a tribe untouched by other cultures: when someone does wrong — steals or hits someone — he stands in the centre of a circle of the whole tribe, and for two or three days, instead of punishing him, they all tell him wonderful things about himself.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

somebody sent me this interesting email the other day and it was some tribe which has you know been totally untainted by other cultures that in this try when anybody makes a mistake or does anything wrong or bad like steals or hit somebody or he stands in the center of this circle and all the members of the tribe stand around him he's done something bad but do they punish him no for two or three days he has to stand in the middle and they all tell him wonderful things about himself what a great person he is for three days when he's done something wrong

## Teaching point

Punishment reinforces the identity of a 'bad person'; praise reminds them they are a 'Class A person', so they're unlikely to do it again.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

In the story Ajahn Brahm read, a tribe answers wrongdoing with days of praise, not punishment. He can't vouch for the tribe, but he likes the wisdom. Someone who has done wrong already knows it; punishment only confirms a bad identity. When someone close to you slips, try reminding them who they are at their best.

## Source

- [Changing our attitudes to who we think we are | Ajahn Brahm | 17 Jul 2015](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ldT6MBEP8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:15 to 36:00: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ldT6MBEP8&t=2115s