Being Mindful Stories

Story · Ajahn Brahm

Ted's last dinner

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Having Positive Attitudes towards Everybody | Ajahn Brahm | 12 March 2021

2 min read

Content note: terminal illness; health claim (remission attributed to attitude/diet); named private person (first name)

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Finish off with the story of Ted. I I'll finish off now. I promise. Maybe [laughter] Ted. This guy, they just opened up St. John of God. No, no, no. One in Murdoch. Murdoch Hospice down in uh right next to Murdoch Hospital. really nice little hospital. They just opened up. So Ted was one of the first patients in there. Had lung cancer, was dying. So they put him in there to die. Just a one-way ticket. [clears throat] But with Ted, he was like from York. I got to be careful. From Lanasher. He's from on the borders between Lanasher and York. He was from Lancasher. And so the he told me afterwards I went to visit him a few times. The first night in the hospital, the nurse came up to him and said, "What do you want for dinner tonight, Ted?" And Ted said, "Well, you know, I got diabetes, so I can't have anything sweet. [gasps] I got sort of high cholesterol, so forget about anything oil or oily or or fried. I can't have anything like that. I can't have anything salty because I've got hardened arteries. I can't have. And the nurse looked at him and said, "What on earth are you talking about, Ted? You're not going to die of cholesterol or heart attack or or hardened arteries or diabetes. You're going to die of cancer in a couple of days." So Ted, the nurse said, "You can eat whatever you want. anything really. His eyes went wide apparently according to the nurse. Really? And so he had all this food, sweet, syrupy, salty, sugary, which is he told me his wife had never allowed him to eat for the last three or four years. And he ate it. Had lots of it. Why not? You're going to die soon. So, and we know what happened. Honest story. He went into remission and he walked out of that hospice. [laughter] True. I know. He's a good friend. God is his [laughter] daughter and and uh son-in-law was an ex monk and six months he had and then he went back into the hospice to die properly. [snorts] [laughter] He went back. He had six extra months because he cared for himself instead of trying to cure himself so much.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 49:15 (to 52:04)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Dying in a hospice, Ted listed every food his conditions forbade, until a nurse told him to eat whatever he wanted. He feasted on sweets, rallied, and walked out for six more months. One man's story, not a treatment plan. But caring for yourself kindly can matter more than fighting so hard to fix everything.

In brief (our summary)

Ted, a Lancashire man dying of lung cancer, was one of the first patients in the new hospice next to Murdoch Hospital. Asked what he wanted for dinner, he listed what he couldn't eat — nothing sweet (diabetes), oily or fried (cholesterol), salty (hardened arteries). The nurse said: 'You're not going to die of any of those; you're going to die of cancer in a couple of days. Eat whatever you want.' His eyes went wide, and he ate all the sweet, syrupy, salty food his wife hadn't allowed him for years. He went into remission and walked out of the hospice — six extra months — before he went back 'to die properly'.

Teaching point

Caring for yourself can matter more than trying so hard to cure yourself.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Having Positive Attitudes towards Everybody | Ajahn Brahm | 12 March 2021 · 2021-03-12 · ▶ watch from 49:15 to 52:04 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

7 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions with machine-added punctuation; words left exactly as captioned. 'Lanasher'/'Lancasher' = Lancashire.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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