Stories about dying
5 Buddhist wisdom stories about dying from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- “Steve, you can die”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Visiting a dying man, Steve, Ajahn Brahm senses something is holding him back and asks his partner Jenny (present in the audience) whether she has given him permission to die.…
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This lady sitting in front of me who taught me something once when her husband died. I remember to this moment Jenny and I always will with Steve. When I came to see you Steve was dying but there was something stopping him and I told you 'have you given Steve permission to die?' Remember that time? And you did and it's one of those memorable experiences, she jumped up on the bed, hugged her partner whom she loved dearly and said 'Steve you can die, I give you permission to go'
- Ted's last dinnerStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ted, a Lancashire man dying of lung cancer, was one of the first patients in the new hospice next to Murdoch Hospital. Asked what he wanted for dinner, he listed what he couldn't…
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Finish off with the story of Ted. I I'll finish off now. I promise. Maybe [laughter] Ted. This guy, they just opened up St. John of God. No, no, no. One in Murdoch. Murdoch Hospice down in uh right next to Murdoch Hospital. really nice little hospital. They just opened up. So Ted was one of the first patients in there. Had lung cancer, was dying. So they put him in there to die. Just a one-way ticket. [clears throat] But with Ted, he was like from York. I got to be careful. From Lanasher. He's from on the borders between Lanasher and York. He was from Lancasher. And so the he told me afterwards I went to visit him a few times. The first night in the hospital, the nurse came up to him and said, "What do you want for dinner tonight, Ted?" And Ted said, "Well, you know, I got diabetes, so I can't have anything sweet. [gasps] I got sort of high cholesterol, so forget about anything oil or oily or or fried. I can't have anything like that. I can't have anything salty because I've got hardened arteries. I can't have. And the nurse looked at him and said, "What on earth are you talking about, Ted? You're not going to die of cholesterol or heart attack or or hardened arteries or diabetes. You're going to die of cancer in a couple of days." So Ted, the nurse said, "You can eat whatever you want. anything really. His eyes went wide apparently according to the nurse. Really? And so he had all this food, sweet, syrupy, salty, sugary, which is he told me his wife had never allowed him to eat for the last three or four years. And he ate it. Had lots of it. Why not? You're going to die soon. So, and we know what happened. Honest story. He went into remission and he walked out of that hospice. [laughter] True. I know. He's a good friend. God is his [laughter] daughter and and uh son-in-law was an ex monk and six months he had and then he went back into the hospice to die properly. [snorts] [laughter] He went back. He had six extra months because he cared for himself instead of trying to cure himself so much.
- The heart-attack role playStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Teaching hospital nurses and doctors in Hong Kong, Ajahn Brahm pairs them. At the bell, A pretends to have a heart attack and B responds as usual — “Keep your eyes open, stay…
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i was in hong kong years ago you know that i got people to double up you know you're a b a b a b and all the a no an a and b go together and a is okay it was in a hospital nurses mostly a few doctors when i ring the bell then one of you number a will pretend to have a heart attack because they've seen it many times they work in the hospitals every day pretend you have a heart attack and then b be the first responder and so i rang the bell and then you know they did all the holding their hearts and falling to the ground stuff and then the first responder said keep your eyes open you know stay with me help is coming and then we asked afterwards to the a's what did it feel like they said it was just really intrusive you know it was caused more stress having the first responder trying so hard to keep you alive okay let's turn it around now when i ring the bell bees expect uh pretend to have a heart attack which they did and a's how are you going to respond and when they responded it's okay relax help is coming if you want it it's okay to die it's not a big deal we all die one day anyway it was so much more calmer and it was so much more pleasant when people don't just rush around panicking when you're about to die i'm sure actually that probably kills more patients than the disease itself having all these people rushing around putting tubes inside here and tube inside there and defibrillators and of course other stuff and and injections and stuff crikey can you just die peacefully it's your body why is other people getting so involved in it they're trying to keep you alive but are you or are you hastening the death for that poor person that's a question to ask anyone who's been in hospital seeing that but anyway those doctors and nurses they got the message so they said next time that somebody has a serious incident they're going to be much calmer and not just stress their patients out
- The worst thing she'd ever doneStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman dying of cancer meets Ajahn Brahm most Friday evenings. Wanting her to die free of her past, he asks in confidence for the worst thing she has ever done. After weeks of…
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this particular woman was dying again of cancer so she came I was talking to her most Friday evenings and then she decided she really wanted to have like a a bit longer time and having a bit of a heart to heart and part of this cuz I knew that she was about to die soon I wanted her to become free from her past so she could die well so I asked her in confidence what's the worst thing you've ever done what's that act which you've keep from other people which you might carry to your grave and feel terrible about can you tell me it's obviously after many weeks of getting to know her she could actually trust me and she said said to me said the worst thing it took a while to get it out of her the worst thing she'd ever done was that she'd kissed another man while she was married not her husband and I said that's the worst thing you've ever done yeah my I never told my husband this but I kissed another man said if that's the worst thing you've done you mean you've done a pretty good life as I sure many of you have done much worse than that but what really struck me for her there was such a release actually to tell someone this thing which was eating her up inside but not only just to tell someone the very fact that she told me and saw my reaction she realized for the first time it wasn't that bad but when you keep it to yourself these small little things which you've done you make them to be huge things as if you're going to go to hell for this as if you're going to be punished for eternity for kissing a you know another man when you're married to a girl or whatever know she was married to a boy that's right it's hot weather my brain doesn't work but I forgive myself that so that when actually you you acknowledge it actually many of these things which you feel so guilty about especially if you tell it to a good friend that you find out it's not such a big deal anyway and you can let it go she could actually let that go now so she didn't feel so guilty when she died
- Tolstoy's screaming patient falls quietStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm recalls a Tolstoy story read as a student: a wealthy man in constant pain screams day and night for weeks, no therapy helps, and then the house suddenly goes quiet —…
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there was a story of a person quite a wealthy person in his country house who had his sickness and who was uh in to in pain constantly moaning and screaming literally 24 hours a day would not sleep and it was driving all the people in the house crazy imagine you're in a house and there's someone moaning and screaming in pain and there's nothing you can do about it being wealthy they tried to get all sorts of therapists homeopaths allopaths everything but nothing could relieve this person's pain and there were tolto when a beautiful writer was describing the emotions of the people who had to deal with this for many weeks but at the end of the story he mentioned that everything suddenly went quiet in the house but the man hadn't died yet for 5 or 10 minutes he was free of pain clear Lucid before he passed away