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Story · Ajahn Brahm

Anita Moorjani: “I'm cured”

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Out of Body Experiences | Ajahn Brahm | 1 July 2022

3 min read

Content note: named real person (public author); health claim: cancer cured by insight (her account; not medical evidence); Ajahn Brahm disagrees with her interpretation of the light

The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

her experience while she was in hong kong she was uh indian but working in hong kong and brian joseph um walker was the her gp but she had so many cancers inside of her and all of those cancers which she had were literally killing her she had many operations and this operation was you know they think last chance for her they thought she was going to go and she did die on the operating table and when she died on the operating table she obviously came back again and then she told the story what it was like being first of all being able to see and hear everything which was being said the doctors confirmed it how the heck do you know that you were unconscious at the time and not only being able to see and hear everything but then floating out of her body and to this big beautiful light and those of you who heard me teach the deep meditation on retreats we call those nimiters in meditation beautiful lights what it is is a manifestation of your mind that's one thing which i disagreed with her on not sort of god who might feel like that but it's actually your own mind and when it's freed from the five senses it's very powerful and extremely blissful like being in the middle of pure love or pure bliss those meditation experiences which i said earlier they're such powerful happiness and and joys literally is blissing now very deeply and then when she came out afterwards she came out afterwards she didn't know how long she was in there she came with what we called in buddhism insight understanding but her main concern at the time obviously was her health her sicknesses her cancers and when she came out and became conscious again to the surprise of the doctors and they thought she would have died and then the first thing she said to the doctors is i'm cured and the doctors thought she was just being hallucinating because you know she had big tumours inside of her what do you mean you're cured and that's when afterwards she mentioned because i've understood the cause of my cancers and the cause of the cancers was the emotional stress of trying to live up to other people's expectations all the time like you your partner in life your children's expectation of you as a mother as a father as a grandparent your parents expectations of you your boss's ex expectations of you and more powerful your own expectations of you what do you think you should be doing how do you really feel that inner stress inside trying to live up to some standard and you don't know where those standards are from and when she saw that she was success a very successful woman when she saw that that was what was causing the stress which manifested in the tumors in her body she understood that was the reason why she had the cancer now she saw that and could understand the main cause of the cancers then she said i'm not going to try and live up to other people's expectations anymore i'm going to relax and just be me and you know that as soon as you if any of you ever do that you find out the you you end up being is much much much better than the you that you try to be all of that force you're not working well enough you're not good enough you're not trying hard enough you're not successful enough you could do more you could do better that is a terrible burden on your body which means that you work too hard injury don't work much at all you're still just trying too hard you still have that stress inside of your body and mind and she said that was what's causing my cancer

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 12:00 (to 16:35)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Anita Moorjani says she came back from the edge of death understanding that the strain of living up to everyone's expectations had made her ill. That is her account, not medical advice. The part worth keeping is gentler: you don't have to be enough for everyone. Lay down some of that pressure and be yourself.

In brief (our summary)

In Hong Kong, Anita Moorjani, riddled with cancers and expected to die, dies on the operating table. She sees and hears everything said (the doctors confirm it), floats out of her body into a great blissful light, and returns with an insight. Waking, she tells the astonished doctors, “I'm cured”: the cause of her cancers was the stress of living up to everyone's expectations — partner, children, parents, boss and her own. She resolves just to be herself.

Teaching point

Insight from a clear mind can reveal the real causes of our problems; stop straining to live up to expectations.

When this story may help

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Out of Body Experiences | Ajahn Brahm | 1 July 2022 · 2022-07-01 · ▶ watch from 12:00 to 16:35 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

3 other tellings of this story

Caption notes: YouTube auto-captions: unpunctuated, words left exactly as captioned. 'murjani' = Moorjani; 'nimiters' = nimittas (not changed).

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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    Many times when I've been teaching meditation, especially down at Armadale, I don't know why this happens always in Armadale group. In Armadale group, sometimes after the meditation, talking to people afterwards, and very often people say, "You know, this evening, I never wanted to come." "It's Tuesday evening, I've been at work, and I'm tired, and I told my kids I'm not going this evening, and my daughter said, 'Mommy, you must go to meditation.' I said, 'I don't feel like it darling, I'm tired.' 'Mommy, you must go to meditation!' 'No, not this evening.' 'Mommy, go to meditation!!' 'Why darling?' 'Because you're a much nicer mommy when you come back.'

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  • The woman who refused to go back

    In brief: A woman who dies on the operating table meets a spirit telling her it isn't her time; she refuses — she's having too good a time — until…

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    there's this one lady who died on the operating table and so she left her body looking at her body over there just a mess so off she went but apparently that she described it as meeting some Spirit and the spirit saying you know it's it's not your time you know you got to go back and she said no way I'm having too good a time I don't want to go back sorry and the spirit said but you have to go back I don't care about that I'm not going you know like people are pretty independent these days and you know you don't actually do what you're told by your parents or by the government or by God or anybody so Spirits you know go and get lost I'm having a good time so that degree of Independence know she didn't want to sort of go anywhere until eventually having this argument you you got to go back no way apparently she described because obviously she did go back that's why she could tell this story this Spirit sort of got hold of her and threw her back into her body and it just had all this aches and pains and heaviness again and she was really pissed off of that spirit I mean really big time so when she gave this interview said now when I die next time of course I would die eventually I'm going to find that guy and I you do know what I'm going to do to that guy what he did to me that's how you described it

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  • How heavy is the glass?

    In brief: Brahm's own analogy (he laughs hearing someone else quote it): how heavy is the glass? The longer you hold it the heavier it feels —…

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    how heavy is the glass and i was laughing my head off when she was saying this because i i made that this story up how heavy is the glass the longer you hold it the heavier it feels if you hold it for two or three minutes you'll be in pain four minutes should be in agony five minutes you'll be in a hospital case and really stupid what do you do when it starts getting too heavy to hold comfortably you put it down

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  • Meditating through Cambridge finals

    In brief: During six days of Natural Sciences finals in 1972 — three hours each morning and afternoon — Ajahn Brahm skips lunch to meditate in his…

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    when I was doing the final examinations at Cambridge University that's where I did my studies, 1972, Natural Sciences Tripos final exams, final exams I really meant that FINAL, everything else in the whole time you did in the University counted for absolutely nothing. You got your Degree or you failed on one series of examinations. Those examinations on Natural Sciences, that year, 6 days -- Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, one after the other, morning examination 3 hours, afternoon 3 hours, 1 hour for lunch. I don't think Amnesty International was formed at that time, if they had found out that was torture, 3 hours, 1 hour lunch, 3 hours, 6 days in a row. The worst of that, everybody was telling me that my future depended upon those examinations. If you did well, you would have a wonderful life, if you failed you will be snuffed for the rest of your life. If only I had known I was going to become a monk, I wouldn't have worked so hard. I didn't know at that time so as other people I really worked hard But my trick was, this is how you deal with stress, this was a stressful situation for me, how I dealt with that was using basic tricks of meditation I've already had started meditation about 2-3 years when I first went up to that University. So, I never had any lunch for those 6 days. Had a big breakfast and a nice dinner in the evening. At lunch time I went back to my room only 5-10 minutes from the examination room, and I meditated for half an hour, Now this is what happens, as soon as I sat down, the first thing which came in to my mind was the morning exam, how did I do, did I do that question correct, we all know how stupid that is, the examination paper is in, right or wrong is too late to change it, it's obvious isn't it, you should let it go, let go of the past this is not the time you can do anything anymore, it's easy to say but I trained, I could do that, I could let go, of that very very important exam in the morning. This is what you can learn in a place like this. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past, you can't change it, examination paper of your past is in, it's a waste of time thinking about it. Good or bad you can't do anything about it. I could let that one go. So, the next thought I was not concerned about the morning paper, The next thought which came up in my mind was the afternoon exam. Should I get out of my meditation, get out a book and start studying, last minute just in case and of course if you remember your studies, every time I did that, whatever I looked at, half an hour before the examination never ever came up, never, total waste of time. It was a waste of time, because this was the time I am supposed to rest, not work, if you are worried about the future, you can't stay in this present moment, and do the preparation necessary for success in the future, that preparation was resting. If you don't know how to rest you will fail again and again and again, because you don't know how to prepare your mind for the challenges it faces in the future. I had to let go of the future because I trained in meditation, it was easy to do, even though important, what I thought was a life defining moment, those afternoon examinations, I could totally forget about them and stay in the moment. So, that was called present moment awareness, when I put in the context of an important part of my life you can understand how relevant it is. But what happens next shocked me because when I stopped thinking about the past which for me was the morning exam, the future-the afternoon exam, I found out I was physically shaking, Look ! I go up here every Friday and talk to people, watched on internet by 1000s of people, I go on live TV, I am not a nervous person, but at that time I found out I was physically shaking, the pressure of final examinations had got to me, I was nervous. What shocked me even more than being nervous, was that I hadn't noticed it before that point. I've been so fixated, with the future exam, what I'v done in the past I was totally unaware of the present reality of my body. That shocked me and from that moment on I learnt why many people get sick. They get sick because you are not aware of your body, so up in the future, so up in the past, so busy, you are not here, with your body, listening to the signs. When I got into that present moment and saw I was shaking, it was pretty easy to relax the body, exactly as I told you here at the beginning of the meditation. With mindfulness, kindness the body totally relax and all that shaking stopped. The next part of that meditation when I let go of the past, let go of the future, the shaking all stopped, the next thing I noticed was how tired my brain was. How totally worn out it was. I compared it to like a tea bag which had already been used, no juice left, an old used tea bag that's what my brain felt like. And again those experiences told me again why a lot of depressions and negativity, where they come from. Most of the people in this room, if you've only noticed the status of your brain, you'll probably know it's really tired. It just really needs a rest, because I noticed the need for my brain to rest, I could just keep it not working for 10 or 15 minutes, really relax it keep it still, so by the end of that meditation, all the energy had come back to my brain. I was awake, alive, clear, energised and I still remember, my friends after the examinations they commented, I was the only student who went in to that examination hall in the afternoon with a smile on my face. I could do that because I was relaxed and that's why I did really well.

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