Stories about care
7 Buddhist wisdom stories about care from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Harrow Brook neighbours filled the sitting roomStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Mother injured; blood trail into the apartment; before the ambulance, Harrow Brook neighbours pack the sitting room asking how to help — a village in a high-rise.
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trail of blood going into my mother's apartment and before we'd know washed her before the ambulance came I don't know how many people from that Harmon Brock were inside my brother my mother sitting room asking what has happened is anything we can do to help I saw there was a village here and people actually cared for each other
- 'Now I've got you exactly where I want you'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A monk visiting his family in Chicago slips on the ice and breaks his leg. When his mother comes into the hospital room, he has never seen her smile so much. 'Now, son, I've got…
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Like one of these monks, he was visiting his family over in Chicago years ago. I know Chicago is can be really cold, very windy, and when it does get icy, it's very, very slippy in Chicago. He slipped over and he did broke his leg, break his leg. And he told me afterwards he was taken to hospital with a broken leg. And of course, you know, they contacted his mother who lived in Chicago. And when she came into the room to see her son with a broken leg, he told me he never seen his mother smile so much. She was so happy. How can you be happy when your son's in pain and broken his leg? And she said, "Now, son, I've got you exactly where I want you. You can't go back to Thailand and and become a monk or or Sri Lanka and just disappear in some cave somewhere. You're in the hospital. You can't go anywhere. Now, I'm going to mother you whether you like it or not.
- Ted's last dinnerStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ted, a Lancashire man dying of lung cancer, was one of the first patients in the new hospice next to Murdoch Hospital. Asked what he wanted for dinner, he listed what he couldn't…
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Finish off with the story of Ted. I I'll finish off now. I promise. Maybe [laughter] Ted. This guy, they just opened up St. John of God. No, no, no. One in Murdoch. Murdoch Hospice down in uh right next to Murdoch Hospital. really nice little hospital. They just opened up. So Ted was one of the first patients in there. Had lung cancer, was dying. So they put him in there to die. Just a one-way ticket. [clears throat] But with Ted, he was like from York. I got to be careful. From Lanasher. He's from on the borders between Lanasher and York. He was from Lancasher. And so the he told me afterwards I went to visit him a few times. The first night in the hospital, the nurse came up to him and said, "What do you want for dinner tonight, Ted?" And Ted said, "Well, you know, I got diabetes, so I can't have anything sweet. [gasps] I got sort of high cholesterol, so forget about anything oil or oily or or fried. I can't have anything like that. I can't have anything salty because I've got hardened arteries. I can't have. And the nurse looked at him and said, "What on earth are you talking about, Ted? You're not going to die of cholesterol or heart attack or or hardened arteries or diabetes. You're going to die of cancer in a couple of days." So Ted, the nurse said, "You can eat whatever you want. anything really. His eyes went wide apparently according to the nurse. Really? And so he had all this food, sweet, syrupy, salty, sugary, which is he told me his wife had never allowed him to eat for the last three or four years. And he ate it. Had lots of it. Why not? You're going to die soon. So, and we know what happened. Honest story. He went into remission and he walked out of that hospice. [laughter] True. I know. He's a good friend. God is his [laughter] daughter and and uh son-in-law was an ex monk and six months he had and then he went back into the hospice to die properly. [snorts] [laughter] He went back. He had six extra months because he cared for himself instead of trying to cure himself so much.
- The emperor's three questionsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Brahm summarises the short story (by Tolstoy) that changed his life: an emperor, fed up with organised religion, decides he needs only the answers to three questions — When…
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There was an emperor who was fed up with organised religions, none of it made sense to him. And all the people teaching those religions were so hypocritical. They told him to do things they didn't do themselves. So he rejected organised religions. And being an emperor, he thought "Why don't I find my own religion?" So, he got the wise people, the impressive people, he talked with them, investigated, and he finally came down to his three questions, thinking, "If only I could find the answer to these three questions, I'd have all the religion and spirituality which I needed in my life." And the three questions were, "When is the most important time? Who is the most important person? And the what is the most important thing to do?" The when, the who, the what. Now I know that many of you have heard this story before, but there are many people who haven't heard this story before. And those who haven't heard this story before, I want you to think about those three questions and what you think the answers are. If you've heard the story before, please don't spoil my fun, be quiet. Because there's a point to this. So, those were the emperor's three questions. He eventually found the answers in an unexpected source. But what are the answers? When is the most important time? Christmas time? Vesak? Friday evening when you finish work? When is the most important time? Come on. "Now". Correct, exactly. It's the most important time. So when should you say "sorry"? "Now" so turn around and say sorry to your partner for what you've done. When is the most important time to say you love your parents? Now. Please don't wait till tomorrow or this evening. Because you know, what happens? So often it happens the moment passes, you don't have that opportunity, to say how much you care for someone. You find they're dead, or they've gone overseas. Now you may think that's, such a simple and obvious answer. But if you practise that, if you take that on as one of the most important parts of your life, that 'now' really is the most important time. It really is; You'll find that your relationship to others, your relationship to life will totally change. For many people, "now" is not the most important time. We sacrifice too many moments of "now"; getting things out of the way, and then I'll be happy. For many people, "now" is not really important. That's why we get so old and all the things we should have done, we find we haven't done. Now is the most important time But the second question is the best. Who is the most important person? Yeah, can I hear you? Ah you are spoiling it. You've read it before. Most people when I say this, if they haven't heard it before, they all say "themselves", which is a wrong answer. We are in a such a self-centred society. We always think that I am the most important person in the world, which is totally wrong. And the answer, that's what I thought, first of all, because that's what I've been taught, come on, you are important. You make sure, that you get what you want. Your relationship, what satisfies you, your job which you really want What you really deserve in life. You go for it, you go and get it, you're really important. But the answer someone suggested was 'the person you're with'. The one in front of you is the most important person in the world. As soon as I heard that, this is what I mean by wisdom. You understand it. Why didn't I see that before? It is important. So whoever is in front of you, they are the most important person in the world. Give them that importance. And of course, as soon as I point that out, you know what I'm talking about, because how many times have you been talking with your partner and they've been ignoring you. They're not giving you a sense of importance. They are trying to get rid of you. I remember just when I was a student, when I read this story for the first time, Sometimes at the end of a lecture, I got up to the lecturer to ask a question. He wasn't listening to me; he was just trying to get rid of me. I was a small, hairy, insignificant student. He had better things to do. And that was a terrible feeling. That you're asking a question, and the other person was just trying to get rid of you. You weren't important to them. And if that happens to you too many times, you lose all your self-esteem, you get depressed. And you don't need to do that. So ever since I read that, and when I become a monk, one of the core practices, which I really try hard to live by, is even though I may be really tired, and you come up after the talk, and you want to ask a question, you are really important to me. I don't try and get rid of you, even if I'm really tired, because I try and practice; if you're right in front of me and I'm talking to you, you are the most important person in the world. And it's important for that. And there are many times in your life, you're by yourself. And of course, then, who you're with? You're with yourself. And then you're really important. So important that I said here before, whenever I go to bed at night, the last person I say goodnight to is myself. And I say that, "Good night me. Have a great night. See you in the morning." When I wake up in the morning, "Hi, good morning, here I am again. Have a great day me." That's no joke, I do that. I'm not crazy. And that actually is just showing that I'm important to me. Instead of just "No, you're not really important. So just sacrifice yourself, for the company, for your partner, for your kids, for other people." No, don't do that. So when you're by yourself, you are the most important person in the world. When you're with somebody, they're the most important person. And the last question, "What's the most important thing to do?" It's a obvious Buddhist answer, 'is to care', to care for yourself, to care for others.
- The glass is already crackedAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Chah's simile, holding up a glass: it has a microscopic crack — the crack of impermanence. Because it will break if dropped or kicked, we care for it; if it were…
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This was a simile I just, I don't know, I give this every other week. The glass is cracked. Can you see the crack in the glass? I gave this at a funeral recently. Can you see the crack in the glass in the front? Because the crack is microscopic, that's why you can't see it. But it's there, this actually came from Ajahn Chah, this story. The crack is there because if I drop this or someone else kicks it, it will break. It's the crack of impermanence, anicca. I know this won't last. Because this won't last, because it's impermanent, that's why I care for it. I can't kick it or mistreat it, it will break. But if this was plastic, if it was unbreakable, permanent, I wouldn't need to care for it. I could kick it, drop it, squash it and it would just rebound again, being unbreakable. It's because it's breakable, that's why we care. Because relationships won't last. They're cracked from the very beginning, that's why we care for them. Always looking after them, just like we look after this cup or this glass, because we know it's fragile. Your body is fragile, it's cracked. One day it will break, you will die, that's why we care for it. So the idea of marriage, divorce, being karmic, it's because we never realise that match is cracked, we should have taken better care of it.
- The mother who never drops her babyAnalogy · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Simile from the Mirrabooka shopping centre: mothers carry their babies through jostling crowds with a trolley in the other hand and never drop them, and the baby sleeps in total…
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I see these uh mothers with their baby in their arms. And they've got the sort of the trolley in their other arm or something. And they navigate through these shopping centers and there's lots of people bumping this way and bumping that way. They never drop their kid. Never ever. And the kid knows it so much. The kid is fast asleep. Totally trusts his mother not to drop him. But you, you know, you so watch your breath and you drop it after 5 minutes. And worse, you don't know where you've left it. But imagine that. The mother is Is a mother who's gone in the shopping center with the kid and gone back home afterwards. Say, "I I thought I had the baby with me. Where did I leave the baby? I had it somewhere." Cuz why is it the mother never drops a baby? Why is it the mother never leaves it and forgets where they've left it? Cuz the mother cares for the baby. That's all. She's not tense. She's just got this beautiful constant care. Which means the baby is always safe, never gets dropped, never gets left anywhere. See, that care is the important ingredient of mindfulness. That's what maintains it. If you care for the stages of meditation, so you care for this present moment. Don't need to control it. Don't need to force it. Don't need to hold the baby so hard you strangle the poor thing. No, you just hold it gently and you care for it and then you'll never drop it.
- The promotion won with three questionsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Penang disciple working in customer relations at a big firm puts the emperor's three questions into practice: whoever is in front of her — boss, customer or co-worker — is the…
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there was one of the disciples from pinang a couple of years ago she heard that story and she put it in her through her life and custom relations and she was in a big firm in pinang and she came up to tell me with great Glee that she applied for a promotion a prestigious promotion she had 100 150 other people applying for that job she got it and she said she got it because she used the emess three questions whenever she was in customer relations whoever was in front of her whether it was her boss a customer or a coworker they were the most important person in the world for her now was the most important time and she cared she cared for this person they felt it