Story · Ajahn Brahm

'It's nice to cry'

As told by Ajahn Brahm in Freedom: The Path To Happiness | Ajahn Brahm | 11-05-2007

1 min read

There is a lady who comes here, she's not here this evening, thank goodness [audience laughter], but she once told me that her mother would always love going to see these weepy movies, these Chinese movies and she described them to me. Apparently the Chinese movies, there's enough people here from Malaysia, Singapore here, Hong Kong that you know what I'm talking about -- boy meets girl, but boy never gets girl! Either the family or the Imperial Army or some other tragedy gets in the way [audience laughing] and in the end, boy and girl, are killed or separated. And they know that's going to happen! Every movie is the same. It's always a sad ending. So her mother would come back from the weekly trip to the movies, with red eyes, she'd been crying all the way through, all the way home, and she asked, "What the heck you do that for?" "Ah, 'cause it's nice to cry. It's so sad and so enjoyable to feel sad.

▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 9:14 (to 10:20)

A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A mother went weekly to sad films and came home red-eyed, because it's so enjoyable to feel sad. Funny, until Ajahn Brahm met a woman who had made years of grief her identity. Grief deserves time and care. But notice if sadness has become who you are. You're allowed to let it ease.

In brief (our summary)

A woman who comes to the Buddhist Society told Ajahn Brahm about her mother, who went every week to Chinese tear-jerkers in which boy meets girl but never gets her — the family or the Imperial Army always gets in the way. She knew every film would end sadly, and came home red-eyed from crying all the way through. Asked why she went, she said: 'Because it's nice to cry. It's so sad and so enjoyable to feel sad.'

Teaching point

There is a delight in negative emotions like grief, which is why we attach to them.

When this story may help

dwelling on sadness
grief

Themes

Source & credit

Told by Ajahn Brahm in Freedom: The Path To Happiness | Ajahn Brahm | 11-05-2007 · 2007-05-14 · ▶ watch from 9:14 to 10:20 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia

Caption notes: Manual (volunteer) captions; occasional misspellings kept as is.

The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version

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The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)