Stories about attachment
12 Buddhist wisdom stories about attachment from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- A map to the toiletStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Blessing a riverside mansion in Perth, Ajahn Brahm asks the way to the toilet and the lady draws him a map. Ten or twelve bedrooms — and she lives there alone. Why not have…
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that house which I went to bless I won't say where in one of the suburbs in Perth was on the river and when I went there, this huge mansion and this is no joke when I went there I was travelling from serpentine I needed to go to the toilet. And when I asked the lady where is the toilet she got out a piece of paper and drew me a map. That's a big house. It's true... that's what ... . But the point was I asked how many people live in this house I don't know how many bedrooms-10 12 bedrooms ..she said just me. I live in this house alone. And you'll find in many of those big mansions may be one person, two at most. Isn't that telling you something? What it's telling you is that in those big places people are imprisoned by their wealth. You know why ... when I asked why don't you have some friends and relations? she said 'I am afraid of my relations'
- After she died, George missed herStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Thai wife Punup (Poonsup) publicly criticises and orders her Chinese husband George every weekend at the monastery food offering. Ajahn Brahm feels sorry for him — yet when she…
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There was this Thai girl married to a Chinese man. They used to come here many years ago. I know Rodney remembers them. Punup and George. And every time they came here, this Punup, the the wife, she was so abusive to George. She would criticize him in public, shouted him to all the other people who come to offer food on a Saturday, Sunday morning. Said, "George, he's so stupid. He's an idiot. He's a terrible. George, come over here." And poor old George had to come over every time. I was just I felt so sorry for him. But you know when she died and I thought that George be free of this monster of a wife always telling him what to do and just criticize him in public in front of everybody that no he told me he misses her so much. He really missed her and it was really weird. Look, you're free now. You don't have to have all this being criticized in public. But he got used to it.
- 'George, you stupid man'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman who came to the Perth centre always belittled her husband in public — 'George, come over here. George, you stupid man.' Ajahn Brahm felt sorry for George, bullied and…
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There's this lady who's to come here and she would always she would always just embarrass her husband every time they came here. And I think, "Sir, I don't somebody may remember." It was It's George, George, come over here. George, you stupid man. George, George. And I always felt so sorry for George. And he was intimidated, he was bullied, he was harassed. And eventually, she passed away. When she passed away, I asked George afterwards, "Oh, you must be so relieved." He says, "No, I miss her so much." It's amazing what we get attached to.
- He ran for the camera and missed the HimalayasStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: On a monsoon trip near Kathmandu he hitch-rides a post truck toward the Tibetan border, climbs a small hill, and for once the clouds part on the full Himalayan range. He races…
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we found out there was the post truck. The post truck would actually deliver letters from Kathmandu, the center, over to the the Tibetan border. And you know, you what is you know, it wasn't we supposed to do this, but the post driver to get a few extra uh rupees would allow a couple of um travelers to go in the back of the post bus, you know, and take them to the Tibetan border then come back again. So, it was a really nice little trip. And so, halfway up there, stopped for tea and then there was a little hill, not a big hill. Took about half an hour to get up. We climbed up or maybe 20 minutes. Climbed up the hill and as soon as you got to the top of the hill, the clouds parted. And you could see the the clear range of the Himalaya mountains from far left to the far right. It was an amazing sight. You know what I did? I ran down the hill to get my camera. I don't know why I did this. Totally stupid. And as you know, fast as I possibly could, I was much fitter and much thinner in those days. Ran down, got the camera out of my little bag, ran back up again and as soon as I got to the top of the the the hill, I could just see just the clouds came up and closed. Just maybe 10 seconds. And then there's a there's another uh couple of travelers there, Americans. They were just They were not smiling. They were just sitting down there just enjoying. And they said, "Where did you go?" And I missed everything and I never saw those Himalayas for the whole trip, 3 months. That was my one chance and I missed it because I wanted to capture it. And to me, there were some things in life you can never capture. And thank you, I learned my lesson there. It was worth it. Later on, you see the Himalayas. But this time, I missed them because I tried to capture them
- 'It's nice to cry'Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A woman who comes to the Buddhist Society told Ajahn Brahm about her mother, who went every week to Chinese tear-jerkers in which boy meets girl but never gets her — the family…
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There is a lady who comes here, she's not here this evening, thank goodness [audience laughter], but she once told me that her mother would always love going to see these weepy movies, these Chinese movies and she described them to me. Apparently the Chinese movies, there's enough people here from Malaysia, Singapore here, Hong Kong that you know what I'm talking about -- boy meets girl, but boy never gets girl! Either the family or the Imperial Army or some other tragedy gets in the way [audience laughing] and in the end, boy and girl, are killed or separated. And they know that's going to happen! Every movie is the same. It's always a sad ending. So her mother would come back from the weekly trip to the movies, with red eyes, she'd been crying all the way through, all the way home, and she asked, "What the heck you do that for?" "Ah, 'cause it's nice to cry. It's so sad and so enjoyable to feel sad.
- The Jimi Hendrix museum was shutStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Jimi Hendrix was Ajahn Brahm's teenage idol; he even had the haircut. Giving talks in Seattle with a free afternoon, he's urged to visit the Jimi Hendrix museum. He thinks a monk…
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You know, I used to really like Jimmyi Hendris and I I was he was my big idol when I was young and my hair was all like this. I had Jimmyi Hendrick's haircut and I went to Seattle once to give some talks and I had a free afternoon. People in Seattle said, "Why didn't you go to Jimi Hendris Museum, you know, cuz it's Jimi Hendrick's Museum is in Seattle." And I thought, "I'm a monk. I shouldn't really go to such things. The monks are supposed to give up all those things." So I went and this is my karma. I went there and that afternoon, one afternoon a week it was shut. It just really taught me a lesson.
- The lawyer who tried to take it with himJoke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A dying rich lawyer, sure he can find a loophole, has his wife stash suitcases of cash in the attic above his bed so he can grab them on his way up to heaven. After the funeral…
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This really wealthy lawyer, you know, he thought he was smart. He made a lot of money. And when he got very sick and the doctor said he only had a few weeks to live, he thought, "How can I take it with me? Just because other people say you can't take it with you, I'm a lawyer. I can find loopholes so I can take it with me. So he's looking for the loophole so he could take it with him afterwards. He worked so hard to get all that money and so laying in bed having nothing else to do but think he had this brilliant idea. He told his wife he said go to the bank with my two suitcases which I usually go overseas with big suitcases. go to the bank and draw out as much money as you can from my bank account in cash. I think the biggest note is euro note, isn't it? A€,000 euro note is,000 euro notes so I can get as much money in my bags as possible. And once you brought the suitcases back, stash with millions in cash, put them in the attic just above my bed. Because my plan is when I die and I go up to heaven, I can grab the bags on my way up and take them with me. That's my plan. So the wife now, it's a waste of time arguing with husbands, especially if he's a lawyer. a waste of time. So she said, "Okay, I'll do that." So she went to the bank, got all the money out, and put them in the attic above her husband's bed, just on either side of the bed. So he went straight up. He could actually grab them. Not too far to the left, not too far to the right. She got it perfect. And a couple of days later, he died. And after doing the ceremonies for him, she went up to the attic for the first time. And of course, the bags were still there full of cash. I say, "Stupid old guy. If he'd have asked me, I'd have put the bags in the room below him cuz I know where he's gone.
- The man with four wivesStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A dying man asks each of his four wives to come with him into death. The beautiful fourth wife, his passport to high society, will only speak a eulogy. The third, who gave him…
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so once upon on a time there was a man with four wives That's a crazy guy I haven't got one wife I'm much happier he had four of them so this poor guy had four wives and he was getting towards the end of his life and he was actually on his death bed he thought he was going to die and he starts to get worried about what happens after you die and so he called his his fourth wife the wife he married lateer on in life and she was very very attractive in fact she was so beautiful she made many many things possible for him especially invitations to High Society she was his passport into the A-list of parties and receptions and concerts in the city in which he lived and so he brought her to her bed his bedside and said d I love you very much you've been so good to me she said yes I love you T darling too and he said I'm about to die that's so sad said his fourth wife and I'll be lonely without you will you come with me into death what no way I'm not going to die with you what do you think said but what I will promise you I will will go to your funeral I promise you that and I will speak a wonderful eulogy about you I'll praise you to everybody is that all said the man that's all I can do and all I will do I thought you said you love me get out of here and he chased his fourth white out and he brought his third white in he'd married her before the fourth wife and the third wife know wasn't was a bit older but still she was very attractive and in fact you know some some of these older women are very very attractive know to many men so it gives you hope doesn't it and the third wife the third wife had been really really helpful for him and she'd made probably even more things possible she made him get a comfortable house and a com a living all because of you know the third wife and what she was and so he brought his third wife in and said darling I love you very much too I'm very attached to you and she said I love you too darling and he said I'm about to die and I'm afraid will you come with me into death no it's never been done and I can't do that I won't do that but one thing I can promise you I won't just go to your funeral I'll pay for it and I'll make sure you get a wonderful funeral and he said but then what would you do he said well after you're dead I'll probably go with your eldest son what as adultery and I haven't even died yet get out of here you Shameless scary wag Hy and said his third wife he still had two to go so he brought his and his second wife he married his second wife a long long time ago and she wasn't pretty at all but she was one of those women who was really wise and helpful she was always there for him especially in times of trouble and she looked at his second wife said well I've know you for such a long time I'm about to die I'm I'm really afraid of dying and being alone will you I know these other two said no but will you please come with me into death and the second wife looked at him and started crying said darling i' really love to if I could I would but all I can do is come to your gravite that's as far as I can come I'm sorry get out he said and he still had one wife left and this wife he' known her for so long he couldn't remember the time before he met her and she was very neglected the two later wives got all of the the jewelry and the fine clothes and so the first wife she was very poorly dressed bad hair but behind the scenes she was working so hard for him he never really appr appreciated her or really supported or helped her at all and he looked at her and said you're my last chance I've known you for so long and I'm so connected to you and she said yeah we've got this very deep connection together and he ask the question I'm about to die will you come with me into death and she smiled and said sure I will I go with you everywhere that's why my name is Mrs Karma I go with you from life to life and your second wife Mrs family your family love you and they will always support you and be there with you and they can go as far as your gravide but no more you can't take them with you and and as for the third wife that was called Mrs money you usually get that later on in your life and Mrs money can pay for a wonderful funeral for you and Mrs money can do so much for you in this life but can Mrs money go with you into death no after you die Mrs money will go with your eldest son or at least with one of your children maybe to the lawyer I don't know that's the inheritance and the fourth wife which you get last of all in life is called Mrs Fain your reputation who makes many things possible for you entry into the A-list of society maybe if you're very famous and makes and will give you a good ulog a good word at your death who you were and what you did but can your Fame and reputation go with you no said the fourth wife it can't be done and that's the symy of the man with the four wives it can be the woman with the four husbands is only a metaphor of all these things which we love and care for and think of ours which know we attached to our Fame our Fortune our family and this thing called karma that's the only thing which you take with you
- The monkey who wouldn't let go of the bananaStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Hunters hollow out a coconut, cut a hole just big enough for a monkey's hand, tie it to a tree and put a banana inside. The monkey grabs the banana but can't pull out its fist;…
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There is this old Buddhist story and it is a great one which the Buddha told this about how stupid attachments are and how it kills people. It's an old story about how people used to catch monkeys. It is very easy to catch a monkey. All they did was to get a coconut from the forest, hollow it out, you can drink the juice and have the coconut white stuff and then make a little hole in the coconut and they chain or tie the coconut to a tree. And all they did was put a banana inside the coconut and just go home. Of course the monkeys love bananas. So the next day the monkey would find the banana and put his hand in the coconut but the hole is big enough to put a hand in but not big enough to take a hand with the banana in out. So the monkey can't take the banana out. He can take his hand out anytime he wants but not the hand with the banana it's just too big. And the hunter comes along and the monkey sees a hunter and tries even more frantically to get the banana out but he can't and the hunter gets even closer, and the monkey tries everything to get the banana out but he won't that's how the hunter catches the monkey. All the monkey needs to do is to let go the banana, get his hand out and just go but he can't you know why? Because that's my banana. I found that banana, it's mine.
- The prankster ghost and the three leavesStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Two young English friends share a house in Perth; one dies young of cancer, promising to come back and haunt his mate. Pranks follow: the shower turning cold, the lounge…
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one of our members he's got a great Ghost Story one of his friends let's go back for earlier his friend I moved to to Australia to Perth from England two young men they were friends so they shared a house together as they shared a house there two guys you know they weren't gay or anything they're just um to uh say on R when out had a great time but one of them developed cancer very young he died but before he died he always says I'm going to come back and Haun you you know like what some young people say I'm going to come back and Haun you and apparently he did and he was you know what you call those Lans always like doing practical jokes and so the other fellow who kept the house you know his girlfriend moved in after his mate died and little things would happen like be in the shower and it would turn from the hot to cold so you turn the hot on and it' be boiling little silly things like that but he said and he's quite sure about this one day he went out to work when he came home all the furniture from the landro was in the garden and there was just silly little things but sometimes you know if it's a a mate a friend they do this little jokes on you and his wife apparently could see him his wife wife never knew him and could see this Spectre in the in the house and described he said oh yeah that's him and so they just after all I just accommodate to these people but this member of our Buddha Society I better not say who it is he went to visit his friend I don't believe in ghosts she's just making it up and he was having coffee with his friend at the time and his friend said look he's he's around I'm sure he's around and he asked his friend come and prove to this visitor that you exist there's a pot plant on the table a leaf fell off that pot plant floated horizontally and then went down on the edge of the table half on half off and the visitor said no that's just it's just a wi just [Applause] coincidence and then another Lea fell off horizontal and then went vertically down exactly on top of the second Leaf no no no no just Charles thirdly exactly the same hor is onto straight down on the edge of that Lea and our friend who comes here said I've got to go and just jumped in his bed and just put the foot on the acceler just w didn't run away H you can have nothing to be afraid of it's just ghost playing around
- The worm in the pile of dungStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A good monk reborn in heaven searches every realm for his misbehaving friend and finds him reborn as a worm in dung; he offers to take him to heaven, but the worm, hearing there…
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Once there were two monks, two Buddhist monks. And I say this because I'm a monk myself, not all monks behave well. There are many scallywag monks. Unfortunately, those are the ones people like to read about in the newspapers. The good monks very rarely get in the newspapers. It's not newsworthy to say "Ajahn Brahm meditated for the last three months." But if Ajahn Brahm did something stupid like went to the casino or whatever, then of course -- or got drunk because somebody gave us a cake steeped in alcohol -- then you might sort of put it in the newspaper. But... one of the monks, of these two monks misbehaved. The other one was a good monk. So when they died one of the monks got reborn in a beautiful heaven realm, while the other naughty monk got reborn as a worm in a pile of shit. And as monks, we have a lot of friendship and community and fellowship. Like even here we try and look after each other. And so after a few, who knows, days up in heaven this ex-monk who was born as a heavenly being started to think "Where is my friend? My old mate? I haven't seen him for a couple of days." So when you get reborn in a heaven realm, according to Buddhism, you have all these powers and so he used some of his powers to search his heaven realm for his friend. He couldn't find him anywhere there. So he went up a couple levels of heaven trying to find him there. He wasn't there either. Lower heavenly realms, couldn't find him there. He said, ah -- according to Buddhism the rebirth as a human being is one of the best rebirths because it's not too much happiness, not too much suffering, a great place to become enlightened -- he said "Ah, my friend, he's been reborn as a human being again. I bet that's what's happened, why I can't find him in heaven." So he searched around the human realm. No trace there either. "My goodness," he thought, "he didn't do some really bad karma and got reborn as a dog or a cat...?" So he looked in the realm of the dogs and the cats. I know some people here think being reborn as a dog is a wonderful rebirth because you don't have to go to work on a Monday morning, but that's not the case. If you think that being reborn as a dog is a good idea, please remember what they do to a dog after one or two weeks when it's born. They take it to the vet and you know what they do to it there. So if you want that... [laughs] Anyway, he couldn't find his friend as a dog or a cat, so he looked at all the other animals. Still couldn't find his friend. He wouldn't give up. He started looking in the lower realms of the creepy crawlies, and there, to his shock and surprise, he saw his best friend was born as a worm in a pile of shit. Now, what would you do if that was your friend? You go and help them out. So he went up to that pile of stinky poo and actually called out and said "Hey worm, worm! Do you remember me? We were monks in a past life. We were the best of friends. Now, you've made some bad karma, but don't worry I can get you out of this. Come with me up to heaven." And the worm in the pile of dung said "First of all I'd like to ask some questions. Number one, is there any shit up in heaven? Of course there's no shit in heaven! It's pure and fragrant and lovely stuff there. He said "If there's no shit I'm not going." "Why not?" He said, "Well look, it's fragrant. It smells so beautiful. It's so warm and cozy inside and it's also my food." Imagine -- there's lots of sort of Asian people here -- imagine you got reborn sort of in a big pile of noodles. [laughter] Or if there's any westerners here like reborn in a big hamburger so you can eat it all your day. I don't know what else you like. But he said "No I'm not going to go." Because this was his home, this was his food, this is where he belonged; he liked it. And so that heavenly being tried to pull the worm out. And remember worms which live in piles of dung are smeared with slimy shit and so it's very hard to take them out, especially when they don't want to go. So the worm would wriggle and writhe, and every time this heavenly being took it out a little bit, it would escape and go right in the middle of the dung again. Now this heavenly being, imagine like you were sort-of a high being, you had to put your hand in this most stinky, smelliest stuff. His friendship was so strong he would not give up. Because he thought "If I could just take my friend the worm up to heaven so he could just see for himself, of course he would give up his shit and come up to heavens, it's so much nicer." But of course because the worm never wanted to go, it wriggled and writhed, and escaped every time and eventually the heavenly being had to give up and leave the worm to his pile of shit.
- “You're taking away my grief”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After a talk at a grief-and-loss conference on letting go, a woman complains bitterly that Ajahn Brahm is taking away her grief — grief had become her identity and her source of…
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But one of the women afterwards, after hearing my talk, came up to complain bitterly. Her complaint was "Are you saying I shouldn't grieve? Are you saying it's wrong to grieve? You're taking away my grief," she complained For her, she had associated with grief and she became Mrs. Grief whatever her name was. But that's her persona, that's who she was. And she would go to many of those conferences and she'd get a lot of support from her friends. That's who she was and she was not willing to give it up.