Story · Ajahn Brahm
The jarrah boat coffin that stuck halfway
Content note: death humour
The story — as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)
Because there was an open funeral at Fremantle cemetery, you know. Not one of the chapels you've got like… you do the ceremony here and you take the box over to Fremantle. They're just outside. They've got a little conveyor belt. You put it on there, do your stuff and it just goes inside and gets cremated. But at the time it's actually my fault. Because I found out legally you don't have to buy a coffin. You can make your own. But it has to be a certain size. And because this fellow was into white water rafting he made it in the shape of a boat with little paddles on the top. It was him. It was who he was. The trouble was they made it out of jarrah which is incredibly heavy wood. So just getting it out of the the hearse and onto the it took about 10 people to actually lift it up and put it on there. That was okay. But after the saving when you do the commitment of the coffin you press the little button and the conveyor belt sort of goes and the little glass partition moves back, all synchronized, it goes through and the glass partition closes. What happened, it was so heavy that poor motor was struggling to move the conveyor belt. So it only got halfway through when the glass door closed and jammed against it. Halfway in, halfway out. You know what the wife did? The wife grieving for a lovely husband, she jumped on the conveyor belt and started to push. And everyone said “are you trying to get rid of him that much?” And it was a big mistake. But instead of getting embarrassed everybody started laughing. One of his friends reminded everybody that, you know, he knew him before he got married, you know, when he first got his first car he crashed his first car on his first day driving it. Just like the first day and his coffin is crashed out too. Typical of Steve. That was such a memorable funeral.
▶ Watch Ajahn Brahm tell it from 37:06 (to 39:19)
A reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)
Steve's boat-shaped coffin was so heavy the conveyor stalled halfway, and his widow climbed on to push. Instead of mortification, the room filled with laughter, and a friend remembered him crashing his first car on day one. Grief and humour can sit side by side. Sometimes the mishap becomes the truest tribute to who someone was.
In brief (our summary)
A white-water rafter's family make his coffin as a boat with paddles — out of jarrah, so heavy ten people lift it. At the committal the conveyor belt stalls and the glass partition jams on it halfway in; his grieving wife jumps on the belt and pushes. Everyone laughs — and a friend recalls he crashed his first car on day one: “Typical of Steve.”
Teaching point
When things go wrong, embracing and laughing at it makes it memorable rather than shameful.
When this story may help
- funeral
- planning a funeral
- grief with laughter
Themes
Source & credit
Told by Ajahn Brahm in How To Not Have Any Stress | Ajahn Brahm | 12 May 2017 · 2017-05-12 · ▶ watch from 37:06 to 39:19 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia
5 other tellings of this story
- Uncertainty | Ajahn Brahm | 15-07-2011 · 2011-07-16 · ▶ watch from 45:17 to 47:55 · Buddhist Society of Western Australia2011 telling: Ajahn Brahm takes the blame for suggesting a home-made coffin; the funeral director's 'worst nightmare' face; Jenny (in the audience) jumps on the coffin and pushes; 'that was him, he probably did it on purpose'. Same couple as 'Steve, you can die' (brahm-jenny-gives-steve-permission).
- Life Is A Series Of Unexpected Events | Ajahn Brahm | 3 March 2017 · 2017-03-03 · ▶ watch from 50:30 to 52:21 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaUnexpected-events telling: jarrah coffin too heavy for Fremantle conveyor; screen jams halfway; Jenny pushes; 'first day he crashed his car / coffin' joke.
- How to deal with mistakes | Ajahn Brahm | 10-10-2014 · 2014-10-13 · ▶ watch from 32:33 to 34:21 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaOct 2014 telling (Jenny present): he advised they could make their own coffin; thick jarrah jams Fremantle conveyor; Jenny pushes; car-crash joke.
- Detachment | Ajahn Brahm | 18th March 2022 · 2022-03-18 · ▶ watch from 43:09 to 44:58 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaMar 2022 telling (nested after permission-to-die): jarrah ('jarwood') boat coffin with oars; conveyor jams halfway; Jenny pushes; school friend joke.
- Coffins and Living | Ajahn Brahm | 29-10-2010 · 2010-10-31 · ▶ watch from 17:11 to 17:44 · Buddhist Society of Western AustraliaOct 2010 telling: Steve's whitewater coffin with oars; too heavy for the conveyor.
The narrative is Ajahn Brahm's own telling, quoted from the talk captions. The summary and reflection are Being Mindful Stories's editorial notes. Please credit the teacher and link the original talk. Markdown version