Stories about funerals
14 Buddhist wisdom stories about funerals from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' at a funeralStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At the funeral Ajahn Brahm conducts for a regular member, Mike Wright, the last piece of music — chosen by Mike, who told his wife — is 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'…
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except for that funeral service I gave for one of our members a couple of weeks ago, Mike Wright. Many of you if you saw him, you'd remember him— he was a regular here. And at the end of his funeral service— he told his wife this, apparently, that the last song, piece of music, at the end of his funeral service was from the 'Life of Brian', 'Look on the Bright Side of Life'. I really recommend that for funeral services for Buddhists. It made everyone laugh and happy at the very end.
- Be quiet — children learning sadness at funeralsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At funeral services Ajahn Brahm has watched lively children run, play and laugh until adults snap 'be quiet, shut up'; the children's faces show confusion, then they become quiet…
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I've just noticed sometimes that when little children come into the service they're just full of energy and full of life they run around they play they joke and they laugh and I've seen the adults say be quiet shut up and I've seen those little children just their face show confusion and then be quiet and be sad because they're taught that that's what you have to do when you go to a funeral ceremony I've seen for so many years now how we condition our children to be sad when somebody dies and it's not natural it's imposed upon us
- “But I'm alive — it was my husband who died!”Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a funeral Ajahn Brahm eulogises the wrong parent; the very-much-alive mother stands up at the back to correct him.
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I was telling the funeral director about one of the funerals I did once for a couple who comes here. One of their parents died. I'm doing the funeral service and saying, "Oh, it's such a shame that your mother passed away, she was such a good Buddhist, and she'd done so much." Then this old lady stood up at the back and said, "It's not me, it's my husband. I'm alive! It's he who's dead."
- Coralie wrestled him into a funeral hugStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At Clem Kentish's funeral his daughter Coralie (farm girl who wrestled sheep) insisted on hugging the monk despite the rule; he said no — she said yes — and he had no chance.
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His daughter Corali you know she knew how much he loved our monks and the good friendship we had. So, you know what happens in Australia after a funeral sort of, you know, she came I came up to give my best wishes and she said, "Uh, uh, can I give you a hug? You're not supposed to hug monks if you're girls." And I said, "No, you can't do that." She said, "Yes, I can." [laughter] Now, don't any of you try that because she would wrestle sheep. She was a farm farm girl. I didn't have a chance
- Hawaiian shirts at funeralsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Early Perth funerals are all black; he wants funeral directors in Hawaiian shirts — kids arrive full of life then learn sadness from black clothes and faces.
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when I first started doing funeral services here in Perth people were always in Black okay now that this some people have white but I want Funeral Directors to start wearing Hawaiian shirts a nice nice dresses or nice clothes not all this miserable stuff which actually makes people more and more depressed because uh to cry cases I've seen kids and kids are great teachers for me children come into these funerals playing around being naughty like children should be and they're full of life and joy and happiness and then they see everybody else just black wearing black and their faces look sort of black as well and these little kids full of life you can see just the the joy of life just go out of them
- Singapore Airlines after the Friday talkStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A supporter who had bailed out Jhana Grove finances lost her husband; they asked him to do the Saturday funeral in Singapore. After the Friday talk he flew overnight, arrived…
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I got a call from Singapore that the husband of one of our um supporters had really helped us so many times. Even just when we got John Cowell for our retreat center, we just didn't have enough money to pay the bills. And when I went to over to Thailand, she said, "How much?" And I said, "Here's a check." She did it. And a a little Well, maybe a little thing or big thing like that, I always remember that. People really helped me, got me out of difficult situations. I will never forget you. Her husband died. And they called up I think in the morning of Friday. And said, "Can you come, please, tomorrow for the funeral on Saturday?" I said, "That's impossible. I've got to give a talk on a Friday night. I've got so many things to do. It's a really stupid thing to try and probably won't be able to get a flight." So, I rang up Singapore Airlines and got a flight. Leaving right after the Friday night talk. That's so stupid. I just arrived in Singapore on Saturday morning, sort of really tired, half asleep, but did the funeral for her
- The bikies' funeralStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A young bikie hits a lamp post and dies; his Buddhist mother asks Ajahn Brahm to support her, and he ends up conducting the funeral in Fremantle. The bikies come in leathers and…
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I remember going to a funeral service. I mentioned this because I was at a funeral service over in Freo um last Wednesday and it was for a bikey funeral. You know, it was real bikes. One of their members had hit a lamp post and died. And the m their mother was a Buddhist and invited me to come to the funeral to, you know, support her. In the end, I ended up doing the funeral service. One of the best funerals I've ever done cuz no bikes. They came in all their leathers and chains and whatever else they had on. and all their their girlfriends again came as if they were going to a dance or a nightclub, not a funeral. They're all dressed up. That was their culture. But I looked a bit weird as well to them cuz I was dressed in brown. And I ended up doing the funeral service. But there was so I always remember it because after the funeral service was concluded, they all came up to me, nice service, sir. Thank you for that, sir. They were just so polite. It totally changed my idea of a, you know, bikey just I was on their side that day
- The coffin stuck halfway downStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At a Chinese disciple's burial the ornate knobs on the coffin catch on the way down the grave; it sticks halfway. Ajahn Brahm has to chant about five times while they struggle to…
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don't put so much knobs on the outside of the casket because they had this this um burial and they had so many ornaments on the outside of the coffin which they stuck on there. It looked really just very very like a little palace this fellow was being committed to. But when they lowered it into the hole, had so many knobs on the outside it got stuck halfway down. And there was your coffin. It hadn't got to the bottom. It wasn't to the top. They tried to move it and it was stuck stuck fast. And I, you know, do some chanting as it was being lowered down. And it hadn't been finished lowering down. So I did the chanting again another time. About five times I had to chant while they were trying to dispose this coffee which had got stuck halfway down
- The conservative parents who became friendsStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: One of Ajahn Brahm's first Perth funerals is for a young British Buddhist of 23 or 24 who dies of cancer at Bethesda hospice. His very formal, conservative Christian parents fly…
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there was this young guy he was from UK and he he's only about 23 24 he developed cancer his terminal and he was over in one of the first hospices which was I was at um over in Netherlands by the river the old hospital over there somewhere what was it called again Netherlands or Del Keith somewhere Betha okay that sounds right Betha anyway so I went to see him in there and you know there's nothing you could really do you know he was dying but he was a Buddhist so when he actually died and I would did the funeral service his parents came over from UK and his parents were just this quintessential like um country folk from from UK you know they lived in a village they were very very formal very um conservative very Christian and when they saw me come into the the room for the funeral of their only son just their drawers dropped oh God what's what's doing the funeral for our only son and that's actually what I started off with you could see just it was almost like disappointment very severe disappointment this was their only son who died tragically of cancer and this guy in a funny robe was doing the funeral service for them at the end of the funeral service about 25 years ago they were so impressed they gave a $500 donation you know just out of joy and they they um made a decision that when they die that I have to do their funeral service for them and also that their ashes would get spread at bodana Monastery they became really really good friends the mother died her ashes were spread over bodana Monastery uh he's getting a bit old now he'd always come every year to our bana Monastery became a really really dear friend
- The cremation pyre exploded — and Ajahn Liem went to bedStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: Ajahn Liem, long Ajahn Chah's acting abbot, builds the crematorium for his teacher's royal funeral — a structure that still stands as a stupa. With the King of Thailand present…
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and when aena died he was in charge of all the funeral services and the king of Thailand attended this this was a big show so this monk built actually the funeral the crematorium for him which actually doubled as a as a stoer a monument which is still there now and he put all this time and money into building this place where his Great Master would be cremated and I was there at the time you know I went there ad cha was there my predecessor and AD made all these monks and the King was there and when they lit sort of the P inside this box the Box exploded Flames came out from everywhere it was a disaster and there were with hoses trying to hose the thing down and people were running around it was just a complete mess and what the mount responsible this agan Le what did he do instead of worrying about anything he took one look and then went to bed had to sleep I thought wow now that's a real monk I wish I could do that when everything goes wrong oh never mind just go and have a nice rest can you do that no you worry and worry and run around what can I do how can I fix this and he said ah just never mind he did his best doesn't matter his master won't get crated that day can always do it tomorrow
- The jarrah boat coffin that stuck halfwayStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A white-water rafter's family make his coffin as a boat with paddles — out of jarrah, so heavy ten people lift it. At the committal the conveyor belt stalls and the glass…
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Because there was an open funeral at Fremantle cemetery, you know. Not one of the chapels you've got like… you do the ceremony here and you take the box over to Fremantle. They're just outside. They've got a little conveyor belt. You put it on there, do your stuff and it just goes inside and gets cremated. But at the time it's actually my fault. Because I found out legally you don't have to buy a coffin. You can make your own. But it has to be a certain size. And because this fellow was into white water rafting he made it in the shape of a boat with little paddles on the top. It was him. It was who he was. The trouble was they made it out of jarrah which is incredibly heavy wood. So just getting it out of the the hearse and onto the it took about 10 people to actually lift it up and put it on there. That was okay. But after the saving when you do the commitment of the coffin you press the little button and the conveyor belt sort of goes and the little glass partition moves back, all synchronized, it goes through and the glass partition closes. What happened, it was so heavy that poor motor was struggling to move the conveyor belt. So it only got halfway through when the glass door closed and jammed against it. Halfway in, halfway out. You know what the wife did? The wife grieving for a lovely husband, she jumped on the conveyor belt and started to push. And everyone said “are you trying to get rid of him that much?” And it was a big mistake. But instead of getting embarrassed everybody started laughing. One of his friends reminded everybody that, you know, he knew him before he got married, you know, when he first got his first car he crashed his first car on his first day driving it. Just like the first day and his coffin is crashed out too. Typical of Steve. That was such a memorable funeral.
- They lost the plot (Guildford Cemetery)Joke · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: After the joke about funeral directors who 'lost the plot', Ajahn Brahm recalls it really happening at Guildford Cemetery: walking ahead of the hearse, the funeral director…
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I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite They lost the plot For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and As we're doing the procession from the gates and when they were going and just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here
- Waving from the stretch limoStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A Buddhist family's first child, born with complications, dies after a few months despite the doctors' best efforts. The parents are too upset to attend, so they ask Ajahn Brahm…
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I went into a stretch limo once you know the occasion I was in the back of a stretch limo because part of being a monk doing funeral services and it's the only time I've been in a limo because what actually happened it was it was a sad occasion because this family of Buddhists you know the first child you know died you know was born with complications and after a few months they tried their very best the doctors gave 100% ENT trying to keep this kid alive but you know sometimes it doesn't work so the child died and the parents they were just too upset actually to go to the funeral service so they asked me can I just go uh with the casket you know to the um pratorum and just do a little bit of bush chanting and just me myself the two funeral directors and the coffin and of course you know they wanted to send their kid off in the best possible way so they hired a stretch limo for it so there was like you know have you ever been in a stretch there most huge car and this these two seats like facing each other so you know in the front was the little coffin which was only a tiny thing no one could see that and I was in the back and these two uniform drivers were in the front and so every time we stopped the traffic lights this was about made 20 years ago when the first stretch lios came people actually you know look through the window to see who was this guy with two uniform chauffeurs in a stretch limo and of course when they look through the window they couldn't see the coffin they could just see me so I waved regally everybody
- Wrong cemetery, and a hearse with three heavy passengersStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A former Sydney funeral director tells how hearses sometimes go to the wrong cemetery, and how on one body-collection run with three very heavy people in the back, the rear…
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one of the friends over in Sydney He was a funeral director before and he said sometimes sometimes. They actually do Go to the wrong cemetery So you know they've got no two funerals one is they a Fremantle one is up in a row when they arrive there They should be a few at Fremantle. Yeah, you should be up in away Well that's when they had to collect the bodies You know it's it, and so just to be able to to get enough. You know to make it worthwhile They had had to be three three bodies in the back of the hearse one So just taking it to the funeral parlor not there to the funeral well They took it there know some of the people you know a bit sort of you know just overweight and had three really heavy people and so the poor hearse It was actually so heavy in the back the metal of the front back bumper was actually scraping on the bitumen And you can't actually stop and unload somebody and pick him up later, so they're in big trouble there