Mistaken for a circus clown

Related stories

• “You're dressed like a girl. That's sick.”

  In brief: While loading the overloaded Kombi van in North Perth in his first years in Australia, a 14-year-old visiting her grandmother next door…

  Read full story▾▴

  This little 14 year old girl came out roughly about 14 She was visiting her grandma in the house next door and she came up and looked at me with All the disgust only a teenage girl can actually give She had her hands on her hips and look me up and down I Can't do disgust, but you know really yeah, and he said looked at me and said you're dressed like a girl That's sick She was really trying to upset me because I can see her point you know you're wearing a skirt And a bald head, but girls don't wear board heads. I'm uh sort of beanie on or something, but anyway She was really disgusted authoress was so funny

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• Nasrudin at the archery stall: “That was me”

  In brief: Mulla Nasrudin takes his students to a fair and tries the archery stall. The first arrow falls short — “the shot of a hasty man”; the…

  Read full story▾▴

  And there's one of these Sufi stories, Nasrudin stories, when - this was like a Mulla in Persia, before it was called Iran, many, many years ago. A great Sufi story. Now, in those days, any people of religion were very highly respected. You know, not so much these days. But they were like pillars of society. Now, this pillar of society, this great Mullah who was so respected in the community, decided to take his students to the fair for an outing. They had been meditating and studying and practicing so hard, "Let's give them a day out". So he took them to the fair. And at that fair there were many stalls. And one of the stalls was an archery stall. Just like the old coconut shys, but with bows and arrows. And if you managed to hit the target, the ball, you would get a prize. And so this Mulla Nasrudin said, "Yes, this looks easy enough. Give me a bow and three arrows!" And so he paid over, you know, a few dollars. And all his students were really surprised, because he was like a holy man. What does a holy man know about weapons like a bow and arrow? He said, "Oh, it's just concentration. Just mindfulness. That's all it is." "You know, I can do this!" So he put the first arrow in the bow. And everyone was really quite surprised. It's like if you give me a bow and arrow. I've never shot a bow and arrow in my life. You know, could the power of Samadhi, if Ajahn Brahm had a bow and arrow, how accurate would he be? And that's what they were thinking with this Mulla. And so he pulled the - put the bow - put the arrow in the bow - see, even I don't know which one goes in which - put the arrow in the bow and shot it, and it only went about halfway to the target. It didn't even, you know - not even miss it, it just didn't get there to miss it. And everybody started to giggle, because the guy was making a fool of himself. And people love it when people in authority make a fool of themselves. And then he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of a hasty man". And then he put his second arrow in the bow. And this time, he took more time. And he pulled that arrow further back as the wood of the bow stretched. And he shot the next arrow and it certainly made the distance, but went about, you know, a $2 train ride to the left. It missed it a long way. And people really started to guffaw. And he just turned around and said, "That, that was a shot of an arrogant man". And then he put his last and third arrow in the bow. Took his time, aimed and shot that. And that one went right in the middle of the bullseye. But as he claimed his prize, the relieved students said, "Well, if the first shot was the shot of a hasty man and the second was a shot of an arrogant man, what was the third shot?" And he said, "That was my shot. That was me.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• Under a gynaecologist, and no pyjamas

  In brief: On his last hospital stay, at Rockingham, Ajahn Brahm is admitted under a family-friend doctor who is a gynaecologist — his bed sign…

  Read full story▾▴

  That was about 26 years ago now. Yeah 26 years ago was the last time I went to hospital. It was in Rockingham Hospital. It's very interesting because the fellow who looked after me it's actually the secretary Gita's father. And he's a gynecologist. But because he knew me sort of he said oh let's… I'll take you in and I'll look after you. So, on the bed there was: Ajahn Brahm's doctor: dr Mendez, gynecologist. I do look weird enough wearing these robes. But being under a gynecologist, that was really cool. And all the nurses, “what, what are you?” good fun. But especially when you check in you know, you've got to check in first of all. The first question they asked me at the reception: “where's your pyjamas?” “monks don't have pajamas.” “but you've got to have pyjamas.” “but I don't have any!” “but you have to.” I said “listen. It's these robes or nothing. Take your choice.” and actually they let me wear my robes.

  Open story page·Watch this telling

• The punk and the old man

  In brief: On a New York train a punk with multi-coloured spikes, razor-blade earrings and piercings snaps at the old man opposite: 'What are you…

  Read full story▾▴

  And I remember this story about, I think it was somewhere in New York. There was this old man sitting opposite one of these punks, just spiky hair, about 20 different colours, and razor blades coming from his ears. His clothes were just really multi-coloured, you really need a pair of sunglasses to look at him. And there were just piercings all over his face. And then there's a guy opposite him, you can't help, he's right in front, you have to look at him. And so the punk shouted out, 'what are you looking at old man?' And he said, oh, just you, Didn't you ever do anything a bit outrageous when you were young? Oh yes, I did. When I was in the Navy, I had sex with a parrot, I thought you might be my son.

  Open story page·Watch this telling