# “You're dressed like a girl. That's sick.”

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-dressed-like-a-girl
- Themes: criticism, self-image, humour
- Life situations: being judged for appearance, feeling different, criticism from strangers

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

While loading the overloaded Kombi van in North Perth in his first years in Australia, a 14-year-old visiting her grandmother next door eyes the robed, bald monk with teenage disgust: “You're dressed like a girl. That's sick.” He found it very funny.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

This little 14 year old girl came out roughly about 14 She was visiting her grandma in the house next door and she came up and looked at me with All the disgust only a teenage girl can actually give She had her hands on her hips and look me up and down I Can't do disgust, but you know really yeah, and he said looked at me and said you're dressed like a girl That's sick She was really trying to upset me because I can see her point you know you're wearing a skirt And a bald head, but girls don't wear board heads. I'm uh sort of beanie on or something, but anyway She was really disgusted authoress was so funny

## Teaching point

Other people's opinions of how you look need not disturb you.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A fourteen-year-old looked the robed, bald monk up and down with pure teenage disgust: you're dressed like a girl, that's sick. He thought it was hilarious. When someone mocks how you look, it says more about their world than yours. If you can find it funny, the opinion loses its sting, and you gain a good story.

## Source

- [Stress - Overreaction to Life | Ajahn Brahm | 9 March 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEpeaWywKi4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 33:39 to 34:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEpeaWywKi4&t=2019s

Other tellings of this story:

- [No Fear | Ajahn Brahm | 20-05-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIMWm5JnNrE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 22:42 to 24:32: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIMWm5JnNrE&t=1362s
- [Expectations Cause Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 24 June 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z8q_FWbWa8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 2:43 to 3:49: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z8q_FWbWa8&t=163s
- [Courage | Ajahn Brahm | 8 Jul 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKlatq90npY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 23:04 to 24:05: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKlatq90npY&t=1384s
- [Living Without Blame | Ajahn Brahm | 05-12-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5c4h7Tmo0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 12:41 to 14:09: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5c4h7Tmo0&t=761s
- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:34 to 36:36: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo&t=2134s
- [Beginning of Your Spiritual Life | Ajahn Brahm | 17 February 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8VwV58VE-4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 40:26 to 41:04: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8VwV58VE-4&t=2426s
- [Letting Go | Ajahn Brahm | 15 May 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PegeDdxN3WI) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 42:26 to 43:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PegeDdxN3WI&t=2546s