Stories about self-esteem
8 Buddhist wisdom stories about self-esteem from Buddhist teachers, each linked to the original talk.
- Best friends on the school busStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: On a bus home from teaching at a school, Ajahn Brahm sits behind two 13- or 14-year-old best friends whose whole conversation is picking faults: flat chest, no boyfriend; big…
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I was on a bus coming back from, I think was teaching at a school, coming back here. And just sitting behind two girls, maybe about 13 or 14, on the way back from school, best friends, and listening to what they were saying. I was overhearing them sitting right behind them, and listen to their conversation. I wasn't so shocked, because it reminded me of my school days, the conversation went something like you've got flat, flat breasts, you're never gonna get a boyfriend, but you got a big nose, you're not gonna get one either. And it always came picking faults in one another. And these were the best friends.
- Class A and Class BStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: An English school splits a year group into two classes of exactly equal ability by exam score — only the headmistress and two psychologists know the results — with equally good…
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This was a story of a test which was done in a school in England. Two classes of kids, the end of the year exams, you know, we just done the end of the year exams for our kids in school here in Western Australia. The school year is just finished or about to finish. And it's usually the usual thing is on the basis of the results this year, you know, that's how you'll be graded for, you know, the streams of learning for next year. And there was one school did this really interesting experiment. They had two classes in one year and having done their examination, they never published the results. There was, if I remember correctly, the head mistress and two psychologists were the only ones who knew what scores every kid got. But instead, what they did, they allocated the children as evenly as they possibly could. The kid who came top went in the same class as a kid who came fifth and sixth. No, fourth and fifth. Yeah. Fourth and fifth, 8th and 9th, 12th and 13th, 16th and 17th. They all went in one class. The kids who came second and third, sixth and seventh, 10th and 11th went in the other class. So they split the classes up as evenly as they possibly could. And the head mistress tried to find teachers who she thought were equally good. And they even went as far as to find classrooms with equal facilities. They made everything equal as possible except for one thing. They called one of those classes class A and the other one class B. And they were totally equal in ability based on the exam results. and they wanted to find out what would happen next year. Half of those kids went into class A and they weren't more brilliant, but their parents said, "I don't know how you did it, son. You're in class A. Carry on. Well done." And even the kids who came second and third going into class B. I want you to work harder next year. You know, no more privileges for you, more homework. the the parents thought class B meant the worst and even the teachers taught her to a lower level and the kids be know with her in class B the kids started to believe the class A kids were superior than the class B kids because one year later when they gave the exam again the children in class A did so well as if they were the top half chosen from the year before. And the class B kids did terribly. Literally after one year, half those children became class A children and the other one became class B simply because they gave that label and they believed in it, they became it.
- His grandfather said you're stupidStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A brilliant monk in the monastery did terribly at school because his beloved grandfather once looked at his results and said 'you're stupid'. He believed it and stopped trying;…
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one day his grandfather took him aside saw his school results so far and said you're stupid and he loved his grandfather so much he believed it and he said from that moment on sort of he didn't do what at school at all everything else is brilliant if his grandfather hadn't said that he'd have been at University he's a very smart Monk
- “I haven't got a tail — I'm not a dog”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A parent tells Ajahn Brahm that their bullied son used a Thai teaching he'd brought back: if someone calls you a dog, look at your bottom to see if you have a tail; if not,…
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They said their son was being bullied at school, bullying is a big thing. And they said a little teaching which really helped them, a very simple teaching, was that teaching which I took back from Thailand, which means that you don't listen to other people's criticisms. It was that teaching, if somebody calls you a dog, you look at your bottom to see if you've got a tail. If you haven't got a tail, you're not a dog, it is the end of the problem. And this actually happened because these bullies, they called this kid a dog, and he would remember the story, this was a kid at school, remember the story, he looked at his bottom, "sorry I haven't got a tail, I'm not a dog". And those kids stopped bullying him after that.
- Oxfam charged for the corrugated ironStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: As a new monk Ajahn Brahm read about Oxfam's earthquake relief in Guatemala: instead of giving corrugated iron free, they charged about 5% of cost. Critics called it wrong for an…
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an example of that which I I read when I was first a monk was uh a case of an organization which you may know, it's one of the biggest NGO aid organizations, Oxfam, who went into this the country of Guatemala uh during uh after some earthquakes which devastated uh many areas in Guatemala. And the notable uh exception to their relief effort was that they charged the people who received corrugated iron to to build their new houses. They charged them a small fee to buy the corrugated iron. And many people criticized them. "You're an aid organization. You should be giving these things out for free." But the fellow in charge of this group in Guatemala said, "No, listen." And they were charging maybe 5% of the the cost price you know, of the corrugated iron, so they could build shelters for themselves in the devastated areas. They're charging 5%, which was just a a token for what the thing really cost. But the man in charge said, "We don't just want to build them houses. We want to rebuild their self-esteem as well. So the people who rebuild their houses with a tiny bit of money, which doesn't know come nowhere near to covering even 5% of the costs, is so that when they've built their house, they can feel they have actually contributed
- “Thank you, I do deserve this medal”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: At the annual John Curtin Medal ceremony, a woman with decades of community service insists others deserve it more — just as Ajahn Brahm himself had done; he realises both should…
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Because four years ago on that day the John Curtin University gave me this medal, the John Curtin medal, which is actually for community service, for doing good things for other people. And the first year after I got the medal I thought well, other people came to see me get a medal. I should go and see them. So I rocked up thinking I was just doing a duty, but I really was impressed with what I saw because there were people who'd done good things for the world, especially just this part of the world; and they were getting rewarded. I was just really impressed every year to see how people were really giving and serving for others. It was inspiring, so I've gone every year since. Just a couple weeks ago there was one lady there who'd done a huge amount around the Kalamunda area for the local community, but when she got her medal she came up to give a little speech and she said "I don't know why you've given it to me. There are so many other people who are much more deserving than me and even in my group, these other people work much harder than I do in this group. I've founded it and led it but.." And she was saying all this stuff and I remembered "oh here we go again - why can't you see that actually you do deserve that," because when I was listening to what she did -- she's an amazing woman -- how much she'd given and sacrificed and served for no reward through 30 or 40 years of her life she'd given to others. I thought wow you really deserve that medal. But could she say she deserved it? No. I did the same when I got my medal. "What the heck are you giving it to me for? There are many other people who work harder than me." Me, too, I could not see the beauty in myself. Really what I should've done was go up there and say "Thank you very much, I do deserve this medal." [laughter] But it was true, I did deserve it And she deserved it.
- The kids throwing stones on Bunbury beachStory · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: In the early years in Australia, while Ajahn Brahm meditates on Bunbury beach, stones start whizzing past his ears. He stands up and walks towards the six or seven kids, who…
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once they threw stones at me. And that was over in Bunbury beach many years ago. These kids - I was just meditating there, minding my own business - and this stone came whizzing past my ears. Very good they were bad shots, but as they got closer and closer, I thought I better do something. So I just stood up and turned around. And there were these kids. For those of you who were old enough, that was when the orange people were here. They thought I was an orange person, fair enough mistake, this is pretty orange. But I actually started walking to them, and it's amazing, when you face people who do things like that, as soon as I started walking <u>towards</u> them, they started running away. [laughs] There was about six or seven kids there, and they could have easily beaten me up, but just the confidence there was enough to get them to scatter. And I just rushed after them, caught them up, and said "Look, why are you throwing stones? I'm a Buddhist monk". "Ohh, you're a Buddhist monk, sorry! We thought you were an orange person. Buddhist monks are cool.
- “We've never heard a talk in Sanskrit before”Story · Ajahn Brahm
In brief: A group visiting from Thailand asks for a talk in Thai, so Ajahn Brahm, fluent after years there, gives one. Afterwards they're very impressed: “We've never heard a talk in…
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I remember once giving a talk to a group of Thai people. And they travelled all the way from Thailand to visit this place and to give some donations and they wanted a talk in Thai - so I gave them a talk in Thai. And after the talk in Thai, because I was in Thailand for many years, I was fluent when I lived there. They all said, wow, that was so impressive, we've never heard a talk in Sanskrit before [laughter]. And I said, actually that was in Thai.. "Oh!" said the Thai people, we didn't know